On the Flip Side
by skinny5s
Summary: Sure, we all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?
1. Good or Bad News?

On the Flip Side Chapter 1: Good or Bad News? 

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

Rating: PG for now. May change in later chapters.

Summary: We all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic, so _please_ be nice. I've been reading stories on here for a while and I finally decided to register. Please review, constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated. Also, Summer may seem really ditzy and snobby at first, but that's how she was in the beginning of the show also. Marissa's going to be a little OOC, less of a "dependent crybaby" and more of a street-smart tough girl. Kay?            

"So I was thinking, we'll go to South Coast, get in a little shopping, go to Antonucci's for pizza, and catch a movie? Or we could skip the shopping, or the movie. If you want, we can drive down to L.A.," Seth rambled running to keep up with Summer's fast pace.

            Summer slowed her pace; Seth had asthma, after all. And the last thing she wanted was for her boyfriend to have an asthma attack in the middle of Harbor's parking lot. "Seth," Summer replied in a bored tone, "Can we do that tomorrow night? I told you, my dad and Ashley said they have to talk to me tonight. If it goes quickly, then you can like, pick me up and take me out. But I'll call you."

            "Oh," Seth said, "Okay then. Call me before seven, or I'm going to go out with Ryan and the guys." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before running off to find Ryan.

            ***

            "I'm home," Summer yelled, dropping her keys on the kitchen counter and slipping out of her shoes. She opened the pantry and grabbed a handful of pretzels, crunching them loudly.

            Her father and stepmom came into the kitchen holding hands. Summer wanted to gag, but she didn't. For all she knew, she might be in trouble for maxing out her credit card—again. Hey, if it kept her off drugs, Summer reasoned it was a healthy addiction.

            "How was your day?" Neil Roberts asked. Before Summer could respond, Ashley cut in.

"Summer, honey, we've got a surprise for you!" Summer's stepmom, Ashley smiled.

            Summer rolled her eyes. "What? You're going away again or something?" She turned her back on Ashley and her father, Neil, looking out the French doors that led to the garden. The garden her mom had planted with so much love. 

            Her father laughed. "No, Summer darling. It's much, much better than that. You remember Ashley's cousin, Dave?"

            Summer shook her head. The wedding had only been four months ago, but she couldn't put a face to any of Ashley's relatives.

            "Well, Dave's daughter is in a bit of trouble. We thought it would be best if she came to stay with us for a while. This way, I can keep an eye on her and you'll have a friend. Almost a sister!" Neil put his hand on Summer's shoulder. "Isn't that great?"

            "Super," rolling her eyes again, she turned to face them. "Now can I have my credit card back? It's been four days, and I'm going crazy!"

            Neil and Ashley exchanged a look. Reaching into his wallet, Neil said, "Well, since you're being such a good sport about the whole mess, I don't see why not. Here you are, princess."

            Summer wrapped her arms around her father's neck, kissing him on the cheek. "Thanks, Daddy. You're the best," she grinned and ran upstairs to get ready for the mall. To be honest, Summer didn't really care that Ashley's cousin's daughter, Marissa, was coming to live with her family. As long as the girl wasn't a total washout, she was fine with it. Really, she was. I mean, how bad could Marissa be?

            Ashley turned to Neil. "Do you know what you're getting yourself into? The girl's a heroin addict, chain-smoker, and she has a violent history. Do you really want to do this? I mean, it's not like we're going to be around much."

            "Summer can handle it," Neil replied seriously. "Hopefully she'll get Marissa into acceptable habits, like shopping and what not. Drugs or shopping, they'd both cost me about the same per week."

            "If you're sure…" Ashley said. "Come on. I need to drive me to my pilates class."


	2. Did She Meet Your Expectations?

On the Flip Side 

****

**Chapter Two: Did She Meet Your Expectations?**

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

Rating: PG for now. May change in later chapters.

Summary: We all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic, so _please_ be nice. The first few chapters are going to be somewhat short, but they will get longer and more detailed. Again, this is my first story, so I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this.

            "Be outside when I get there," Seth said. "That way, I won't have to wait an hour while you get ready."

            Summer giggled. "Okay. I'll be waiting." She put the phone back in its cradle and surveyed her bedroom, which was a complete disaster. About half her wardrobe was on the floor; a Saturday spring-cleaning project gone awry. Summer was never the diligent type. Setting goals and sticking to them was not her style. Unless her goal was, say, going to L.A. and spending _at least_ a few thousand.   

After putting on a white flounce mini skirt and a magenta tube top, Summer grabbed her purse and went downstairs. Rapping her knuckles against her father's closed office door, she yelled, "I'm going to South Coast Plaza with Seth. Love you."

            There was no response. Summer shrugged, slightly bummed that neither her dad nor Ashley ever wondered where she was going. Then she shook her head, grinning. Other kids would kill to be in her situation. Her parents were never there, so they could never _not_ let her go out. And besides, the Roberts family motto was practically, "Don't ask, don't tell."

            Summer sat down on the front stoop to wait for Seth. Her father opened the front door and peered out. "Summer," he said, seeing his daughter.

            "Oh, daddy, hi," Summer's face brightened. "I didn't think you were home."

            "I forgot to tell you, sweetheart, but Marissa's coming today. I need you to be here to let her in, as I'm going to be tied up in a conference call meeting for a few hours," he said. 

            Summer threw a death-glare at her father. "But I'm going to the mall with Seth," she whined.

            Mr. Roberts sighed, running his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair. "You still can. Just wait until Marissa comes. I'm sure the boy won't mind waiting."

            Shrugging, Summer considered this. "Fine. But as soon as she gets here, I'm, like, so out of here!"

            He blew a kiss at Summer and went back inside, shutting the door behind him. Summer sat there for a few more minutes, until Ashley's BMW convertible pulled up. Ashley waved excitedly to Summer, and said something to the person in the passenger seat. They both got out of the car, heading towards Summer.

            "Sum-sum," Ashley squealed, "Meet Marissa."

            Summer stared at Marissa critically, giving her the famous Roberts once-over. Diesel skirt, James Perse shirt. Not bad, for a supposed street kid. Then she noticed the Saks Fifth Avenue shopping bags in the backseat. Apparently Ashley had taken Marissa shopping before bringing her home to Summer. Smart move, stepmom, Summer thought. At least Marissa had a chance of being accepted by her, now that she wasn't wearing whatever poor people wore.

            "Hi," Marissa glanced at Summer, then looked down at the ground.

            Summer bit her lip and decided to be nice. "Hey, why don't we get your bags, and then I can show you around." Turning to Ashley, "Since Marissa's going to be here for a while, I think we need to have her room painted and furnished. It will be fun. We can go shopping for a whole new wardrobe, of course."

            Ashley and Summer grinned at each other. Another chance to shop? Hell, they were on the next bus out. Marissa stuck her hands in the pockets of her skirt, eyes still firmly planted on the ground. She shrugged, and walked back to the car to get her things.

            "So, you're from…?" Summer asked, grabbing one of Marissa's bags and peering inside. The lucky bitch. Ashley had sprung for the Marc raincoat, which Summer had had her eye on for weeks. Of course, who needed a raincoat when the sun shone all year round? Oh well. If she and Marissa got to be good friends, maybe Marissa would let her borrow it. 

            "Chino," Marissa replied emotionlessly. "Have you ever been there?"

            Summer wrinkled her nose, trying to hide her disdain. "No," she answered as nicely as possible, "but I hear it's nice."

            "It's not terrible," Marissa admitted, "but compared to this…it's nothing."

            Summer smiled. Of course Chino couldn't hold a candle to Newport. Few towns in the whole country did. "Let's go put this stuff in your room."

            Marissa plopped down on the bed, with its cream colored bedspread. The walls, floor, and furniture were also cream colored. In a word, blah. Summer surveyed the guest room, which was right next to hers. They were exactly the same size, but Summer's was _far_ more interesting. Of course, Ashley had no sense of style when it came to interior decorating, but she'd insisted on cream colors for the entire house. Except for Summer's room. Summer wouldn't let her touch her precious pink room.

            "We're going to fix this up," Summer assured Marissa, sitting down on the bed next to her.

            Marissa looked at her curiously. "Why? It's fine."

            "You've got a lot to learn," Summer sighed. "_This_ is boring. _This_ is bland, tasteless decorating. If it's going to be your room, you'll want to put your own personal touch on it. I'll have daddy arrange a meeting with the interior decorator, Karen. She's great."

            Just then a car honked. Summer smacked her head. She'd completely forgotten about Seth. "That'll be my boyfriend," Summer told Marissa. "We're going to South Coast. It's a mall. You can come if you want."

            "Okay," Marissa agreed. "If you don't mind. I mean, you probably want to spend time with him."

            "No. I've got enough time with Seth as it is," she laughed. "It'll be fun."

            "Seth, this is Ashley's cousin's daughter, Marissa," Summer said. "Marissa, this is my boyfriend, Seth Cohen."

            Marissa raised her eyebrows. "He's Jewish?"

            Arms crossed against her chest, Summer began to get a little defensive. "Yeah, he is. So what?"

            "No…it's just that, my dad was Jewish. Which makes me half, I guess," Marissa said, bringing herself back into Summer's good graces.

            "Cool," Seth grinned, "Jew number two has finally arrived at Harbor. You can join the Jewish Club. We've got a Christian one, and Muslim one, even a Wiccan one. I'm the president of the Jewish club. And its only member," he added.

            Summer rolled her eyes as Seth looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "We would all join, but Dr. Kim insists that to be part of one of the Religion Clubs, you've actually got to be that religion."

            "Enough with school talk," Seth decided, as Summer and Marissa got in the car. Summer sat in the passenger seat, Marissa in the back. Feeling a little bit bad for leaving Marissa in the back, Summer thought about moving to sit with her. Then she thought against it.

            "Here we are," Seth announced, pulling into a spot directly in front of Nordstrom. They got out of the car and went into the store.

            Summer immediately ran off, leaving Seth and Marissa with only each other. "Is she always like this?" Marissa asked. "I'm not trying to be rude or anything."

            Seth laughed. "It's okay. She's like this pretty much all the time. She's great, isn't she?"

            Smiling slightly, Marissa shrugged. "I barely know her." Personally, Marissa didn't think she was going to get along with a girl whose whole life revolved around shopping. Marissa had better things to do with money than buy enough clothes for four people. She could be helping out her mom, or her dad. Or she could use it to save for college…if she ever went. The chances were slim to none, she knew. Her parents needed her, and honestly, it was just a waste of years that could be spent earning a living. Marissa doubted Summer would _ever_ have to worry about working, or budgeting for that matter. 

            Marissa blinked and she realized Seth was no longer standing next to her. Great, she was in a strange place and knew hardly anyone. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Seth, with his curly black hair, waving wildly to her. 

            She walked over to him, and this dirty-blonde haired boy that was him. "Marissa, this is Ryan. Ryan, Marissa. She's Summer's step mom's cousin or something."

            Ryan acknowledged her with a slight nod of his head. Apparently he wasn't much of a smiler, or talker for that matter.

            God, he was cute, Marissa thought. Just then Summer shrieked for Seth to get in the dressing room. Seth smiled sheepishly and ran off to help his girlfriend, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone.

            "So, what are you doing here?" Ryan asked. Marissa was pretty…goddamn it she was hot.

            "I came to stay with Summer and her family for a while," Marissa offered. Ryan accepted it, assuming he wouldn't get any other explanation out of the girl. Yet.

            A petite girl with golden hair came up to them and laced her fingers through Ryan's. "Hi, I'm Grace, Ryan's _girlfriend_," she emphasized the word _girlfriend_, shooting a suspicious look at Marissa.

            "I'm Marissa, Summer's step-cousin," Marissa told her. So he had a girlfriend. Of course he had a girlfriend. How could he not? 

            Grace brightened up. "Oh, Summer is like, I don't know, my best friend," she giggled. "Funny, she's never mentioned you before."

            Marissa shrugged. "Uh…we should get going. I guess I'll see you around," Ryan waved helplessly at Marissa as Grace began tugging on his arm. She waved as well and led him away. 

***

            "Marissa? Can I come in?" Summer's voice, soft and full of concern, could be heard from the other side of the door. Marissa froze. Quickly she put away the pills and stuffed the plastic baggy underneath her pillow. 

            "Just a second," Marissa called, running into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her hands. She emerged a minute later. "Come in."

            Summer peeked into the room. "Hey, are you okay? You didn't look so good before."

            "Sorry that I had to cut your shopping trip short. I guess I ate something that didn't agree with me," Marissa lied. She couldn't tell Summer that she'd been craving. Again. She'd taken a quick look around Summer's house and had been delighted to find an abundant supply of all sorts of pain-relievers. Besides her own stash, of course.

            Summer sniffed. "Does it smell funny in here to you?" 

            "No," Marissa said. "It's just you."

            Summer shrugged. "Okay. Well, I'm going to go order a pizza; Seth and Ryan and Grace are coming over. If you're feeling better you can join us."

            "Thanks," Marissa said. "Maybe I'll see you later."

            It seemed to Marissa that Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Grace were the best of friends. That could get annoying. Especially if Summer kept inviting her to hang out with them. The last thing Marissa wanted was to feel like the fifth wheel.

            The effects of the pills were beginning to show themselves. Marissa decided to take a nap, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

            She heard them, but she couldn't see them. She felt them, but she didn't know what they were shaking. Marissa was numb.

            "Marissa," Summer cried, "wake up."

            Slowly, Marissa opened her eyes, quickly shutting them as the bright light hit them. "What?" she demanded.

            "Oh my god, for a second there, you like, wouldn't wake up," Summer told her. "We were freaking out."

            Marissa counted the still hazy figures standing around her. One, Summer, two, Seth, three, Ryan. Where was Grace?

            Pointing to who she hoped was Ryan, she asked, "Where's your girlfriend?"

            Seth laughed, pointing to Summer. "Right here. But if you're wondering about Ryan's girlfriend, she's at a SAT prep course. Her parents are making her take two classes a week even though she's not taking them for months and months. It's crazy."

            "Oh," Marissa said, feeling stupid. Goddamn pills. If only she could stop…but then things would get worse. She'd have to face reality. Her mother was dead, lying in an alley somewhere. Her father was out of jail on $10,000 bail, but nowhere to be found. It was so much easier when she could pretend that there were no problems.  


	3. What Has She Gotten Herself Into?

****

On the Flip Side

Chapter 3: What has she gotten herself into?

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

Rating: PG for now. May change in later chapters.

Summary: We all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

****

A/N: This is my first fanfic, so _please_ be nice. I've been reading stories on here for a while and I finally decided to register. Please review, constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated. I'm really getting into this story, and thought of ways to develop it better. So I might be making changes to the first two chapters. 

Marissa managed to convince the three that she was fine. Really, she was. She just needed to sleep it off. Sighing, she reached under her pillow and grabbed the bottle with the sleeping pills in it. For once, she was actually going to use them for their intended purpose.

She didn't notice Ryan still standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "What are you doing?" 

Hastily shoving the bottle back under her pillow, Marissa replied, "Nothing."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "That bottle of pills didn't look like _nothing_."

"Thanks for caring, but really, I'm fine," Marissa snapped, curling back under the covers. "You should leave." Ryan came and sat by the bed, ignoring her request.

"Don't fuck yourself up. It'll get you nowhere," snarled Ryan, his blue eyes flashing with concern. Marissa knew he meant well. And she was touched that he cared, not knowing her well and all.

"What would _you_ know about screwing up? I bet your perfect Abercrombie life has never, ever gone horribly wrong," Marissa shuddered suddenly. The room had taken on a slight chill. 

"More than you know," Ryan sighed heavily, and for some reason Marissa felt inclined to believe he knew what he was talking about. 

"You don't know the half of it," the words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. And then the tears squirmed out of her eyes, before she even realized it. Then she was in Ryan's arms and he was holding her, rubbing her back as her body convulsed with shivers and sobs. 

"Hey. We heard crying and decided to investigate," Seth announced as he flung open the door dramatically. Seeing Marissa in Ryan's arms, he turned on his heel. "Oh…sorry, I didn't know."

He shut the door behind him and went to find Summer.

"Did you know that your cousin is in Ryan's arms? Ryan who I might add has a girlfriend? Your best friend as a matter of fact," Seth stated in one breath. Summer gave him a look. "Was I rambling? So sorry."

"Chill out. It's probably nothing. Maybe she's upset over something and he just happened to be there to help. It doesn't help to get like, overly excited," Summer pointed out. "Besides, it's not like Ryan would like a girl like her. I mean, she is my cousin…but, you know?"

Nodding, Seth opened the refrigerator and grabbed the milk carton. He opened it up and brought it to his lips, gulping a good four times before setting it firmly on the counter and wiping his mouth.

"Seth Cohen!" Summer admonished. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Seth looked at her, tilting his head as if he was trying to figure something out. "Drinking some milk," he replied seriously, flexing his arms. "It's good for the bones, you know."

She rolled her eyes. "That wasn't the point. The point was that it was extremely rude and I'm never coming over here for breakfast. And I won't stay overnight to get breakfast in the morning, if you're going to contaminate the milk like that!" Summer crossed her arms defiantly.

"Uh…sorry?" Seth offered. "You're the one that kisses this mouth. So I don't really find it disgusting."

"Well I do!" Summer yelled.

"Well I do!" Seth mimicked quietly, focusing his eyes on the coffeepot.

"Excuse me?" Summer cupped one hand to her ear.

"What?" Seth asked innocently, opening up the pantry and grabbing a Pop-Tart. Summer was always on his case to stop eating the unhealthy snacks, but he really couldn't. It was an addiction. And if it kept him off drugs, he reasoned it was a healthy obsession.

"I'm sorry…you should go," Marissa said, pulling away from Ryan's grasp. He held onto her though, for a reason he couldn't figure out. "Please," she pleaded with him, and he complied this time.

"Don't do this to yourself," Ryan said. 

Looking up at him with eyes threatening to spill over with tears, Marissa said, "I wish I didn't have to."

Ryan sighed. He couldn't deal with this right now. "I'm going. I'll see you around."

Marissa collapsed back on the bed and began to cry. She felt so alone; even Ryan though she was a freak and wanted to get away from her. Soon Summer came in and began to sing to Marissa. The exhausted girl feel asleep almost instantly, after which Summer smiled, covered her cousin with a blanket, and left the room.

***

"So, you start school tomorrow, right?" Ryan asked Marissa, taking a bite of his pepper covered pizza. They had gone out for lunch and realized that they both loved pizza with lots of pepper on it, Cokes with fresh lime, and chocolate cheesecake. 

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Unfortunately. I don't want to, though. It's a waste of time, really. I could be out there getting a job or something."

"Harbor's not that bad. I think you'll like it. If you can escape all the Abercrombie zombies. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have to admit I'm just like them, but in a way I'm different, you know?" Ryan shook his head empathetically. "At least _your_ parents aren't always on your case to get perfect grades."

"Believe me, I wish my parents _were_ on my case," Marissa smiled ruefully. _I wish I knew where they were_. 

Ryan wanted to ask her about her family. He was so curious as to what would drive her to take those pills and the drugs. But they hadn't talked about that night when he held her in his arms. And, quite frankly, Ryan wasn't looking forward to it. Because he had a girlfriend, which didn't explain his actions that night. After Marissa had fallen asleep, he'd tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead. So maybe it could've been interpreted as a friendly, caring gesture. But he had a girlfriend, which definitely didn't explain the _extremely_ vivid thoughts about Marissa that were going through his head. 

***

"Hey," Marissa said, walking up to Ryan. Summer and Seth had gone off, wanting to get the best seats for first period—the back row. Marissa, who had Mr. Lee fourth period, had been forewarned that he was a spitter. 

"Hey," Ryan smiled. "Guys, this is Marissa. Summer's cousin. Marissa, this is Jake, Eric, Rocky, and Tom."

Marissa nodded hello to each of the guys. She could feel their eyes moving from her head to her toes. They were checking her out, and she should've been enjoying it, but all she could think of was Ryan. Had he checked her out when they first met? Marissa couldn't remember. She silently thanked Ashley for taking her shopping. Her old clothes would obviously not cut it in Newport.

"Marissa? You go here?" Grace asked dubiously, coming up behind Ryan and wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"Hi, Grace. Now I do," Marissa said. She could tell that Grace was a little jealous of her, for reasons unbeknownst…yet. Sure, Marissa liked Ryan, but the chances of him liking her were like, one in a million. Besides, he had a gorgeous girlfriend already. She was sure he wouldn't want a grungy pill popper such as herself. Which made her want to cry, and take away all the pain.

"Ry, I'm going to show Marissa around, and introduce her to the girls," Grace said, kissing Ryan on his nose. Marissa locked eyes with Jake, and their eyes laughed at the sight. Grace gestured for Marissa to follow her. She waved apologetically at the boys, and followed Ryan's girlfriend.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Marissa asked innocently, "Grace, is something wrong?"

Grace's eyes narrowed. "Not yet, but there will be, if you keep hanging out with Ryan. He's mine, babe. So keep your hands and eyes to yourself, got it?"

Marissa laughed. "You think that _I_ want Ryan? Sorry to break the bad news to you, but I don't go for rich bastards like him. So don't get your panties in a bunch. We're just friends."

"_Whatever_. Just wanted to make sure that was clear. Now, let's go introduce you to the girls."

Marissa began to walk away. "No, that's okay. I have a meeting with Dr. Kim before class starts, anyway. I'll catch you later though," having no intention of meeting up with Grace later, Marissa smiled and waved.

"I know you guys are best friends and all, but Grace is _such_ a bitch," Marissa told Summer. The two were sitting on the shag carpet in the den, eating Sun Chips and drinking Diet Sprite. 

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that," Summer said, and that shut Marissa up pretty fast. "So how was your first day of school?"

Marissa grabbed a handful of chips. "Surprisingly well. Other than the fact that I'm really behind."

"You should ask Dr. Kim for a tutor. Some of the kids tutor for community service hours. And some because they've got no life," Summer smirked.

***

"_You're _my tutor?" Marissa asked incredulously, staring at Ryan. The sandy haired boy was standing in front of her, backpack on back and a few thick textbooks in his hands. 

"_You _need a tutor?" Ryan asked, equally skeptically. Shit. Grace was _so_ not going to like this. 

"I can just ask Dr. Kim to switch me," Marissa offered. The last thing she needed was for Grace to badmouth her to all of the other students at Harbor. Especially when, if she couldn't have Ryan, she wanted Jake. Or Rocky. Or any other hot guy there. Which pretty much meant any guy at the school.

Ryan shook his head. "No, no, it's okay. Why shouldn't I be your tutor?" As if to challenge her, Ryan raised his eyebrows.

"So how was tutoring?" Summer asked, turning on the flat screen plasma television in the media room. "Ohmigod! There's like, a The Valley marathon on! Do you watch that show?"

"It was fine," Marissa said. "And no, I've never heard of it. But then again, we didn't have a TV."

"Ohmigod! Are you, like, serious?" Summer turned to Marissa with eyes as big as silver dollars. "That blows."

Marissa shrugged, and Summer let it be. It wasn't Marissa's fault that she was too poor to have a TV, Summer reasoned.

"So did I tell you? We're going to a party Thursday night," Summer announced, sighing as Grady Bridges' beautiful body filled the screen.

"_We_?" Marissa asked.

"Yes," exasperated, Summer began to explain. "It will give you a chance to get to know everyone, out of school."

***

"Hey, Ryan," Marissa slurred, stumbling over to where Ryan was hanging out with Rocky and Tom. 

"Marissa, are you drunk?" Tom asked. Rocky laughed, slinging his arm around her.

"Just a little," Marissa showed them with her hands. "Come here," she motioned to Rocky, wrapping her arms around his neck. Suddenly she went limp, and Rocky had to grab her around the waist to keep her from sliding down his body.

"We need to get her out of here," Ryan said, pointing to the half-conscious girl. 

Tom and Rocky exchanged looks. "Why?" 

"Because two asses like you are going to take advantage of her if we don't," Ryan explained, glaring at his friends. How dare they try to get with Marissa! Only he could. Wait…what was he saying? He had a girlfriend…oh that's right, Grace. And she was gorgeous, popular, and everything Ryan should want in a girl. At least according to his parents.

"Oh, come off it, Ryan," Rocky said. "What's it to you?"

Shit. They'd cornered him. Now, if he admitted that he cared about Marissa, they'd know. And it would get to Grace. Whom he'd been "in love" with since 5th grade. So, he had to pretend to not care about Marissa. Not _one_ little bit.

"I'm just playin', guys," Ryan grinned and high-fived Tom. "Go have your fun."

Marissa, who was no longer limp, opened her eyes and found herself in Rocky's arms. After pausing for a second, she began to nuzzle his neck. Ryan gave Rocky the thumbs up, while at the same time knowing he would regret this later.


	4. She's In Trouble Already?

****

On the Flip Side

Chapter 4: She's in trouble already?

****

Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

****

Rating: PG for now. May change in later chapters.

****

Summary: We all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

****

A/N: This is my first fanfic, so _please_ be nice. I've been reading stories on here for a while and I finally decided to register. I am trying to make Seth funnier and all…so if you have a suggestion I'd love to hear it. I'm not very good at writing his character for some reason. Also, in this chapter we see the introduction of R/M! I know you're all excited. 

"Sum-sum, where's Marissa?" Ashley knocked on Summer's door. She pulled the covers more tightly over her head as Ashley flicked on the lights.

"I don't know, Ash. Did you look in _her_ room?" Ashley was nice and generally didn't bother Summer, but sometimes she was _such_ a ditz. 

"I did," Ashley stated proudly. "I thought maybe she went for a run…but I wanted to see if she told you. Since she didn't leave a note."

Summer's mind traveled back to the night before. She'd seen Rocky and Tom, with Marissa in their arms, leaving the party. Had she seen Marissa since then? Summer couldn't remember, still slightly hung over from last night. But why was Ashley still home. She and Summer's father were supposed to leave on a "business trip" to Florence.

"Um…" Summer yawned, kicking back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I can't remember, honestly. I thought you were leaving for Florence today."

Ashley came and sat on Summer's bed. "We are, Sum. Your dad already went to the airport to meet a client whose flight came in early. I just wanted to check on you girls before we left."

Summer's face fell a little. Her dad had already left? Without saying goodbye? He even had to get Ashley to talk to Summer for him now? Was she that insignificant? "Oh. Well have fun. Don't worry about Marissa, I'm sure she'll be back soon."

Ashley considered this for a minute, then, kissing Summer on the cheek, "Okay, love. I'll have your dad call when we get to Florence, okay? Have fun."

She left the room and Summer went into her walk-in closet. After picking out a yellow Juicy hoodie and stretchy white capris, Summer put her Reef flip flops on and went outside to see where Marissa might be. Before she had even walked out the front door she heard Ashley screaming. Summer ran outside and saw Ashley hovering over an unconscious Marissa. 

"Ohmigod, Ash. What did you do to her?" Summer asked, getting a little worried.

Ashley put her head in her hands and began to bawl. "Nothing, Sum-sum. I came outside to leave and found her lying on the driveway. What happened?"

Summer didn't bother to point out that her guess was as good as Ashley's. Instead, she walked over to Marissa and began to shake her gently. "Marissa…wake up."

Slowly Marissa opened her eyes. "Summer? Where am I?"

"Oh, Thank God!" Ashley dramatically put her hand over her heart. "I was _so_ worried."

"I'm fine," Marissa tried to brush it off, but upon making an attempt to stand, she collapsed back on the ground.

"Where were you? What happened?" Summer asked. 

"I don't know," Marissa whispered. Summer and Ashley helped her up, bringing her into the house so they could talk without the neighbors overhearing. Nothing was private in Newport, unless it went on _behind_ closed doors.

"Summer, Marissa and I need to have a talk, alone," Ashley said. Summer shrugged and went upstairs. She had to get ready for school, after all. 

When she went back into the kitchen to grab a frozen waffle for breakfast, Ashley and Marissa were going at it.

"While I'm away, you better not get into any trouble. Neil will be absolutely _furious_ if he finds out about this," Ashley snapped.

Marissa rolled her eyes. "You can't stop me. And do you really think _Summer_ can control me? I'd think again, Ashley. Look, it's not a big deal. I normally don't get like that. Maybe it's because back where I'm from, we're not used to the fancy, expensive liquor that is a lot stronger."

Ashley's celery colored eyes flared. "You're grounded. I'm calling up Winnie and she's going to stay with you and Sum-sum while I'm away. That way, you'll have a responsible adult watching out for you."

Summer bit her lip to keep from laughing. Winnie had been her nanny until she was eleven, and too cool to have a nanny transporting her everywhere. Still, whenever Ashley or her father needed someone, they called Winnie. And Winnie was a free spirited wild woman. She let Summer do whatever she wanted. Of which, Neil and Ashley knew nothing about, of course. 

Oh well. Was it really right to stand idly by and let Ashley falsely think she was pulling the reins in tighter? Hell yeah! 

"Whatever," Marissa spat. "Have a nice trip."

She stalked out of the kitchen, presumably to go upstairs and freshen up for school.

Seeing Summer, Ashley brightened. "Hi, Summer. Sorry about that. She's a little rambunctious. But she's family, so we've got to put up with her. Don't worry. For your trouble, I'll have the newest fashions from Italy sent home to you."

She kissed Summer on the cheek and flounced out of the room. "Bye, love."

***

"So over there are the skaters." Summer was giving Marissa a tour of the lunchroom, where she could most easily see the social hierarchy of Harbor. "And over there, well, you want to stay away. Those are the mathletes, the nerds, and the bocce players. And two tables over, those are the nothings. They're not popular but they're not losers either. Basically they just float around by themselves. They don't affect the school in a positive or negative way. If you want to be known, don't go with them."

"Yo, Summer, over here," Eric shouted. Summer looked at Marissa, who shrugged. The girls walked over to the table.

"Hey, Cohen," Summer's face lit up when she saw Seth. "Guys, you remember Marissa."

There was a murmur of agreement. Summer saw Rocky and Tom wink at each other, but she didn't know why. Maybe they liked Marissa? She smiled, shaking that ludicrous thought of her mind.

"We saved you a seat, Marissa," Rocky said, as the guys made a space next to him for her.

"Thanks," Marisa replied curtly. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why all of these guys were paying attention to her. Were they setting her up? Was this some kind of practical joke that Summer was in on, too? 'Make the poor loser think that everyone likes her'. She glanced at Summer, who was hiding nothing in her eyes. The only thing Marisa could see was love for Seth.

She sat down next to Rocky and felt his hand on her ass. Glancing at him a little curiously, he said, "We need to talk later."

Marissa shrugged. "Okay." She sat there sipping her Diet Coke. 

"Aren't you hungry?" Tom pointed to the Diet Coke. "That's not a very filling lunch."

There was another one who cared about her. _This_, however, was not an easy problem to fix. Marissa had been skipping lunch, and breakfast, since she was about twelve, when she'd first noticed the baby fat. Of course, everyone around her insisted that there was _no_ baby fat, because there actually wasn't. Since then, it'd just been a steady cycle. 

"I'm fine," Marissa said. "I had a big breakfast."

She silently thanked God that Summer was so wrapped up in Sethland, she couldn't even point out that Marissa hadn't had breakfast. 

"Okay," Tom seemed to accept this and went back to eating his three slices of pizza. He noticed Marissa staring at him, and grinned. "I'm a football player," he offered. "You want some?"

"No, really, I'm fine," Marissa insisted. Rocky put his arm around her.

"Leave her alone, Tom," Rocky said, keeping his voice level and friendly. But Marissa could sense the warning disguised underneath. It was a voice she'd heard all too many times, from her dad, her boyfriends, her dealer. 

"You taste like chocolate," Summer announced, licking her lips.

"So do you," Seth challenged.

"But only because I got it from _your _mouth," Summer argued. The guys at the table exchanged looks of disgust. 

"Keep it PG, please," Eric begged. "This is lunch; I'd like to get through it without being sick."

"Fine, you want PG, I'll make it PG," Seth grinned and began to nuzzle Summer's neck. He left a trail of kisses all the way up her neck, ending with a sweet, gentle kiss on the cheek. "There. You wanted PG, I gave you PG."

Summer slapped Seth. "The boys are right, Cohen. Let's go somewhere…more private?" This generated an ever larger groan from the guys. Eric pushed away his lunch. "I can't eat any more. I think I'm going to be sick."

Summer and Seth got up from the table and went off in search for an empty classroom to make out in. They didn't care where, just as long as they got some tonsil-hockey in. According to Summer, exercise was _very_ important. And, Seth wasn't going to argue with that.

"Are they always like that?" Marissa asked, wrinkling her nose. 

"It gets worse," Tom said. "You should see them in 5th period English lit. Ms. Monroe keeps on talking, not noticing a thing, while they're going at it in the back row."

"Summer told me they always get the back row because the teachers spit," Marissa said thoughtfully. "But I realize that's not the only reason."

Rocky and Eric laughed, while Tom cracked a smile. It was hard for him to do much else; his mouth was stuffed with pizza.

"Who do you have next period?" Tom asked, wiping his greasy mouth with a napkin. 

"World History with Dobson," Marissa sighed. "I've had him for one day and I've already learned that he gives at least an hour of homework every night."

"I've got him too," Rocky said. "Funny, I didn't see you yesterday."

"I had a tutoring session. But from now on they're going to be after school," Marissa explained. "Dr. Kim wanted me to have one right away though."

"Well, we can go to class together. And I'll help you with the homework if you want," Rocky offered. Marissa nodded her head. They got up and left the table.

"Dude," Tom said to Eric, as soon as Rocky was out of earshot, "I like her."

Eric smiled grimly. "So does Rocky. Look, I'm not touching that. It's between you and him and I definitely _don't_ want to get in-between Rocky. Sorry, man."

"It's not really up to Rocky though, is it?" Tom asked. "I guess we'll see who _Marissa_ likes better."

"I don't know…" Eric replied. "It's your shit though. I'm not getting involved, okay?"

***

"What are you doing this weekend?" Rocky asked Marissa as she got her books out of her locker.

"I don't know yet," Marissa chose her words carefully. "It all depends…"

"On what?" Rocky asked. Was she playing games with him? He liked girls like that…and none of the Harbor girls ever did that.

"Oh, I don't know," Marissa replied coolly. 

"I was thinking we could do something. Together," Rocky told her.

"I'll think about it," she said, shutting her locker and walking away. Rocky hurried to catch up with her.

So she was playing hard to get. He could deal with that. Even learn to enjoy it.

"Let me know," Rocky said. He took her arm and steered her into the classroom. "Here's Dobson's class."

"Hey," Summer grinned as she slid in the seat on the other side of Marissa. She leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Rocky likes you."

"I know," Marissa giggled back. She wanted Ryan, God knows she did. But for now, she could settle for Rocky. There was definitely a physical attraction to him, if nothing else. 

"Miss Roberts, settle down," Mr. Dobson walked into the room, leather briefcase in hand. 

"Sorry," Summer said. She was so excited though! One of the most popular guys in school liked her cousin. That, and the fact that Marissa was Summer's cousin, almost automatically made her a shoe-in for the popular crowd.

After class, both Rocky and Ryan came up to Marissa.

"So, how'd you like it?" Rocky asked, not noticing Ryan standing behind him.

"It was overwhelming, to say the least," Marissa admitted.

"I can still help you with the class," Rocky offered. "And let me know about this weekend. Later."

He winked and walked away from Marissa. Marissa saw Ryan and said, "Hey, Ryan."

Ryan's face remained expressionless, like a slab of stone. "Hey. You're not going out with Rocky this weekend, are you?"

Marissa felt her face flush with indignation. Who was Ryan to put down Rocky? "As a matter of fact, I am," she snapped. "Do you have a problem with that?"

The corners of Ryan's mouth twitched. "Watch out for him, Marissa. I'm just trying to protect you, that's all."

"Well, thanks, but I don't need your advice. Especially when _you_ don't even know _me_," eyes narrowing, Marissa's heart was secretly jumping. Was Ryan doing this because _he_ liked her? She didn't know, but had a growing suspicion. 

"Just wait and see," Ryan warned, and walked off to his next class.

***

"You look hot," Rocky said, kissing Marissa on the cheek. "Here, these are for you." 

Marissa smiled as he handed her the flowers. "Thanks, Rocky. You didn't have to do this."

"I know," Rocky grinned. So far, so good. "I wanted to."

Rocky held open the door to his silver BMW convertible and helped Marissa get in. They drove off to some fancy restaurant; Marissa couldn't even pronounce its name. Some Chez- French place. Rocky even had to order for Marissa, since the whole menu was in French. She felt so inferior compared to Rocky, who spoke French, Latin, and Spanish, as well as English. 

All the while she was having a lovely time with Rocky, Marissa couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. Rocky was really nice. But compared to Ryan, he just didn't cut it. But Ryan was so obviously unattainable that she might as well give Rocky a shot.

"I had a really good time, Rocky," Marissa whispered huskily, standing on the front porch of Summer's house.

"So did I," Leaning in, Rocky caught Marissa unawares and kissed her. Marissa was surprised, yet pleased. She wrapped her arms around Rocky's neck and forced herself to get lost in the moment.

Their perfectly romantic end to a perfectly romantic evening came all too soon. Summer opened the door, her eyes popped open, and re-shut the door. Embarrassed, Rocky and Marissa broke apart.

"I should go," Marissa said, after a moment of awkward silence. She opened the door to Summer's house and shut it behind her. Walking into the living room, Marissa saw Seth, Summer, and Ryan poring over a math textbook. They were all in Calculus, while Marissa was in Dynamics-Pre Calculus. 

The three didn't notice her until she cleared her throat expectantly. "Hey, Summer," Seth winked. "How was _your_ night?" He yelped as Summer hit him on the head. "Yes. That would be my head."

"It was great, actually. Thanks for asking, Seth," Marissa made sure to stare directly at Ryan while she was saying this.

"Rocky's a really nice guy," Summer observed.

"Rocky _is_ really nice," Seth agreed. "I'm sure he's a great boyfriend…I mean, not that I've had any experience with being his girlfriend, but I'm sure he'll be great anyway. Why are you all staring at me like that?"

Summer rolled her eyes and kissed Seth on the neck. He let out a little moan, after which Ryan gagged, Marissa sighed, and Summer glared at him.

"Cohen, you are _such_ a pansy. But I love you," Summer grinned. "I just hope you don't do stuff like that in front of your friends."

"Oh, believe me, he does," Ryan smirked. "All the time. I think the reason the guys don't tease him for it is because they're scared of _you_, Summer."

Seth shrugged. "No comment."

"For some reason, I can totally believe that," Marissa said, reminding the three that she was alive and kicking.

"So Rocky's a keeper, huh?" Seth asked, lazily rubbing circles on Summer's knee. 

With three pairs of eyes focused on her, Marissa answered to the sharpest blue ones. "I think so."

Abruptly, Ryan's eyes flashed with…what was it? Marissa couldn't untangle the jumble of emotions in those cerulean liquid pools. He stood up. 

"I'm going to get something to drink. Seth, Sum, you guys want anything?"

The two shook their heads simultaneously--well it was kind of hard not to when they were in a liplock. 

"I'll come with," Marissa told him. Ryan chose to ignore this and went into the kitchen. She followed him, not sure of what she was going to say. But Marissa was a smart cookie, whatever came out of her mouth would be the right thing. 

"Do you have a problem with me?" Okay, so bluntness was one of Marissa's specialties. Ryan didn't answer. Instead he walked over to the fridge and took out two cans of Yoo-hoo, sliding one across the counter to Marissa. She grabbed it right before it fell off the edge of the counter.

"Do you have a hearing problem?" Marissa asked, tweaking her question slightly. She knew he'd have to answer this time.

Sighing, Ryan opened his drink and took a long swig. When he was done he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. "I'd like it if you didn't go out with Rocky anymore."

"And why the hell not?" 

"Look," Ryan said, running his fingers through that gorgeous mop of hair, "you don't know him like I do. I'm telling you, he's bad news."

"Riight," Marissa drawled the 'I' sound. "A guy who brings me flowers, opens the door for me, and helps me read off the menu when I can't understand the language. That's _exactly _the kind of guy you want me to stay away from?"

Ryan lowered his voice. Engrossed as they were in a little one-on-one tongue session, Summer and Seth were still nosy teenagers with acute hearing. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Oh, so just because _you_ think that you're doing me a favor, means that I should think the same? You obviously know nothing about me," Marissa snickered. 

The next thing Marissa knew, she was in his arms and his mouth was everywhere and her hands were around his neck. And she didn't want him to stop. He was kissing her with such a fervent passion that she felt like she was being abused, in the sensual sort of way. 

"I want to know you better," Ryan whispered, running his hands through Marissa's hair. 

****

A/N: I didn't think this chapter was going to get so long, so I've decided to cut it off here. I'll try to post Chapter 5, which is really just the other part of Chapter 4, within the next couple of hours. R & R!!


	5. What Happens Now?

On the Flip Side 

****

**Chapter Five: What happens now?**

**Disclaimer: **It might come as a shock…but I don't own the O.C.

**Summary:** Sure, we all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

**A/N:** I realized that I haven't mentioned this, so here goes: Ryan was adopted by the Cohens when he was 13. So he's been with them a while. And I might have to go back and fix one of the earlier chapters, because I think I mentioned Ryan being at his house and getting ready to come to Seth's. Which is impossible, since they live in the same house. Also, the poolhouse is like a hangout for both Seth and Ryan. Ryan lives in the house with his family. Wow!! Addressing the great response to the story so far:

Ryansosexy, Sis2ACesarSalad: Ryan's going to "rescue" Marissa from a variety of things—emotional and physical.

Sis2ACesarSalad: About the kiss, I know it was kind of abrupt and rushed. Just like you, I wanted their first kiss to be meaningful and passionate like on the show. However, you'll see in upcoming chapters how I make this up…Because they are _not_ getting together soon. 

Natalie: Glad you like it. Even though it's not exactly the same chain of events as on the show, hopefully people will begin to realize the similarities. I couldn't believe that no one's done this story with Marissa as the new character, so hopefully I'm doing a good job on it! 

To ALL: Thanks a lot for reviewing!! You guys really inspire me to churn out the chapters quicker, and to make them good. Any suggestions you have, leave them in your review, because I like to incorporate your ideas into my own story to make it better!

On with the story…

"What just happened?" Marissa asked, slowly backing away from Ryan.

"I don't know," Ryan offered.

"That's _so_ helpful," she replied dryly.

"So…" Ryan asked. "What now?"

Marissa bit her lip. What had she been thinking? Ryan was _very, very_ much involved in a relationship. But he was such a good kisser…Damn.

"What the hell is taking you guys so long?" Summer yelled from the living room.

Marissa chose to ignore Ryan's question. "We should go back." She grabbed her soda off of the counter and started to walk back to the living room. Ryan grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around.

"Wait," he pleaded. "What are we going to do?"

"You're going to go back to your perfect girlfriend and your perfect life and forget this ever happened. Because that's what I'm going to do. Minus the perfect girlfriend and perfect life part," Marissa told Ryan. Ouch. Ryan cringed slightly.

"But…" he started, but Marissa had already walked out of the kitchen. Was he going to let her walk out of his life, too?

***

"Hey," Ryan said, stepping into place with Marissa. 

She didn't answer. Eyes kept straight ahead, Ryan guessed that she was trying out the silent treatment. Hey, he had considered it a few times, too. I mean, that kiss had meant something. To him, at least. 

"Is something wrong?" Ryan decided to play the naïve card.

"Ryan," Marissa searched for the right words. But luckily she didn't have to. 

"Hey, babe," Grace joined her boyfriend and "friend". She kissed Ryan on the lips, at which Marissa wanted to gag. Instead, she noted that Ryan kept his eyes open the whole time and, surprisingly enough, they were focused on her.

"We've got," Grace consulted her Burberry watch, "two minutes to get to Harper's class, Ry."

"I'll see you around," Marissa waved, and ran off. _That_ was awkward. What was she supposed to say to Ryan? He was with Grace, even if his heart was elsewhere. But who was she to judge him? She didn't know anything about him. Just like he didn't know anything about her. And that night? Maybe it had been the moonlight…or some crazy thing like that.

Marissa tried to tell herself that the kiss meant nothing. Because if she didn't, she'd have to once again face reality: it did.

She walked down the hall to her next class, which she had with Seth. No one smiled at her. They were so unfriendly…maybe it was because they were pre-programmed robots. But then again, no one glared at her or looked down on her. So maybe no recognition _was _ a good sign. Finally spotting a familiar face…er, rather, a familiar hair-do, Marissa ran up to the boy.

"Seth!" Marissa exclaimed.

"Somebody's a little _too _excited to see me," Seth commented, but he couldn't help but grin at Marissa's eager face.

"You don't know how lonely it is here," Marissa admitted. "No one talks to me, besides you, Summer, Ryan, and Grace if she has to."

"That's not true," Seth protested, "Well…okay, so maybe I'm not _that_ lonely. But what about Grace and Summer's friends?"

"I never see them." 

"Hmm…" Seth scratched his chin as if deep in thought. "We'll have to do something about this. But let's go to class. Learning awaits!"

They walked off to class. Someone had saved Seth a seat, but one for Marissa as well. That, of course, made her feel better…just a teeny bit better. Okay, a whole lot better.

***

"Seth, wait up," Ryan yelled, running to meet his best friend. Seth turned around, searching for the caller of his name. 

"Hey, Ry," Seth said. "What's cooking?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Lame, Cohen, lame. Have you seen Marissa?"

Seth shook his head. "She went that-a-way," he crossed his arms and pointed them in the opposite directions.

"No really," Ryan said. "Have you?"

"Her and Summer went down to the pier. Something bout ice cream and the beach? Although that could mean a number of things, like getting ice cream at the mall and shopping for bathing suits. Or getting jobs at the beach selling ice cream. Or…"

Ryan cut in at this point. "I get the point. I highly doubt _Summer's_ getting a job. I doubt she'd even get one if her dad went bankrupt. _You_ would have to take over the bill-paying responsibilities."

Seth groaned dramatically. "As if I don't already?"

"I feel the crunch, man. Grace asks me go shopping with her so I can hold her bags, but I end up footing the bill too," Ryan nodded his head sympathetically. "Listen, I'm going to head down to the pier. Come with?"

"Nah, I think I'll pass. A nap sounds really good right about now," Seth yawned, as if to prove his point. "Give Summer my love…no, actually, don't do that. Because that would entail kissing her. Which you are, by the way, not allowed to do."

"Damn!" Ryan said. "I was _so_ looking forward to doing that."

"Later, man," Seth grinned, and walked across the quad to the parking lot. Ryan walked the other way, as his Range Rover was in the other parking lot. Him and Seth shared one Range Rover last year, but now that they were 17 and could drive without adults in the car, their parents had sprung for a new Range Rover for Ryan. Which led Seth to complain about how Ryan was the favored child. Which was ironic, seeing as Ryan was adopted and all. But the Cohens treated both of their boys with equal love and authority.  
  


Ryan got into the car and drove to the pier. He parked in front of this dumpy motel called the Mermaid Inn. It was starkly different compared to the other hotels around Newport. After bumping into a few friends from school, Ryan spotted Marissa and Summer, sitting on the steps to walk onto the beach. People had to walk practically on top of them to enter the beach area. Which was fine with those people, because the girls were so fine. 

"Summer, Marissa," Ryan waved, walking over to them. 

"Ryan!" Summer squealed, as if he were the greatest invention since sliced bread.

"Hey," Marissa said. She seemed to be in a better mood than before. Maybe it was PMS. Ryan knew that although this was quite possible, the more likely cause of her bad mood was him.

"Seth wanted me to give you his love. But not actually give it to you," Ryan told Summer. This generated a laugh from both girls. 

"Give him my love," Summer said, after hearing the story. "But don't, like, kiss him. That's my job."

The three of them laughed. But an awkward silence soon drifted in. Both girls were obviously waiting to hear why Ryan had made the trip down to the pier, looking for them. Now that Ryan was here, was he man enough to confront Marissa?

"Uh…Marissa? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Ryan asked, sticking his hands in his pockets. He was suddenly extremely self-conscious; that loose thread hanging from his shirt was taunting him now. 

"Sure, Ryan," Marissa replied sweetly. _Huh?_ Ryan started to walk away, then turned around, realizing that she wasn't following him.

"I meant alone," Ryan clarified. _Duh!_

"Oh," Marissa seemed genuinely sorry. But Ryan knew she was just messing with him. "I didn't realize that there was something you couldn't talk about in front of Summer."

She stood up, brushed the sand off of her butt, and followed Ryan. He stopped when they came to a spot not overrun with people. Looking out at the sparkling water, Ryan leaned on the banister.

"Well?" Marissa prompted, after a few moments of silence.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Ryan demanded. "Did that kiss mean nothing to you?"

After a second's hesitation, Ryan drew up the courage to say what had really been on his mind. "Because it meant a lot to me."

"Ryan…" Marissa's voice was soft, pleading with him. "I-- "

Whatever she was about to say, flew right out of her mind. Because her lips had found his and couldn't stand the distance. 

"Well," Ryan put his hand on her face, "I think that answered my question." Then he kissed her again.

That was it, Marissa promised herself. No more kissing Ryan. It was too dangerous. What if someone found out? Like, Rocky, a sweet guy who really seemed to like her. Or worse, Grace. It could happen. She'd already witnessed the effects of gossip on some of the girls in Summer's circle of friends. All that and she'd only been in Newport for a little while

***

"Marissa," Summer called, waving to her cousin. Marissa spotted Summer and walked over to the lunch table, setting her tray down across from her.   
  


"Hey," she smiled, opening the container of fruit salad on her tray and picking up her fork. 

"I've got to talk to you," Summer dropped her voice, eyes glancing around casually to see if anyone was close enough to hear what she was about to say. "I saw you kissing Ryan."

Shit. Marissa had totally forgotten about Summer's presence at the pier yesterday. "I think it was a big misunderstanding," she said, trying _extremely _hard to keep her cool.

"I don't think so," Summer said. "But you better make sure that I don't see you in a 'misunderstanding' again."

"It was wrong. But I couldn't help myself," Marissa bit her lip. So it was a bad habit. But she'd been sober for the past few days. If biting her lip was the worst habit on her list at the moment, she was doing well.

She realized what she had said, and prepared for another harsh comment from Summer. "I know what you mean. Look, don't tell anyone this, especially not _Grace_. But right before they started going out…I mean, they'd been dating casually for a while. Well, to make a long story short, Ryan and I hooked up," Summer confided. It was then that Marissa knew she could trust Summer. Because what Summer had just told Marissa was private information; it could ruin her relationship with Seth and Grace, and her reputation at Harbor.

"Consider your secret safe," Marissa said. Wow. Summer and Ryan. _That_ was something she never would have guessed. 

"It's a thing of the past, believe me. We were drunk and bored," Summer explained. "So, the mall sounds good this weekend!"

Marissa was confused as to why Summer had changed the subject so abruptly. 

"Hey," Rocky sat down at the table, next to Marissa. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Of course not," Marissa forced herself to smile. Why wasn't she tripping all over herself; she had this amazing guy that was _so_ into her!? Easy. And it was two syllables: Ry-an. 

Seth sat down next to Summer, and Tom on the other side of Seth.

"What's going on?" Seth asked. "I'm starved," he announced to no one in particular.

Summer laughed and patted his stomach. "I don't know how you eat so much and manage to stay so skinny."

"Look who's talking!" Seth smiled, taking a huge bite of his hamburger. He dipped a fry in ketchup and stuffed it in Summer's mouth. "Gotta put some meat on those bones."

"Seth, stop it," Summer giggled, mouth full of mashed fry.

"Yeah, Seth, stop it," Rocky snickered in high-pitched voice. "If not for her sake, then mine."

Ryan walked up to the table and took a seat on the free side of Marissa. There was only room for half his butt, so he nudged Marissa gently with his side. She and Rocky scooted down to make room for him.

Seth and Ryan kept up a witty banter for the remainder of lunch, with Summer butting into the conversation more than a few times. Actually, it was more like after every time someone made a comment. That was besides the point.

Marissa tried not to notice when Ryan's knee brushed against hers, she really did. But she couldn't _not_ notice that he didn't move it. 


	6. Are They Going to Pretend Forever?

On the Flip Side 

**Chapter Six: Are they going to pretend forever?**

**Disclaimer: **It might come as a shock…but I don't own the O.C.

**Summary:** Sure, we all know Ryan's "fish out of water" story. But what if Marissa was the fish out of water?

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them coming. Answering all of the requests to choose between the girls…don't worry. That should appear in the next chapter, along with a little Marissa butt-kicking action! And I'm sorry about the late update, I forgot my ff.net password and had to get a whole new one. I know I left this chapter off with hardly any R/M love, but next chapter will be chock full of it!

"What are you doing tonight?" Rocky asked, putting his hand over Marissa's.

"I don't know…I was thinking about catching a movie with someone. But it all depends on if they want to go with me," Marissa told him. So what if that _someone_ was Ryan? Ryan would probably not pick up on this, and Rocky would assume it was him.

"Really? Because I was planning on going to the movies too," Rocky grinned. He was falling for this girl more and more every day. She was fantastic. Everything about her was everything he'd always wanted in a girlfriend and more. 

"It's a date," Marissa decided, feeling slightly miserable when Ryan moved his knee away from hers. At the same time, she was happy. So he _was jealous_. Good. Maybe now he would get to thinking about what he was going to do. Because they couldn't keep kissing and acting like nothing ever happened.

"Not trying to break up your plans or anything," Ryan cut in, "but you promised me, Summer, and Seth that we could study for World History together tonight. The test is only in two days…and there's a hell of a lot more information than we can cram in one night."

Rocky groaned. "I forgot about that test. Shit."

Marissa's eyes narrowed. Two could play _that_ game, if that's what Ryan wanted. "Well, why don't you come over too, Rocky? You don't mind, do you, Ryan?"

The girl was slick, Ryan had to admit. "No, not at all," he lied. "Be at my place around six. We're ordering pizza, then hitting the books."

"Gotcha," Rocky winked. He stood up, bent down to kiss Marissa on the cheek, then said, "I have to run. I forgot to print my play for French. And you know how Ms. Badeau gets…"

The other boys left soon after, grumbling about cleaning their lockers or something. Marissa and Ryan were left sitting alone at the table.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Ryan asked angrily. "It was just supposed to be the four of us!"

"Chill, Ry," Marissa said calmly, "what's one more? Besides, Rocky's like, this incredible genius. I'm sure he'll be able to help _all_ of us."

"I get the same grades as him," Ryan protested, wanting Marissa to recognize his virtues as well.

"I'm sure you do," Marissa smiled, patting Ryan on the knee. Wait, what was that? Had she felt it too? Because Ryan had sure as hell felt the static electricity running through his leg when she touched it.

She stood up. "If you're worried about being the fifth wheel, just invite Grace. She's in the other World History class, but they've got the same test coming up."

Hmm…Ryan thought. Was the "enemy" aiding him? Whether it was a trick or not, Ryan fully intended to take Marissa up on her offer. He was getting more and more jealous by the hour. It was only fair that she experience her fair share of it.

As Marissa walked away, Ryan's eyes remained glued to her retreating figure. He was concentrating on her "assets" so intently that he didn't even notice when Grace came up and kissed him on the cheek. 

"Earth to Ryan," Grace giggled, waving her hand in front of his face. "What were you staring at?"

"What? Oh, hey babe. I spaced out for a minute there, sorry," Ryan hugged Grace and gave her a quick peck on the lips. He gently sucked her lower lip, leaving her begging for more. "Me, Seth, Summer, Marissa, and Rocky are having this study group thing tonight for the World History test. You wanna come? It's going to be like, a _couples_ thing."

Grace clapped her hands excitedly. "Ooh, sounds like fun! I'll be there. Your house?"

Ryan nodded. Just then, the two-minute bell rang. "I better get to class," he excused himself, and walked off towards French. 

"Marissa, will you get that?" Summer yelled from upstairs, where she was putting on makeup and doing her hair. Marissa wasn't quite sure why Summer kept a cabinet full of makeup at the Cohen house. She guessed that Summer always wanted to be prepared, you know, in case an eyelash fell out of place or something drastic. Seth was outside grilling hotdogs and hamburgers—a slight change in the menu—and Ryan was nowhere to be found.

"Got it," Marissa shouted back, running to the front door while trying to pin up her hair in a loose ponytail. 

"Hey," she greeted Grace, who, Marissa was pleased to see, was wearing sweatpants and a Harbor Hornets sweatshirt that was embroidered with her name in yellow. Marissa herself was wearing UCLA sweats and an I (heart) NYC t-shirt—courtesy of Summer.

"Hey," Grace greeted Marissa as if she hadn't seen her in a few weeks. After hugging her, she asked, "Where's Ryan?"

Marissa shrugged. "I haven't seen him. My guess is that he's helping Seth grill or being held hostage by Summer until he agrees to put the bronzer on again. 

Grace stared at her strangely after the last part. "Bronzer?"

Marissa felt slightly guilty, remembering that Grace hadn't been there the other night when Summer had attempted to give Seth and Ryan makeovers. Well, she succeeded with Seth…but Ryan could only be convinced to put on some bronzer. And the tiniest bit of concealer under his eyes. But that was besides the point.

"Never mind," Marissa said. "I think we're going to be in the poolhouse."

Grace walked outside while Marissa went back into the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie. Seth tells me you're seeing Rocky?" Kirsten Cohen smiled when she saw Summer's cousin. Even after all of those rumors of Marissa being this delinquent, Kirsten hadn't seen any signs of it—and had no reason to believe it. The girl was a total sweetheart. 

"I don't know if you would call it 'seeing', yet," Marissa replied. Kirsten noticed that she bit her lower lip after saying that. And there seemed to be a distant, troubled look in her eyes. Almost as if she was reluctant to become anything more than casual daters with Rocky.

"He's a nice boy," Kirsten said. He actually was. Everyone said that about Rocky. He'd even been voted Sweetest Guy in 9th and 10th grade. And he was a dead ringer for this year, too, even though the yearbooks hadn't come out. Seth had been voted Funniest Guy, while Ryan was Guy with the Prettiest Eyes. Those were both true, too. Summer, of course, had been voted Most Popular. While she limited her close group of friends to a mere handful, there was no doubt that Summer was friends with everyone who was _anyone._

"Yeah," Marissa shrugged. The doorbell rang, saving her from an increasingly awkward conversation with Kirsten. "I better get that."

"Hey, Rocky," Marissa slapped a smile on her face. Rocky bent down to kiss her. Another good thing about Rocky--he was tall. With him, she didn't have to worry about her height. She was nowhere near his 6"5 frame, at 5"8. 

"Is that pizza?" Rocky sniffed the air.

"Hotdogs and hamburgers," Marissa grinned. Hey, to top it all off, the guy had a sharp sense of smell. Could he pole vault, too?

She grabbed Rocky's hand and led him outside, where Summer, Seth, Ryan, and Grace were laughing over something.

"Rocky!" Seth yelled, extending his hand for a high-five. Rocky rolled his eyes at Seth, ignoring the hand. Seth slapped himself five, "the only person I can count on is myself," he huffed.

"I think the food is burning," Grace said, as smoke filled the air. 

"I think you're right," Seth yelped, running over to the grill with Ryan. Quickly they flipped all of the hotdogs and hamburgers onto a tray with a spatula. Grace and Summer choked dramatically, complaining that the boys couldn't cook. Marissa rolled her eyes. They were such drama queens.

After getting their food, the six sat down at the table by the pool to eat. 

"Shit, Seth, I never knew you could cook," Rocky grinned, taking a bite out of his hotdog.

Seth shrugged. "What can I say? Emeril doesn't hold a candle to me."

Laughing, Summer added, "Well…he's got his own TV show. And he's not destined for the Cohen eyebrows. Which is more than I can say for you."

"Summer, you know you love me, eyebrows or no eyebrows," Seth grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Beside them, Grace leaned over and kissed Ryan. Speaking of eyebrows, Marissa's shot up at this sight, and she turned to Rocky and shoved her tongue in his mouth. It wasn't as much fun with him, she had to admit. But Ryan was making her jealous, and she'd always learned to fight fire with fire.

"Can we get through dinner _without_ any making out?" Ryan asked, disturbed that Marissa was going at it with Rocky.

"Look who's talking," Summer snapped, pulling Seth's head towards her own. She kissed him for a second, and then pulled away. "_Now_ we can stop with the kissing, since it makes Ryan _so_ uncomfortable."

Ryan glared at her, but didn't say anything. In Ryan's case, less _was_ more. His friends never knew how he did it, but more could be said with one look by Ryan than a whole speech by Seth. 

Once they were done eating, it was study time. Well…it was time to get in studying before the _real_ studying took place: the study of one's body. 

"Here's an easy one, Grace. In 1492, blank sailed the ocean blue," Seth read aloud from his textbook. "I think we learned that song in third grade."

Squeezing her eyes shut as if the answer would pop out, Grace answered, "Washington."

Seth made a noise like a game show buzzer. "That is…incorrect. For 100 points, Marissa?"

"Christopher Columbus," she stated. God, Grace really _wasn't_ the sharpest tool in the shed. Besides, this was supposed to be the easy stuff, the information put on the test to ensure that students would get a _somewhat_ decent grade. 

"That is…correct! And Marissa takes the lead," Seth said in his best Bob Barker voice, which was, in fact, quite terrible.

"Seth, enough with the game shows. _Some_ of us want to learn the information we _don't_ know," Summer barked. 

Seth threw his hands up in the air. "I try to help…but apparently _you_ people don't need my help. I'm going upstairs to study. By myself."

Huffing, Seth grabbed his notebook and textbook and stomped up the stairs.

Summer sighed. "You guys are _so_ lucky you don't have to put up with _that_."

"Excuse me? I _live_ with him," Ryan retorted, grinning. "You should see him when we don't have company, if you think _this_ is bad."

"Whatever, Ryan. You can think you've got it worse. At least he doesn't start rambling nonsensically in the middle of sex with you!"

Rocky and Grace burst out laughing, while Marissa allowed a smile to pan out across her face.

"I don't know what Seth's been telling _you_, but we don't have sex," Ryan snapped. But even he could not refrain from cracking a smile. Pretty soon, the five of them were in hysterics. Marissa and Summer had tears in their eyes, while Ryan and Rocky were writhing on the floor. Laughing _that_ hard hurt. Grace clutched her stomach, tears streaming down her face. 

Summer sat up, wiping the tears off her face and biting her lip to stop laughing. "I should go check on him…"

Grace, still doubled over from laughter, said, "I could really go for a Balboa Bar." 

Marissa frowned. "What's a Balboa Bar?" And, more importantly, what planet was Grace on? 

Rocky raised his eyebrows. "You've _never_ had a Balboa Bar?" he asked incredulously. 

She shook her head. Grace whined, "Ryan, I really, _really_ want a Balboa Bar."

"Fine," Ryan shrugged, "I don't mind taking a break from studying. Anyone want to come with?"

"I will," Marissa offered nonchalantly. "I suddenly want to try one."

"I'll stay here. I really need the time to study. Grace, c'mere. Do you know what Totalitarianism is, and when it began?" Rocky gave Marissa a quick kiss on the cheek, and walked over to Grace.

Without kissing his girlfriend, Ryan grabbed his jacket and keys and walked out of the living room. Marissa followed. They got in the car without saying a word to one another, and this continued for the majority of the ride. Marissa finally got sick of the awkward silence.

"You seem content," she observed. 

"Do I really?" Ryan snorted. When it was just him and Marissa, there was no need for façades and fake cheerfulness. He could be truthful, at least about Grace.

Marissa shrugged. Come to think of it…he didn't seem _that_ happy. No one else had noticed it. But she saw those grim, almost frowning looks that he threw in Grace's direction every once in a while.

"Well, I'm not," Ryan stated.

"I could make you happy," Marissa found herself whispering. 

****


	7. Could This Be It?

On the Flip Side 

****

**Chapter 7: Could this be it?**

**Disclaimer: **It might come as a shock…but I don't own the O.C.

**A/N: **No, this is _not _the end of Ryan/Marissa…not that they ever were. And the butt-kicking action? Next chapter, I promise. I know, I promised last chapter too…but this one just got too long, and I didn't want to skip around too much. So the next chapter should be up in a few hours. I've got everything written, I just need to type it up. Wow! So many reviews! Thank you guys so much, you make writing worth it!****

Sis2ACesarSalad- thanks!! Glad you like it, and that it's in your favorite stories list. You made my day. Don't worry about Ryan, the whole thing is going to work out…eventually. Hey, nothing's ever as simple as it seems on the O.C.!

Lora- No offense taken. Thanks so much! I guess you cant judge a book by its cover. Yeah, I'm trying to put a lot of S/S moments in, because they are so cute and easy to write. The Summer/Ryan thing is not going to be an issue…it was just a way of Sum telling Marissa that the secret was safe with her.

Benzbabidoll- how's this for a fast update?! (not really…I was planning to post this two days ago but my computer got a virus..so, yeah. I'll try to post another chapter today to make up for it)

Natalie- I'm so happy you like it!

Theresa- thanks!!! That's an idea…I'll think about it. I've already got most of this story written/outlined. But I will take that into consideration, because I was kind of stuck on that one point of getting Ryan and Marissa together.

Ben lover—nah…not yet, anyway. They're going to get together soon…but not immediately. Expect more stolen kisses and whatnot.

Ryansosexy—aw thanks!! No, Grace isn't going to die (sorry) but she'll be out of Ryan's life in no time!

* * *

"Marissa," Ryan started, putting his hand over her slender one.

"You don't have to say anything," Marissa silenced him. She squeezed his hand.

Ryan parked and turned off the engine. He hopped out of the car, and before Marissa could even unbuckle, he'd opened the door for her. She smiled, realizing that he wanted to prove he could be a gentleman, just like Rocky.

"Two Balboa bars," Ryan told the woman at the ice cream stand, handing her a five.

"What about Grace, Rocky, Summer, and Seth?" Marissa asked, taking the ice cream bars from the woman's hand.

"We'll get theirs after we're done," Ryan told her, getting his change and taking his treat from Marissa.

They walked down the sand covered wood stairs to the beach. In a moment of bravado, Marissa took Ryan's hand, then thought better of it and stuck her hand in his back pocket. Ryan did the same.

"This _is_ really good!" Marissa said, taking a bite out of her ice cream.

"Mmhmm…" Ryan responded, stealing a chunk of Marissa's Balboa Bar.

"Hey!" she shoved him playfully. She leaned over to grab a piece of Ryan's ice cream, but he was too quick. Marissa bit the empty air and stumbled, falling on her butt into the sand. "Help me up."

As Ryan bent down to give her a hand, she yanked him over her feet, and he tripped as well. Soon two Balboa Bars lay covered in sand, forgotten by their owners.

"Get off of me!" Marissa shrieked, laughing as Ryan pinned her down. Ryan obliged, and rolled next to her. They laughed, realizing that their legs were still entwined with each others'. However, neither made an attempt to untangle them.

"Marissa…" Ryan began. Marissa positioned herself on top of him, laying her head on his chest. She could hear its heartbeat, and, unless she was going crazy, it was beating rapidly. Was he nervous about something? Of course he was. He was at the beach, in plain view, with a girl on top of him. That's no problem, right? Only the girl wasn't his girlfriend and the beach was a popular night hangout for the town's teens.

Marissa tried not to blink as a pair of strikingly blue eyes focused on her. "Yeah?" She whispered, inching her head up so that their noses were touching. She could feel his unsteady breathing on her pale face.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Ryan told her. "But we can't. This is hard…believe me, I want you. How can I do that to Grace, though?"

_It's easy_, Marissa wanted to say. _If you want me, you'll find a way to get rid of her. But apparently you don't want me that badly._ Instead, "I understand. It's not fair to _Grace._ I should go…" Slowly, she untangled her legs from his, and stood up. It was just languid enough to make Ryan practically salivate with lust.

"We came in one car," Ryan pointed out, not trying to sound too mean. He could tell she was upset, but did she not realize how hard it was for _him_? Marissa could have any guy she wanted…and a few had already expressed their interest. Ryan, he was taken and couldn't break away. He just couldn't. It was Grace, after all. There was a somewhat comforting appeal to her; they'd been dating since fifth grade.

"I'll go wait in it, then," Marissa crossed her arms and stalked off. Ryan sighed, walking back to the ice cream stand. Quickly, he paid for the bars and went to the car, thanking himself for remembering to keep the keys. Marissa seemed like the sort of girl to drive away with your car _and_ your heart. And God knows she'd already done one of those.

Silently, she took the bars from Ryan and held them, keeping quiet for the duration of the ride home. Ryan wanted to say something, anything, to it all better. But he couldn't. What would he say? He wanted Marissa, but if they were going to be, it couldn't be some secret liaison. It would have to be real and right, so the guilty feeling in his chest would dissolve.

They walked into the poolhouse to find Rocky sleeping and Grace attempting to play Mortal Kombat.

"I thought you guys were studying," Ryan said, handing a Balboa Bar to his girlfriend.

"We decided to take a break. Rocky can't handle _too_ much information at once," Grace giggled, cheering as she killed one of the characters on her team. "I'm really getting the hang of this game!"

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Here, I'll take those to Summer and Seth," she said, grabbing two ice creams out of Ryan's hands. "Wake Rocky up so he can have his before it melts, okay?"

She walked past the pool and into the main house, stopping to say hi to Sandy, who was in the kitchen with an apple pie. "I don't think Mrs. Cohen wants you to eat that. She told Seth to 'keep his grimy little hands away'," Marissa told Sandy.

"Marissa," Sandy shook his head, "when will she learn? Leaving a pie—especially one from the bakery—on the counter in the kitchen, is practically a gilded invitation to eat it. By the way, please call her Kirsten."

Marissa smiled. A certain bushy eyebrow-ed man was going to be in trouble later. She'd have to stick around. She walked up the stairs to Seth's room, knocking three times on the door. She'd been forewarned by Ryan to _always_ knock; Seth and Summer seemed to have problems keeping their clothes on when in such close proximity. Go figure.

"Come in," Summer yelled, as Marissa opened the door. Seth was sitting at the computer, Summer on his lap. Apparently he was showing her something on the Internet.

"We brought you guys ice cream," Marissa said, holding out the dripping treats. Seth and Summer eagerly grabbed them, muttering their thanks in-between mouthfuls of the heavenly sensation.

"Thanks, Marissa," Seth grinned, ice cream already on his nose. Summer laughed and wiped it off with her finger, then sucked on her finger.

"I'll be downstairs…" Marissa told them, as they launched into an ice cream fight. She didn't particularly want to stick around for _that_. Things could get messy…

Walking down the stairs, Marissa heard one loud, strident voice and a low, soothing voice coming from outside. Keeping out of sight, she crept closer to the doors leading to the backyard.

"Ryan, I'm serious," Grace shrilled.

"I can't do that, Gracie, she's my friend," Ryan sighed. Marissa had a feeling they were talking about her.

"I don't want you hanging out with her, Ry. It's obvious she's got a huge crush on you."

Marissa imagined Grace pouting and Ryan running his hands through that soft hair of his.

"Look, Grace, you want me to just _stop_ talking to her? That's really not fair to either of us…" Marissa knew that Grace was getting to Ryan, cracking him underneath. "Fine, you know what? Fine. You tell her that I can't hang out with her anymore, because you're being a jealous, worrisome girlfriend. _Then_ I won't hang out with Marissa, okay?"

The footsteps got louder as Ryan walked inside. Quickly, Marissa ran into the kitchen and flung open the fridge. And not a moment too soon; Ryan walked in and sighed when he saw the classic beauty. Did he mention, the one that stole his heart?

"Hey," Marissa smiled, pretending she hadn't just heard Ryan's girlfriend forbidding him to talk to her. "I was thirsty."

Ryan gulped and allowed himself to nod. "I—uh…this isn't easy for me to say, Marissa. But,"

Marissa cut in at this point. There was no point in hearing _him_ repeat Grace's words, especially after she'd already heard them. "Save it, Ryan. I overheard you and Grace talking. We can't be friends anymore, I know."

Agape, Ryan started angrily, "So you were eavesdropping on me and my girlfriend?"

"No. I was walking back out to the poolhouse, you know, that place you invited me to tonight? And I heard you guys talking. It was kind of hard not to; Grace's got such a high-pitched voice," Marissa snapped. So this was what he did? Instead of focusing on the fact that he couldn't stand up to his girlfriend, Ryan was trying to lay the blame on her? For something totally unrelated to their friendship? _That_ was bullshit.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that," Ryan warned. Was he really having this fight with Marissa? It was their first fight. God, now was _so_ not the time for that. "And just so you know, we were never friends. We never could've been _just_ friends."

What the hell did _that _mean?

"That's it, then," Marissa mumbled, grabbing a Sprite from the fridge and closing it. "See you."

"See you," Ryan spoke softly, but she was already gone. Again.

* * *

Ryan shifted his books from one hip to the other. Normally, he'd carry them in his backpack, but the strap had snapped this morning from the heavy load. He spotted Marissa walking along the quad, and hurried to catch up with her.

"Marissa," he called. She turned around, golden-brown hair astray. God, she was beautiful, Ryan thought. "Wait up."

Putting her hand on her hip, Marissa adjusted the Chanel bag on her shoulder. It had been an early birthday gift from Summer's father, who insisted that she accept the overpriced tote.

"Hey," Ryan said, twisting his arm to stop the math textbook from falling. It fell, naturally, and both he and Marissa bent down to pick it up.

"I've got it. Besides, your hands are full," Marissa pointed out. Ryan bent forward to grab his planner, which was open. "I'll get it." Marissa snatched the planner from the grass before Ryan could pick it up. She flipped open to a page as if interested in Ryan's daily schedule. Wait…what was that circled in red pen?

"I…uh," Ryan, not surprisingly, was at a loss for words.

But instead of the _Why do you care when my birthday is and why'd you circle it_ interrogation he expected, "How did you know when my birthday was?"

Ryan grinned sheepishly. "I asked Summer for it…You know, I like to keep track of my friends' birthdays."

Ugh. There was that word. _Friends_. And Ryan had said it himself. He and Marissa could never just be 'friends'. _That_ much was clear. But did this mean he was ready to drop the girl he'd been dating since…forever? Marissa didn't think so. Besides, as much as she lacked in brains, Grace had in guile and cunning. Marissa knew that Grace wouldn't give Ryan up without a fight. Ryan wasn't even ready to give up Grace. So forget that.

"Oh," Marissa decided not to press further. "Here's your English journal." She handed Ryan the black spiral notebook, trying hard not to look him in the eye. Which was really hard to do, considering his lips were just centimeters away from hers.

"Ryan?" Grace squealed, interrupting what could've been. Marissa sighed and stood up, straightening her jean skirt. It wasn't meant to be, she reasoned. Otherwise, Grace would be out of the way and interruptions wouldn't be so commonplace.

"Hey, Grace," Ryan hoped his face lit up when he saw her, because he and Marissa weren't…they couldn't… "I dropped my books, and Marissa was nice enough to help me pick them up."

"I try," Marissa shrugged. "So, Grace, we're on for this weekend?"

"Totally. I can't believe you've never been to Fashion Island. And we _so_ have to go to L.A. You're going to _love_ Fred Segal," Grace gushed.

"Wait…you two have plans?" Ryan asked, putting two and two together.

"Um, yeah," Grace said. "We're, like, friends now. It was all a big misunderstanding, really. I thought Marissa liked you so I didn't like her. But turns out, she's been _really_ into Rocky the whole time. Go figure!"

Ryan studied Marissa's face. The girl was shrewd; he'd give her props for that. But to make friends with Grace? How were they ever supposed to have a chance now? Ryan shook his head, causing both girls to stare at him strangely. Why was he thinking that? Marissa seemed to be okay with their relationship, why shouldn't he be happy? No more confusing thoughts over Marissa, Ryan told himself, knowing full well that this would be impossible.

"Oh, and Ryan? We're having a party for Marissa's birthday at Summer's house on Saturday night," Grace added. "I've got to run…tutoring session with Mrs. McGraw," she made a face.

After Grace walked off, Ryan turned indignantly to Marissa. "You weren't going to invite me to your birthday party."

"Yes, I was," Marissa lied. "Okay, so I wasn't. I figured it wasn't my place to ask. After all, Grace is your girlfriend and therefore your date."

"Whatever. I've got to get to class. You coming?" Ryan asked. Marissa sighed, threw her hands up in the air, and followed Ryan to the building.

"Here, let me carry that," she insisted, grabbing Ryan's math textbook before he could complain.

"You really weren't going to invite me," Ryan repeated, receiving a playful slap on the arm from Marissa. "I'll take that as a no."

**A/N: **So, like I said, this was longer than I intended, so the interesting bits are going to be in the next chapter. And expect more Rocky, Summer, and Seth as well. Review!


	8. How's This For a Birthday?

On the Flip Side

**Chapter 8: How's this for a birthday?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C.

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews! I love all of you guys! By the way, Ryan hasn't given Marissa her birthday present yet. Next chapter, she'll be getting it. Sorry to disappoint you, but I wanted to get this out quickly.

Sis2ACesarSalad—in the author's note, I said that I had to postpone it to this chapter. Expect some R/M lovin' as you read. But they're not getting together..yet.

Winterrose—Rocky is coming back. Woo! I actually like the guy, he's not bad, he just gets in the way of R/M. Rocky may be the Luke of the story…you'll have to find out, it could be someone unexpected! Luke will be making an appearance soon too, but he's not who you think he is…

Reviewer—glad it's one of your favorites. Here's your update!!

Ben lover – the r/m moments are some of my fave to write. Yes, the birthday party. It was all leading up to this anyway. Hope the butt-kicking action meets your approval.

Theresa- I try to make the new characters somewhat like the old ones. So yeah, Grace has a bit of Summer in her. Let's just say she's not hooking up with Seth, though.

LORA- no problem. I can tell we're both HUGE r/m fans. Don't worry, they're not getting together _soon _soon, but they'll be having their share of moments. Wink, wink. And it's going to be special (the present) I think…just read. Thanks, the story's only awesome b/c of great reviewers like you!

Ryansosexy- yeah, they are, aren't they? Aww, that really means a lot to me! You seriously made my day!

Lala456—this is your lucky day! This chapter has a bit more about her drug use and everything.

HOTTERTHNU- I will try to make longer chapters, I just feel like too much goes on in them when they're REALLY long. But just for you, I'll make an effort to move the story along faster. Aw, thanks. It makes me feel special that you think I have a knack for writing them, because you're such a great writer.

On with the story…

"Marissa, will you get that?" Summer yelled over the music, drink in hand.

Marissa gave her the thumbs up and went to the door.

"Hey," she slurred, slinging her arm around Rocky. "It's my birthday."

"No way," Rocky feigned shock. "You mean _that's _what this party is for?"

"Duh. This is a _birthday_ party, Rocky," she said, not hinting the sarcasm. Rocky kissed her on the lips, and Marissa suddenly went limp in his arms. "Damn," he said, "I knew I was seductive, but I didn't know I was _that _powerful." Obviously he was joking.

Urgently, he shook Marissa, who soon snapped back to her normal state.

"You just blacked out for a second," Rocky told her.

Marissa tried to shrug it off. "It's no big deal, really. I've had worse happen."

"What did you drink?" Rocky asked, starting to get worried. He'd heard the rumors, but was never sure whether or not to believe them.

"A little bit of vodka, maybe half a bottle of banana rum," Marissa breathed. Funny, Rocky hadn't noticed _how_ much her breath reeked of banana before.

"That it?" Rocky asked, tucking a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Nope," Marissa giggled. "I had some tequila."

"How much is _some_?" Rocky wrapped his arm around Marissa, leading her into the living room, where most of the kids where.

"This much," Marissa gestured with her arms, spreading them really far apart. "Just kidding." She brought them closer together. Rocky gulped. If Marissa was being serious, she'd had enough tequila to knock a normal person into unconsciousness.

"Why don't we sit down?" Rocky led Marissa to the cream colored couch, which probably wasn't the best color scheme Summer's stepmom could've chosen. After all, it was a known fact that Summer had wild parties every time her parents were out of time. Which was, like, every weekend.

"I'm going to go get you some water. Hang tight, okay?" Rocky made sure Marissa was situated on the couch, and that she wasn't laying on her stomach. He didn't want her throwing up and choking on her vomit, disgusting as it was.

As Rocky walked away, Summer, Ryan, and Seth walked up.

"Hey, Marissa, I know we've been together, like, all day, but I wanted to say happy birthday. I love you," Summer murmured, kissing her cousin on the cheek.

"Love you too," Marissa whispered.

"I bet this party is better than any birthday you've ever had before," Seth said, hugging Marissa.

With that, Marissa's face seemed to crumble. "Last birthday," she sniffed, "Josh Gro—"

"Shh, sweetie, you don't have to talk about it," Summer shot a warning look at Seth.

Marissa began to cry, loudly. Grace and a few of her friends started to walk over, obviously concerned, but Summer motioned for them to stay away. Marissa became limp again. "Seth, Ryan, help me get her upstairs," Summer ordered. Ryan swept Marissa up in his arms before Seth could bother helping, weakling that he was. Rumor had it that Summer had wrestled—and defeated—Seth on occasion.

Once they'd gotten Marissa upstairs and into Summer's bedroom, they carefully laid her down on the bed.

"Josh…why did you do it? I thought I could trust you," Marissa began to kick the bed with her legs and beat the pillows with her fists. Summer sat down on the bed, causing it to sag a little. She took Marissa's hand in hers and gently rubbed circles across her palm.

"Who's Josh?" Seth asked, quite curious. Summer shot him a look of pure contempt, and that shut him up, fast.

Ryan stood there, hands in pockets, not sure of what he could say or do. Obviously this Josh kid had hurt Marissa—whether it was emotionally or physically, he couldn't tell.

It didn't really matter. Ryan wanted to beat the kid to a pulp, right then and there. How dare he hurt Marissa to the point of bawling!

Just then a loud crash emanated from below the bedroom. Seth and Summer exchanged stricken looks. "I should go check on that…" Summer said, eyes growing round with worry. "Marissa, will you be okay if I leave you here with Ryan?"

"I'll be fine, I'm fine right now, honestly, Sum," Marissa coughed and tried to stand up, but could barely swing her legs over the side of the bed to a sitting position.

"I don't bite, Summer," Ryan retorted. He and Summer exchanged worried glances, then Summer and Seth ran out of the room.

"Ryan, why did he do it?" Marissa wailed, tugging on the bottom of Ryan's shirt. Ryan felt compelled to sit down and comfort the girl.

"Sometimes, when people love you, they hurt you, even though they don't mean to," Ryan fed her the line, which they both knew was bullshit. Even in her altered state of mind, Marissa could see past this.

"You don't understand," Marissa whimpered, "He—Josh, he rape—"

By this point Ryan had had enough. If she talked any more about Josh, Ryan was going to hunt him down and kill him. "Shh, baby, it's okay. You don't have to say it. What Josh did was wrong."

Marissa looked at Ryan's blurred image. His eyes were pools of blue, and Marissa couldn't see the emotion caught up in that spidery web of cobalt. Had he just called her _baby_?

"I love you Ryan," Marissa whispered. Ryan's hand found the small of Marissa's back, and began to trace letters on her shirt.

"This is hard for me," Ryan said, preparing to turn Marissa down once again. But this time he couldn't. His lips just fell into place on hers.

"Marissa, are you okay?" Ryan and Marissa froze, hearing Grace's voice on the other side of the door. Before they could untangle their limbs, Grace and Rocky had entered.

"Oh my god!" Grace screamed. "Marissa, you promised. You said you didn't want him. How could you?"

And before any of them knew it, Marissa had lunged at Grace.

"He came onto me, you idiot," Marissa screamed, grabbing a handful of Grace's golden tresses.

"I don't believe you," Grace yelled back, digging her nails into Marissa's arms.

"Stop it!" Ryan snapped, grabbing Grace by the arms and restraining her. Grace did the whole helpless girl thing pretty well; she stopped fighting as soon as Ryan drew her in closer to him. Rocky held back Marissa; she continued to fight, until, realizing her escape was futile, began to breathe heavily.

"I'm drunk," Marissa announced to no one in particular. "I mean, really, really drunk. Have you ever been drunk like me? You've got to mix your drinks, don't pay attention to what's going in, or it isn't as fun. And wash it down with a few pills, for kicks."

"Shit, Marissa, do you know what you're doing to yourself?" Rocky asked sharply.

"Rocky, don't start," Ryan warned, but Marissa had already broken down again. She collapsed in Rocky's arms, sobbing hysterically. Sighing, Ryan let go of Grace and the two of them approached Marissa. Grace gingerly hugged Marissa.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I guess I deserved that."

"You're right," Marissa spat, kissing Grace on the cheek. She gently slapped the blonde girl. "Just a little dumb sometimes."

"Want me to get you some ice?" Grace offered, gaping, horrified, at the bright red marks forming on Marissa's arms. Marissa nodded, and slumped down Rocky's body. She curled up on the floor at his feet. Rocky looked bewildered, so Ryan decided to take charge. He picked up Marissa and placed her on the bed, stomach up.

"I'll go with you, Grace," Rocky rushed out the room. Marissa was surprised at his behavior. She had figured he was used to getting majorly wasted, or at least seeing his friends like this. Obviously she wasn't aware of just _how_ wasted she was.

Ryan sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry about Grace," he whispered, wiping away a tear on Marissa's rosy cheek.

"She loves you," Marissa whispered, on the verge of drifting off into dreamland. "I love you."

"Shh," Ryan pleaded. Marissa looked so…vulnerable. He wanted to whisk her away to fantasyland. Of course, he couldn't, seeing as their significant others, if you will, were coming back soon.

"I don't want to hurt anyone. I only hurt myself," she explained, and then began to hum softly. Ryan couldn't make out the tune, but Marissa had a sweet, melodic voice. "Have you ever smoked?"

Ryan nodded, as Marissa cracked her eyelids open a bit. "No, I mean, have you smoked pot? Or taken Ecstasy?"

Ryan shook his head at the more specific question. He'd never done drugs in his life, and didn't want to.

"I have. Promise me, Ryan, promise me you won't ever do drugs," Marissa became solemn, and Ryan actually thought she was being serious. "Promise me," she pleaded, her voice becoming more urgent.

"I won't," Ryan kissed the top of Marissa's head. Her fine, wispy hair was baby-soft, just like he'd always imagined it would be.

Again, tears threatened to inundate Marissa's face; already they'd taken over her troubled eyes. "I almost died," she confided, "and no one ever cared."

Now Ryan was the one ready to explode with emotion. He and Marissa had never really talked about her past. Learning about it, Ryan was pretty sure he knew why Marissa never wanted to talk about it.

He leaned his head against the headboard, ignoring the thump that sounded.

What was he going to do? __


	9. Will This Night Never End?

On the Flip Side

**Chapter 9: Will this night never end?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C.

**A/N: **Hope you like this chapter; it's one of my shortest. The next chapter will be fast-forwarding a little bit. Sorry if this one isn't up to par, I did my best…Thanks for the reviews, guys!

**Winter rose**—Thanks! Glad you like Rocky. Don't worry; he's not going to be the major "villain" in the story…

**Theresa**—Aw! You're so sweet.

**Natalie**- Marissa's past is going to be explored in later chapters, and it's definitely going affect her life and the lives of those around her…I kind of like the new Marissa too. I've only just realized who I've made her to be. When I first started, I set out to make her someone else, but I like who she's become.

**LORA**- thanks so much. Here's the next chapter, read on to find out what Ryan's next move will be. Plus the consequences…

**Sis2ACesarSalad**—Glad you liked it. Read for the answers to most of your questions…

**Reviewer**- Thanks so much! If there's anything you feel I can improve, feel free to tell me. I want all the chapters to be "really good". Wow, two reviews for one chapter J I'm excited. Hopefully you'll like what Ryan got her; it's going to have an effect on major events in the rest of the story. (i.e.: the possible downfall of Grace/Ryan)

**Katieshaz**—thank you so much! I'm so happy people actually like it. Sorry to hear about your virus thing, hope you feel better soon! Glad my story is keeping you occupied.

**Lala456**- Wow! Thank you so much, I try to make them realistic but I'm never quite sure if I'm doing a good job. I know now. One of my best friends used to hurt herself, and it was a really terrifying experience she went through. Happy to hear that you're not doing it anymore—it really does ruin your life and those around you.

**Benzbabidoll**-Thanks!! Read on to find out what happens…

**Carpanthers21**—Thanks! If you read on, I'm going to explain why Grace comforted her…hint hint, it has to do with something Grace herself did in the past…It also has to do with Grace's IQ, if you catch my drift…

**Ben lover**—Aw, you're making me blush. Yeah, their relationship is going to be long and drawn out—ish…lol, yeah, drunk Marissa is very truthful and to the point. I'm going to try and update every day, I have the chapters they just need to be typed and detailed…

**Tai**-Thanks! Here you go…

On with the story…

Rocky and Grace opened the door, announcing their presence once again. This time, Ryan didn't quickly shove Marissa away. He sat there with her head in his lap, holding her hand tightly.

"Ryan, let me take it from here," Grace ordered. Ryan complied, scooting over so Grace could tend to Marissa's scratched arms.

"Why are you doing this?" Marissa asked, wincing as Grace put an ice pack on her arm. "You should hate me. I would hate me, if I found my friend hitting on my boyfriend."

Just as Ryan had done only moments before, Grace smoothed Marissa's hair out. "Marissa," Grace explained, "I don't hold grudge matches."

Ryan rolled his eyes. Grudge matches? Why hadn't he seen this side of Grace before? The side with no brains…or was that both sides?

"Besides," she continued, "you're drunk, and Rocky and Ryan look similar. So duh, you confused Ryan for Rocky. How could I be mad at you?"

Marissa shrugged, teeth chattering slightly. "It's cold in here," she complained. "And Grace isn't mad at me."

Rocky, who had been standing awkwardly by the door, came over to the three. "Let me talk to her for a minute, alone," he said to Grace and Ryan. "You can come back in a second."

With one last longing glance, Ryan allowed himself to be led out of the room by Grace. She shut the door behind him, and began to plant kisses all over his neck. "I love you, Ryan," Grace murmured. Ryan didn't know what to say, honestly. So he just wrapped Grace in his arms and held her.

If only she knew…

"Marissa," Rocky said, lying down next to her on the bed, "do you like Ryan? Tell me the truth."

She twisted her body so she was facing Rocky. "No, I don't like him," she said smoothly. "I like you."

Rocky chose to believe her. She'd given him no reason not to…except her kissing Ryan, but she was drunk. And possibly high. Did he mention she was _really_ drunk? He leaned over, kissing her. She tasted like banana rum, and a bit of Jack Daniel's. At least that's what Rocky thought she tasted like; he wasn't a big drinker himself.

"I've got a special birthday present for you," he mumbled between kisses.

"What? Where?" Marissa managed to pick her head up and look around, as if expecting a clown to pop out of the closet any second now.

"Tomorrow," Rocky promised, silencing Marissa's protests with a kiss. "I've got to take you there, first."

"You're sweet," Marissa announced. "And you like me."

"That, I do," Rocky owned up. "I bet a lot of guys do, too."

And Marissa's lower lip started to tremble again, "Josh…Josh…he said he liked me, loved me. How could he? Would you?"

Clearly bewildered, Rocky said, "Marissa, I would never do that to you."

The tears still stood their place, ready to cascade down Marissa's cheeks when the time called. Rocky didn't know what to do. So he opened the door to Summer's room, causing Grace and Ryan to stumble into the doorway. They'd been _getting friendly_, and weren't too happy to have been disturbed.

"Marissa," Rocky explained, "she's crying again."

He gave Ryan a look that said 'help me' as the two ran into the vibrant pink room. Marissa was huddled on the bed, head in her knees, shaking uncontrollably.

"Sweetie," Grace attempted, but began to rub Marissa's back when she realized it was pointless. Marissa needed to cry; God knows how long she'd been holding those tears in.

"I think she could use some fresh air," Ryan piped up suddenly. The whole time, he'd been sitting at Summer's desk, spinning in the rolling chair. "Marissa, do you want to go for a walk?"

Still trembling, Marissa nodded. "I would go," Grace said, "But I've got to stay with Summer and help get this party under control." As if on cue, the sound of glass shattering could be heard from the hallway. Angry voices screamed at each other with horribly slurred curse words.

"Ryan, why don't you take her?" Rocky suggested, as if to prove to himself, and Marissa, that he believed her and Ryan's relationship to be placid.

Ryan shrugged. "You don't need me to help settle the party?" he asked Grace.

She stood on tiptoe to kiss Ryan, and shook her head. "I think with me, Summer, and Rocky, we'll have it under control in no time."

"Come on, Marissa," Ryan said, extending his hand. When she remained balled up on the bed, he scooped her up in his arms. And without a complaint, Ryan noted.

They slipped out the back door unnoticed, much to Ryan's relief. The last thing he needed were a bunch of his drunk friends seeing him and a girl other than Grace leaving the party, even though Grace had approved.

"Put me down," Marissa, who had been flitting in and out of consciousness, was apparently awake.

As soon as Ryan unwrapped Marissa's arms from around his neck and gently set her down, she curled up into a fetal position on the stone path. Sighing, Ryan picked her up again.

"Put me down," Marissa repeated, this time more urgently.

"Only if you promise to walk this time," Ryan gave in, and to his delight (and disappointment) Marissa began walking.

Their feet hit the dunes, and Ryan reached into his pocket and fingered the robin's egg blue box. Was it too much? Ryan wasn't sure, but he wanted Marissa to know that he wanted them to be. And that they _would_ be, eventually. Or at least she'd know he kept her close to his heart.

"I got you a present," Ryan started, "just a little something."

"For me?" Marissa asked, swaying slightly on the uneven ground.

Ryan steadied her, and led her over to a group of people gathered around a bonfire. When they were close enough to be swathed in the dancing sparks but far enough that they were private, Ryan gently pushed Marissa down on the sand. He withdrew the box from his pocket, unsure if this was the right thing to do or not. It was too late now, Ryan figured. He'd already bought the gift, stuck it in his pocket, and before he knew it he was placing it in Marissa's outstretched hands.

Ryan's heart leapt like the flames from the bonfire as he saw the anticipation spread on Marissa's face when she saw the blue box with its white satin ribbon.

"Ryan," Marissa murmured, carefully untying the bow. "You didn't have to…you shouldn't have."

"I wanted to," Ryan left it at that. And it was enough, really.

"Ohmigosh, Ryan." Marissa was close to tears. The perfect single tear slipped past her eye and ran its course down her cheek. Then Ryan knew he'd done well. _Really _well.

Silently he thanked Kirsten for sending him and Seth to etiquette school when they were fourteen. Mrs. Johansson had taught him how to pick out the perfect gift, among other things, such as how to be a gentleman. Ryan was pretty sure he'd mastered both.

Lying in Marissa's palm was one of those silver Tiffany bracelets, part of the sets all the girls received from their boyfriends or best girl friends for their Sweet 16's.

"Look at it closely," Ryan instructed. Marissa complied, and suddenly their bodies were _very_ close. Ryan could feel the heat of Marissa's body…or was it the fire? He wasn't so sure.

On the bracelet were the words:

_R & M_

A tiny, flowing heart had been engraved underneath.

Although ecstatic at the special, sincere gift, Marissa was a bit disappointed that it wasn't more personal. She understood Ryan's reasoning; he had a serious girlfriend and it would be dangerous to write out his whole name.

With hesitating lips Ryan connected to Marissa. She let the bracelet fall with a clink back into the box; her hands were now free to roam elsewhere. Wrapping her arms around Ryan's neck, Marissa forgot about all of her problems and let her hormones run rampant.

Responding to Marissa's cries of pleasure, Ryan slowly left a trail of heat down Marissa's neck until he'd reached her collarbone. Then he began to plant a neat little row of kisses across her shoulders. She moaned with contentment; and Ryan knew he'd found one of her sweet spots. He was sure there'd be more…in other places.

Suddenly there were blue and red lights flashing in Ryan's eyes, and he was pretty sure they weren't the fireworks people talked about when they were in love.

Flashlight shining in his eyes, Ryan squinted. There, standing before him, was a police officer. Had he done something wrong?

"Get outta here," the officer grumbled. Ryan grabbed Marissa's hand, making sure she had the Tiffany box secured in her other hand. He hadn't noticed before, but the beach was strangely dark. Ryan's guess was that the officers had come to break up the little bonfire on the beach, and caught them in the process.

It was funny, he and his friends went there frequently after dark, and had never—not even once—been kicked off even when the beach was supposedly closed. There was another moment with Marissa—ruined.

They crept up the path that led to Summer's neighborhood. Right before they got to the gate, which would take them back into Summer's backyard, Marissa rested her hand on Ryan's shoulder, sending delicious shivers down his spine.

"Ryan, I just want to say thank you," Marissa admitted. "For a great birthday. The best I've ever had, truthfully."

Opening his mouth to say something, Ryan found an obstacle: Marissa's tongue. Grinning, and wanting to savor the moment that couldn't last forever, Ryan explored her mouth for one last time that night. Then, taking her by the hand, Ryan prepared to go back to Summer's house. Back to Grace, and back to a suddenly dull life with Marissa by his side.

"Sorry about earlier…I was overreacting," Marissa whispered. For some reason they had always communicated in whispers…Ryan didn't know why, but it felt devious to him. And devious was good, in _this _case. Besides, in Newport, money wasn't the only thing that talked. Walls, fences, no one was safe from their secrets and the secret lives of their neighbors and friends.

"No," Ryan affirmed, "You weren't." Suddenly he was angry, really, _really_ angry. That Josh kid was toast, if Ryan and his cronies ever happened upon him.

They walked along the stone pathway to Summer's back door.

"You ready?" Ryan asked. They both knew that nights like these would be rare. Marissa shook her head but forced herself to open the door. She peeked her head in, and saw a _very_ disturbing sight.

"Actually," she said, quickly shutting the door before Ryan could see, "Let's go back. I mean, not to the beach, but somewhere, anywhere. Just not _here_."

"Why?" Ryan asked, trying to push past Marissa and open the door himself. "We should probab—oh…"


	10. Why is Everything Starting to Fall Apart...

**On the Flip Side**

**Chapter 10:** Why is everything starting to fall apart? 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews, guys. Not commenting on them this time…except for one, because this chapter is kind of long. Sorry about the late update, I know it's not much of an excuse…but the grandparents came into town for a surprise visit and I was banned from the computer from Friday to Sunday night…

**Diablo17-**I was looking over my notes last night and realized this too. So now I'm making an effort to put more of Marissa's past in the story, to show that she's not just going to assimilate into Newport society so easily. Tell me if I'm doing an okay job. It will become more clear in the next chapter—you'll see.

Enjoy, and as always, don't forget to review!

"Ryan," Grace jumped up, pushing Rocky away. Lurching toward him in a drunken stupor, she tried to hug Ryan but grabbed thin air. Ryan ran out the back door and thudded down the stone path. "Wait, Ryan, I can explain…"

Rocky threw Grace her shirt, which she gratefully accepted, untidily shoving over her head. Barefoot, she ran after Ryan, something Marissa thought was incredibly foolish.

Rocky quickly shoved on his pants, turning his back to Marissa as he hooked the belt. Surprisingly, she was still standing there once he was done. Even though Rocky and Marissa weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, Rocky felt totally guilty and somewhat obligated to give Marissa an explanation.

"You're drunk," Marissa observed. If Rocky hadn't been drunk, he would've laughed at Marissa's comment. She found herself so smart when drunk, even while pointing out the obvious.

"I'm sorry," he offered. "It just kind of…happened."

Marissa ignored Rocky's advances but allowed herself to be enveloped in a hug.

What was she doing here?

Already she'd hooked up with her friend's boyfriend, and been cheated on by her somewhat boyfriend.

Marissa could _definitely_ get into less trouble where she was from.

"Ryan, wait," Grace yelled. Ryan stopped in his tracks. He seemed to be tired—dead tired—yet showed no emotion on his face. "Ryan, I love you."

"Really? So you loved me when you were practically having sex on the couch with Rocky?" Ryan yelled, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He knew it wasn't entirely fair, seeing as he and Marissa had just been doing the same thing. But one thing Ryan had was pride. And he wasn't about to admit his escapade to Grace.

So that wasn't fair, at all. He could forgive and forget…Grace seemed to do a lot of that anyway.

"You know what?" Ryan asked, stepping closer to Grace. He could smell her coconut shampoo and strawberry lip-gloss. "Let's just put it all behind us. Everything that happened tonight, I mean."

"Really? Um, okay. I promise I'll never do it again," Grace giggled as Ryan moved closer to her. He kissed her softly on the lips, trying to enjoy the moment, but his mind was stuck on another girl.

Marissa.

"Marissa, I can explain," Rocky said. Marissa turned her back on him, arms crossed, and through the French doors she could see Ryan and Grace kissing. Furious at Ryan's sudden change of heart, Marissa turned around.

"We both made mistakes tonight, I know. Can we just forget about them and move on? I like you, and I don't want to screw up this whole Newport thing. Because Chino's not exactly welcoming right now," Marissa said. Rocky smiled, and drew her in closer…

Later that night, Summer and Seth were up in her bedroom doing God knows what. Marissa glanced around at the guestroom. She supposed it was her bedroom now. She took one final look, and turned off the lights, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

After grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator, Marissa let herself out the front door and disappeared into the night.

* * *

"You want me to go wake Marissa up?" Seth asked. Summer was making eggs and had swatted at Seth's hands when he'd wrapped his arms around her and begun to kiss her neck.

"That'd be great," Summer said, taking her eyes off the eggs for a second to peck Seth on the lips.

Seth ran up the stairs and knocked on Marissa's closed bedroom door. Assuming she was still asleep, Seth opened the door and found an empty room. There was no Marissa.

He spied a piece of Summer's rose colored stationary on the desk, and grabbed it.

_Summer- _

_I had to get away and clear my mind. I'll be back before Ashley and your dad come back from their trip._

_Xx Marissa_

"Sum?" Seth yelled, running down the stairs with the pink note in hand.

He handed her the note and watched as she read it.

"Shit. I bet this has to do with Ryan and Grace," Summer groaned. "She better get back soon. My parents are coming back tomorrow morning."

"Wait…what about Ryan and Grace?" Seth asked, stealing a piece of bacon from the frying pan, then wincing as it burned his tongue.

"Marissa likes Ryan, and thinks he likes her. But then there's Gra—" Summer trailed off, looking alarmed. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"What?" Seth screeched.

"Shut up, Cohen," Summer snapped, and as Seth opened his mouth in response, she silenced him with a kiss.

"Okay," Seth agreed amiably, after Summer ended the kiss. "Forgotten."

Not wanting to leave the house, in case Marissa returned, Seth and Summer decided to spend the day lounging by Summer's pool. Summer brought out a timer so she could get an even tan, and proceeded to bake in the sun. Seth opted to lie on a clear orange float, alcoholic pina colada in his hand. He wore the sunglasses Summer had bought him, and soon fell asleep.

Apparently Summer fell asleep too, because Seth was jarred out of a pleasant afternoon nap by a big splash of water.

"What the—Oh hey, Ryan," Seth took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Ryan dunked his head under the water and came back up, shaking his wet hair like a dog. "Grace had to go to Disneyland for her little sister's birthday party, and I didn't want to swim at the house. And I figured you were here, so here I am."

Seth laughed. "Summer's sleeping. She set a timer so she could get an even tan but obviously that plan didn't work so well."

"Where's Marissa?" Ryan asked, doggy paddling to the shallow end of the pool.

"Oh, uh, she had to go somewhere for a while. I think she'll be back soon," Seth said. Where was Marissa, anyway? She'd promised Summer that she would return before Neil and Ashley Roberts got home.

"Cool," Ryan said. Seth wasn't sure what Summer had been talking about before. Ryan didn't seem like he cared where Marissa was _that _much. So how did he like her? Seth shook his head, he was supposed to forget what Summer had told him. It was hard, though.

Seth soon drifted back off to sleep and Ryan wandered into Summer's kitchen for a late afternoon snack. He was in the process of scooping some cookie dough ice cream into a bowl when the front door slammed.

"Summer, I'm back," Marissa yelled, coming into the kitchen. Ryan noticed her before she realized his presence.

"Hey, stranger," Ryan grinned. Her eyes were bloodshot and had a faraway look in them, and she had an angry red scrape on her neck, but she was still beautiful. "What happened to you?"

"Hey…Ryan," Marissa said awkwardly. "Nothing happened. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Ryan asked. She didn't _look_ fine.

"Yeah, yeah, for sure," Marissa set her bag down on the counter. "Where's Summer?"

"I'll go get her, if you want," Ryan offered, hurrying to the pool. "Summer," he yelled, shaking the sleeping girl. "Marissa's back and she wants to talk to you."

Summer looked up. "Marissa's back?"

Ryan nodded, and Summer jumped up from her sleeping position and ran into the house.

Summer followed the sound of mellifluous crying into the living room. Marissa was curled up in a fetal position on the couch, rocking back and forth.

"Ohmigosh, Marissa, what's wrong?" Summer asked, sitting next to her step-cousin. "Where were you last night?"

Marissa wiped her nose on her sleeve and looked at Summer with bloodshot, tearstained eyes. "I went back to Ch-Chino," she sniffed.

She quietly let a few more tears escape, then continued. "My dad…he's gone."

Alarm bells flashed in Summer's eyes and rang in her ears. "What do you mean, he's gone?"

"I went back to the house…" Marissa explained, crying freely now. "And my dad wasn't there. There was nothing there. Just a note, saying sorry."

"Oh, Marissa," Summer began. "Why would you go back there?"

"Sum, don't take it personally," Marissa answered. "But I don't really belong here. You're great and all, and so is Seth. But this whole thing with Ryan and Grace…I can't deal with it."

"Come here, baby," Summer soothed, pulling Marissa closer to her. "It's okay. I understand…"

* * *

"Ooh, that's pretty," Grace pulled at Marissa's wrist, which was adorned in the bracelet Ryan had given her. "Who's it from?"

"Nobody," Marissa tried to shrug Grace off. But Grace had already flipped the heart around and was studying the inscription carefully.

"Is that from Rocky?" Grace demanded to know. "Did Ryan give this to you?"

Before Marissa could lie through her teeth, the guilty feeling bubbled to the tip of her tongue. Luckily Rocky and Ryan came up to them then. The weekend's events had been forgiven by all, and the two boys seemed to be friends again, even. Rocky still hadn't given Marissa her gift, what with the disappearance to Chino on Sunday.

"Rocky, that was so sweet of you," Grace gushed, enviously fingering the silver bracelet. "Ryan never gets me gifts anymore."

Rocky stared at the bracelet, as if trying to remember it. He glanced at Marissa, and noticed the look of urgency in her eyes. "Yeah, well, I figured Marissa didn't have a sweet sixteen, and it was her birthday, so why not?" Marissa knew she would have some explaining to do later; Rocky was giving her that pointed look that meant business.

"Aww, Grace," Ryan slung his arm around Grace easily, "I got you _that_ bracelet for _your_ sweet sixteen. You didn't lose yours did you?"

"Nope," Grace wiggled her wrist and jangling could be heard. Ryan headed off to walk her to class. Rocky turned to Marissa.

"Ryan got you that bracelet, didn't he?" Rocky asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Look." Frustrated, Marissa tucked her bangs behind her ear. "He got it for me, but it's not what you think. It's a friendship bracelet, Rocky."

"So that engraved heart is a friendship heart, huh?" Rocky challenged. He wrapped his arm around Marissa.

"Yes…no. Okay," Marissa couldn't stop the smile creeping across her face, "It's not my fault if Ryan likes me. Because I like _you_."

Rocky accepted this, but try as she could, Marissa could not make her heart stick true to her words.

During lunch, Marissa desperately needed to catch up on her English Lit. Homework. After a quick lunch with Rocky, she went back into the school to find an empty classroom.

Or what she thought was an empty classroom.

Grace and some boy, Marissa thought his name might be Andrew, were making out on the teacher's desk.

"Oh!" Startled, Marissa started to back out of the classroom. The two teenagers broke apart from their embrace, embarrassed. "Uh…I'll see you around, Grace."

"Marissa, wait," Grace called, but Marissa didn't look back. She ran down the hall, confused and upset.

How come Grace could have the best of both worlds, while she couldn't?

**A/N: **So you're all wondering why Ryan would be so stupid and take Grace back, right? Okay, well I just wanted to show that he needs her; he's comfortable in his relationship with her and doesn't want that to change. Plus, she just forgave him for cheating, so it's only fair. But it's going to change eventually. Don't worry. Sorry for the chapter. Chapter 11 will be up by tomorrow night—I promise.


	11. Now That She's Gone, Won't You Please St...

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 11: Now that she's gone, won't you please stay?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N:** So I've been really bad about updating, I know I keep promising quick chapters but I had an audition yesterday and then I had about four hours of homework…and Wednesday night I also could type up my notes because we went out for my best friend's birthday…so, yeah. I'm not promising anything, but I should have Chapter 12 up by Sunday night. Don't get mad if I don't though.

**Sis2ACesarSalad-** Don't worry about it. You're like my most faithful reviewer, so I value your opinion. Thanks for apologizing though. Grace is a dumb slut who doesn't think before she acts…and since this is somewhat following the storyline of the O.C., I think you can guess who Ryan likes more…

**Theresa-** I totally agree!! Who would cheat on Ryan? I know I wouldn't…

**Benzbabidoll-**Thanks so much

**Carpanthers21-**Here's the update, a little later than I said, but it's here!

**Iloveben14-** Thank you! Glad you think "it's the best". You make me smile…

**C-**Yep, Grace is a slut. Don't worry, Ryan and Marissa are, like, made for each other ;)

**Natalie-** You're addicted?! Wow!!

**Sleeping-Lisa17-**Aww, thanks!

**HOTTERTHNU-**Glad you realized all those connections. I try to put in stuff that might not be so obvious, but you've got it down pat!

**Emily-**Hope this doesn't disappoint you…

**Lora-**I like long reviews, they let me know what you like and don't like in the story. Hopefully some of your questions will be answered, if not, ask me again, and I'll try to answer them. One quick answer…in the last chapter I said that all the girls got Tiffany bracelets for their sweet sixteen's. But since Marissa wasn't there when they had them, Ryan got her one because it's a sweet present. He got Grace one for her sweet 16.

**Reviewer-**The next chapter's got more R/M…more mistakes and confusion too!

**Diablo17-**Glad to hear I'm improving a little…I'm trying, really I am! Luke's role in the story is going to be brought up later…but maybe you're right!?

**BenIsSexy-** Nope, Grace isn't drunk this time…but will Ryan believe Marissa?

On with the story…

"Hey," Ryan slid into the seat next to Rocky. "I'm starved."

"Hey," Rocky muttered. While they had agreed that it had been a drunken, mistake-filled weekend that should be forgotten, he was still somewhat pissed at Ryan. The kid had a serious girlfriend, and yet he got Marissa an expensive bracelet? Sure, Rocky himself had made a few mistakes, but they were drunken mistakes. It wasn't as if he actually liked Grace.

"What did you think of the chem. Lab?" Marissa asked, taking a sip of her Perrier. She drank so elegantly, Ryan noted.

Ryan smiled. "Joey Higgins passed out."

Marissa's eyebrows shot up. "That short kid with the glasses?"

Ryan nodded enthusiastically. "You should've been there." Rocky shot him a look, and he quickly composed himself.

Rocky possessively took Marissa's hand. "We're going to San Diego on Friday. Marissa's always wanted to ride the trolley."

"Ever since I watched _Full House_," Marissa explained, "I've wanted to do that."

"That'll be fun," Ryan managed. Just then Grace skipped over. Marissa's face tightened at her sight. "Hey, babe." Ryan kissed Grace. She sat down across from Rocky.

"I'm no longer failing algebra," Grace announced proudly, avoiding eye contact with Marissa.

"That's great, Grace," Ryan smiled, and nuzzled her neck. "Let's go out tomorrow night to celebrate."

Eric, Jake, and a blonde boy named John came over to the table. "Rocky, coach wants us at practice now."

Rocky cocked his head apologetically. "Sorry, Marissa," he kissed her on the lips. "See you later, guys."

He walked away with the guys on the basketball team, leaving Ryan, Marissa, and Grace sitting uncomfortably.

"I—Uh, I'm gonna head out. Later, babe," Ryan muttered, kissing Grace on the cheek. He waved to Marissa and, taking a bite of a red apple, hurried away.

"Marissa," Grace began, "What you saw before, it wa—"

"How could you do that to Ryan?" Marissa cut in angrily. "He loves you."

Grace waved her hand dismissively, eyes narrowing. "What's it to you? Believe me, you'll be better off if you pretend it never happened. Because that's what _I _plan to do."

Marissa shrugged. "It's your conscience. But I wouldn't play around with Ryan's heart like that. Someone _else_ might see you, and they'd probably tell him what they saw."

"I think I know how to handle my problems," Grace said icily. "Just remember, you saw nothing."

"Bye, Grace," Marissa stood up from the table. "Don't worry, I won't let it get around."

She stalked off, leaving Grace to wonder how the new girl had possibly gained the upper hand on her.

"Summer," Marissa yelled, trying to get the dark haired girl's attention, which was quite hard considering the throng of people gathered in the hallway. "Summer!"

She sighed, Summer hadn't heard her, and had sauntered away, probably to find an empty classroom to make out in with Seth.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey," Marissa recognized the girl as Nikki, one of Summer and Grace's friends. "You're Marissa, right?"

"Yeah."

"Grace wanted me to tell you to forget…or else," Nikki smiled helplessly. "She's a bit demanding at times. But she'll grow on you."

"Thanks, Nikki," Marissa replied, trying to sound cheerful. What could Grace do to her?_ Marissa_ was the one who had the vital information, not Grace. But still, Ryan needed to know. It wasn't fair to him, or Marissa, if Grace was leading him on. Actually, make that any girl in school who had a crush on him.

Marissa went off in search of Ryan. She found him in the library, looking at a book on Greek mythology.

"Hey," she put her hand on his back. "I have to talk to you."

Ryan turned around, his face a mask of concern. "Is everything all right?" They hadn't really been talking lately, so it was only natural that he thought something was wrong.

"I don't know," Marissa bit her lip. "I—uh…I saw…"

"Go on," Ryan prodded.

"I saw Grace kissing this guy in a classroom earlier," she blurted out, then, seeing the Ryan's blue eyes begin to pool with disbelief, regretted it.

"What?" Ryan's jaw dropped, as he blinked furiously to hold back the tears.

Grace was his girlfriend, she loved him, and had promised never to cheat again…The only logical explanation was that a jealous Marissa was trying to break them up.

"You bitch," he spat at Marissa, the look quickly turning to one of disgust, "Can't you accept that Grace is my girlfriend and I love her? I can't believe you, I thought we agreed to be friends."

"Ry…" Marissa put her hand on Ryan's shoulder, but he angrily brushed it off. "I'm not lying. I do want to be friends, I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Then stay out of my life!" Ryan's words nipped at Marissa's heart, slowly eating away the edges. He stormed off, probably to go find Grace and bitch about Marissa to her. She sighed, leaning against a bookshelf. Shit…that hadn't gone exactly as planned.

All day, Marissa noticed people looking at her. And they seemed to be angry, or pissed off. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why. She spotted Seth in the hall and walked over to him, hoping that he, too, wasn't going to give her a weird look.

"Seth, hey," Marissa forced a smile. The curly haired boy turned at the sound of her voice. In his eyes, there was something other than anger; it was pity.

"Marissa…uh, hi," Seth glanced around nervously. "What's going on?"

"I don't know." Marissa planted her hands on her hips. "I was kind of hoping you would tell me."

Seth's brow creased into a line of worry. "Um…well, you see…"

Luckily, he didn't have to answer, because Grace, Summer, and a few of their friends came over to them, fuming.

"Why did you tell Ryan I cheated on him?" Grace cried heatedly. The other girls stood behind her for support, arms crossed menacingly.

"What—I uh…I thought he should know," Marissa admitted, feeling her cheeks flush. They weren't going to believe her. Only Grace knew the truth, the rest of them would believe anything she said.

"Well I didn't cheat on him, you bitch." Grace's eyes were flashing with a cold-blooded hatred.

"You're just jealous because you can't get a guy like him. I don't know why Rocky likes you, you're such a conniving bitch," Nikki snapped.

Marissa looked from Grace, to Nikki, eyes finally resting on her cousin, Summer. Summer gave her a somewhat merciful look, and then said, "I know you're my cousin, and all, Marissa. But what you did was really low. I can't believe you."

Marissa felt like a kettle about to whistle. Why were they all cast under Grace's spell? Couldn't they see? She'd have to _make_ them see.

* * *

Marissa ate lunch alone—for the second time that week. Of course, it was only Tuesday, and Marissa knew she'd be eating in solitude the other three days of school. Summer wasn't speaking to her at home, and her parents had called Monday to say that they were "held up" and wouldn't be coming home until the following week. It wasn't as though Marissa wanted to hang out with them anyway, although Ashley wasn't half bad.

No one at school was talking to her. Even the teachers had seemed to get the vibe from the students; they'd stopped calling on her regularly and when she was the only one who raised her hand, they ignored it. Marissa blinked back tears when she was in school, but in her bedroom at the Roberts' house, she let every single one of them escape. Why hadn't she let Ryan find out on his own? Then her life wouldn't be one giant sinkhole.

The next day, Wednesday, Marissa finally spotted Rocky. He'd been at the hospital getting stitches yesterday, the result of a split knee at Monday's lunch practice. She didn't know if he knew what had happened between her and Grace, and hoped he was still on speaking terms with her. Even Seth rarely talked to her, although he'd paired up with her in Home EC when nobody would be her partner. It was getting pretty lonely.

"Rocky, how are you feeling?" Marissa fell into step with the boy who resembled Ryan.

"Hey, I heard about what happened," Rocky said, but he smiled. "Grace can be such a bitch."

Marissa felt a surge of relief pass through her body. So at least one person was talking to her. "Yeah," she agreed. "Now nobody will talk to me."

Rocky lowered his voice. "Did you really see her…making out with that guy?" he asked confidentially.

"I swear, Rocky," Marissa whispered. "But Ryan won't believe me and all of the other assholes at this school won't either."

"I believe you."

"I know." Marissa ran her hand through her tousled hair. "But…this life isn't all its cracked up to be. I just want to make everything right before I leave."

"You're leaving?" Rocky clutched Marissa's hand. "Don't leave…you can't leave."

"I have to," Marissa sighed, and sniffed slightly. "I don't belong."

"I'll talk to Grace, and Ryan, if you want," Rocky offered. "Things can't be that bad."

"They're not that bad," Marissa admitted, "but this isn't who I am. You don't know me at all, not one bit."

"Marissa…" Rocky struggled to find the right words, but came up empty. "I—uh, I guess I'll see you later. Don't leave without saying goodbye."

"Bye," Marissa responded lamely, patting Rocky on the back. Shit, she needed to get out of here. She needed to go find some of her old friends and drink her life away. Her eyes flew open, remembering the tiny bottle of Absolut Vodka she'd stashed in the new bag Ashley had bought for her.

Quickly, she found the girls' bathroom and went into a stall. With mounting urgency Marissa unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of the vodka. Its sharp taste burned her throat like wasabi, but it was comforting. Familiar. Another two gulps and she decided that it was enough…for now. After replacing the bottle in her bag, Marissa stuck a piece of gum in her mouth and hurried out of the bathroom. Feeling slightly more confident and self assured than before, Marissa spotted Ryan and resolved to make things better, at least a little better, before she left.

"Ryan," Marissa shouted. Three sandy haired boys turned around, interrupted from their conversations. She headed towards the one with the intense blue eyes. "Ryan, can we talk?"

Ryan turned his back on Marissa and said something to the guys he was talking with. He sighed, ran a hand through his impossibly stunning hair, and approached Marissa.

"What?" Ryan sounded tired, and Marissa wondered if he was because of her.

"Can we talk?" Ryan hesitated, his eyes darting around Marissa. "I have to tell you something important."

"Fine. But can we go somewhere quiet?" Ryan pointed in the direction of a classroom. He and Marissa walked down the hall until Ryan stopped in front of the Home EC classroom. "Let's make it quick. I don't need Grace thinking I'm cheating on her or anything…"

His words stung Marissa's ears and eyes, but she refrained from an equally biting comment. Ryan opened the door and they heard the sounds of kisses and moans. The lights were off, but Marissa could make out a shape pressed up against one of the stoves.

"Uh, sorry," Ryan gave a nervous laugh, "We'll find somewhere else to talk."

"Oh, don't worry about it." A female voice that sounded suspiciously like…

"Grace?" Ryan flicked on the lights skeptically.

Marissa's jaw dropped, and, although she didn't dare look over at Ryan, she sensed that he was in a similar state of shock.

"Grace?" Ryan repeated, as though he couldn't believe his eyes.

"I can explain, Ry. Mr. Jarrett force me to ki—"

"Save it. I'm sure our _teacher _forced you to cheat on me. Marissa was right about you."

"Ryan, I'm sorry," Grace whimpered. Marissa shook her head and tried to suppress a giggle. Not only was Grace pathetic, but also she was incredibly naïve.

"Sorry that you got caught?" Ryan spat. "We're over, Grace."

"Ry, wait…" Sniveling, Grace watched Ryan sprint out of the classroom.

Mr. Jarrett and Marissa left the Home EC classroom at the same time, leaving Grace to herself.

"I—uh," Mr. Jarrett began.

"It never happened, as far as I'm concerned…" Marissa found herself smiling a bit. It wasn't her place to tell everyone what had gone down between Mr. Jarrett and Grace, and, quite frankly, Marissa couldn't care less.

Walking down the hall, Marissa felt a wave of satisfaction envelop her mind and heart.

_That_ had worked out better than she could've planned herself. She hadn't even had to trick Ryan into going into the classroom where Grace was. He'd led himself to the truth.

"Thanks," Mr. Jarrett hurried away. Marissa was sure of one thing: she'd be getting an A in Mr. Jarrett's Home EC class for the rest of the year.

The next day, Marissa was greeted with more than a few friendly faces. It seemed as though word had gotten out, that she'd been telling the truth about Grace. And she'd single-handedly made Ryan Atwood a single man.

As she was walking across the quad, Marissa overheard a group of sophomore girls gossiping and giggling.

"Did you hear? Grace and Mr. Jarrett were, like, getting it on, and Ryan walked in on them!"

"I know, she is _such_ a slut. Who in their right mind would cheat on Ryan?"

"I wouldn't."

"That Marissa girl doesn't seem so bad, after all."

Smug with contentment, Marissa thought back to her earlier conversation with Rocky. Much as things in Newport were looking up, she still didn't belong here. Chino was home…even if she didn't actually have a home. She'd find some friends to stay with, or she'd make some quickly enough.

She wanted to tell Ryan though, let him know what he was going to be missing. A tiny tug at her heartstrings was ignored. Well, she ignored it as much as possible. They obviously weren't meant to be, Marissa told herself. Otherwise, Ryan would've dumped Grace for her long before he found out about Grace's cheating streak.

"Hey," Marissa heard Ryan's voice from behind her.

"Hi." Suddenly, Marissa wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to Ryan.

"I owe you an apology." They passed a shady oak tree. "Do you want to sit down?"

They sat in the shade of the tree, leaning up against the thick trunk.

"Look, Ryan…before you start," Marissa said. Why was her heart beating so uncontrollably? She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, but to no avail. "I'm going back to Chino."

"What? Why?" Ryan's icy blues melted Marissa's heart. So he was concerned. But it was too late.

"I don't belong here," Marissa stated simply. It was the truth, not the whole truth, but it was the only truth Ryan was going to know. She didn't want him to know that seeing him gave her a sharp pang in her chest. She didn't want him to know that she was craving a drink, or some pot. And she definitely didn't want him to know about the self-inflicted wounds. It was easier in Chino. No one asked questions there.

"Marissa, please stay." Ryan was groveling, and both he and Marissa knew it.

"Why should I?" Marissa asked dully, even though she knew what his answer would be.

"Because I want you to," Ryan answered, taking hold of Marissa's hand.

"I can't." She had to get away, before he could change her mind. This was too hard. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this.

Marissa saw the hurt and confusion in Ryan's pools of blue, but she forced herself to look ahead, and back to the life she had just left.


	12. Why Did She Leave, What Does She Really ...

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 12: Why did she leave, what does she really want, and how can we get her back?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys inspire me to write…so keep on reviewing!

On with the story…

Marissa hastily packed her bag, throwing in a few of the least expensive clothes she'd acquired during her stay in Newport. Of course, this was all relative to what "cheap" was in Newport; she'd packed clothes by Hardtail, Juicy, James Perse, DKNY, and Ralph Lauren. Not that those were cheap, but compared to brands like Vera Wang, Chanel, Hermes, and Dolce & Gabbana, they were.

On a rose colored piece of Summer's stationary, Marissa scribbled a note to the Roberts family, making sure to keep it impersonal and vague. Against her better judgment, she tore off another piece and wrote a note to Ryan, but then ripped it up into fifty pieces and brushed the scraps into the trashcan.

One final look around the room, and Marissa was gone.

Marissa knocked on the weathered black door. A short girl with bing cherry eyes opened it. "Is Frankie home?" The little girl nodded, and shut the door. A minute later a squat woman with the same eyes opened the door a crack.

"Marissa?" she asked, opening the door all the way and enveloping her in a huge hug. "What are you doing here, _hija_?"

"Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa greeted the older woman. "I—uh, came to see Frankie."

"Oh," Mrs. Ramirez nodded in understanding. "I thought you were in Newport with that cousin of your pop's."

Marissa shifted uncomfortably in the relentless sun. Or maybe it was the way Mrs. Ramirez was interrogating her. "It was time to come home." And she left it at that.

Mrs. Ramirez seemed to accept this. "Frankie's at work," she explained, "But come in, and I'll give you some lunch. You must be starving." She tsked disapprovingly at Marissa's figure…or the lack of it.

Marissa picked up her bag and followed Frankie's mother into the small but cozy house, shutting the door behind her. She even remembered to lock the deadbolt. You could never take chances in this neighborhood.

She dropped her bag in the small hallway with its slightly peeling flowered wallpaper. The flowers were fading, and blending into the yellow background. It was homier to Marissa than Summer's whole house had been. It was inviting and warm, and comfortable, while the Roberts home was cold, empty, and so immaculate that you were afraid to settle in, for fear of ruining its perfection.

Marissa sat down at one of the yellowing chairs in the kitchen. Originally, they'd been white, but time had changed them. She allowed her eyes to feast on the pictures that seemed to be everywhere. There was one of her and Frankie, with big toothless smiles. That had been the summer they were seven, and had each lost their two front teeth.

A picture of Frankie in his pop's old suit warmed Marissa's heart. Their eighth grade graduation ceremony had been wonderful, especially the kiss she and Frankie had shared behind the curtain afterwards.

"Here you go, _hija_." Mrs. Ramirez set a steaming mug in front of Marissa. It was chipped on the rim but Marissa didn't care. The tea would calm her nerves. Marissa took a sip from the cup, blue-gray dolphins swimming around her mouth. She shuddered as the boiling liquid scalded her tongue, and set the mug back down on the table. Mrs. Ramirez set a plate of sugar cookies in front of her.

"Thank you, Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa said, picking up a cookie. She remembered all too well the Friday afternoons she and Frankie would race home to his house, because Friday was baking day and Mrs. Ramirez always baked sugar cookies.

"_Niña_, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Carmen?" Mrs. Ramirez shook her head, and looked up at the clock. "Frankie should be home in about an hour. Do you want to take lay down?"

Marissa nodded her head gratefully, feeling her eyelids droop. She hadn't realized how tired she was. Carmen Ramirez led her into Frankie's room, grabbing a clean, worn in set of sheets from the small linen closet in the hallway. She quickly discarded Frankie's sheets and smoothed the orange flowered ones on.

"There you go." Carmen patted the bed invitingly. Marissa slipped off her shoes and neatly lined them up by the door. She crawled into Frankie's bed and let her body relax as Carmen tucked her in. It felt just like the old days, when she'd camp out at Frankie's house when things at her house got rough. And of course, the later years when she'd shared the bed with Frankie while Carmen was at work.

Marissa breathed in Frankie's familiar burnt, smoky orange smell. While bitter and unpleasant to some, his scent was oddly comforting to Marissa. In it were wrapped all of her dreams, fears, and memories.

She closed her eyes and dreamt the afternoon away…

"Mama, what is she doing here?"

"_Hijo_, she came here looking for you."

"You didn't have to invite her in! And let her sleep in my bed…I haven't even talked to her!"

"Frankie…she's your oldest friend. Why you so upset?"

"You just _don't_ get it, do you Mama? I can't be around her."

Marissa shifted uneasily in Frankie's bed, where she'd been camped out for the last fifteen minutes listening to Frankie and Carmen quarrel. She hated that _she_ had done this to them. She was too much trouble, she'd leave as soon as they stopped fighting and it was safe to come out.

A sharp rapping at the door to Frankie's room. Marissa didn't answer. She could hear the old door creak open.

"Marissa?" Frankie's voice was soft, gentle, showing no signs of the loud, angry voice from moments before. He sat down on the bed next to Marissa, and his familiar orangey smell was overwhelming. Marissa forced herself to open her eyes a crack.

And there Frankie was, flesh and bone. Every bit wonderful.

"Hey," Marissa smiled. "Come here and give me a hug!"

Frankie obliged, rolling on top of Marissa and squeezing her tight. "I thought you were leaving forever," he whispered into Marissa's honey-wheat hair.

Marissa tried to relax; she was safe in Frankie's arms again. There was nothing to worry about…she was sure Carmen would let her stay with them, at least for a little while. So why did she feel like she'd just left _home_?

* * *

"Hello?"

"Ryan, get your ass over here. And bring Cohen with you."

"I'm on my way."

Ryan and Seth arrived at Summer's house in about five minutes. Summer answered the door, looking distressed and annoyed. "What took you so long?"

"Summer…we got here as fast as we could without running anything over," Seth said. "We even ran two stoplights."

Summer twirled her fingers sarcastically. "Whoop-de-do."

"I'm sorry." Summer turned and stalked back into the house, Seth on her heels. "Baby, what's wrong?"

The boys followed Summer upstairs, wondering what she could possibly be upset about.

"Summer," Ryan groaned. "Please don't tell me this is a _fashion_ emergency."

Summer gave him a dirty look. "Like I would call _you_ or Cohen here if I had a fashion emergency?"

She opened the door to the room Marissa was staying in. Or…had been staying in. Ryan gasped as they entered the spotless cream-colored room.

"Where's Marissa's stuff?" Seth asked, confused.

Summer pointed to a folded piece of rose-colored stationary on the desk, then sat down on the queen size bed. Ryan and Seth both lunged for the note, but Ryan was quicker.

_Summer, Aunt Ashley, and Neil,_

_Thanks for letting me stay at your house, it's really gorgeous. It was time to go home, I guess…I feel like I overstayed my welcome. Thanks for giving me a chance though. If you hear from my dad, let me know. I'll be fine in Chino, I promise. I'll stay with an old friend or something. Don't worry about me. _

_It was nice meeting you Summer, and all of your friends. They were really nice and sweet, for the most part. I guess I'll miss you, and them. _

_Xx Marissa_

"That's it?" Ryan scratched his head. Why did Marissa have to leave? Why couldn't he have trusted her when she told him about Grace? Maybe if he'd dumped Grace on the spot, Marissa would still be in Newport and in Ryan's life.

But he hadn't. And that was the unfortunate truth.

Summer nodded. "There's a ripped up note in the trashcan. I wouldn't bother trying to piece it together…she did a good job tearing it."

Seth reached into the cream wastebasket and revealed a handful of pink paper scraps. "She did."

"This is all my fault…If I hadn't been such a bitch to her, just because Grace gave me _her_ side of the story, then maybe she'd still be here." Summer buried her face in her hands, and Seth sat down to comfort her.

"No, Summer. It's all my fault. If had believed Marissa in the first place, she wouldn't have left." Ryan sat down on the other side of Summer and took her hand.

"You're both wrong. It's all my fault," Seth announced, letting Summer sob into his shoulder.

Summer and Ryan looked at him. "Why is it _your_ fault?" they said in unison.

Seth shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know. Everyone was blaming it on themselves, so I felt like I should too."

Summer rolled her eyes. "You're such a dork."

"I'll second that." Ryan lay back on the bed, his feet dangling off the edge.

"I'll third it."

"Cohen!" Summer slapped Seth lovingly. "Just shut up…okay?"

Seth pushed Summer back on the bed and rolled on top of her. "Okay." He began to kiss her neck…stopping at her mouth to plant a wet one.

"Ugh. You guys are disgusting. I'm outta here." Ryan stood up and shook his head at his two friends.

"Where you going?" Seth mumbled between mouthfuls of Summer.

"To find Marissa?" Ryan said, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Seth and Summer sat up, legs entwined.

"Can we come?" Summer asked, licking her lips. "Seth, did you eat a Snickers bar before?"

"I guess," Ryan shrugged. "But I don't want you two making out in the backseat the whole time."

"Fine," Seth agreed. "Three Musketeers, but you were close, babe."

Ryan turned on his heel and left the room, followed closely by Summer and Seth. They got into the Range Rover, Seth and Summer both sitting in the back. Ryan got onto the highway and looked in his rearview mirror.

"Hey," he protested. "I thought I said no making out."

"You said we couldn't make out the _whole_ time," Summer giggled. Ryan could hear Seth panting and whispering sweet nothings in Summer's ear. Of course, he didn't know what those sweet nothings were, and had no desire to find out.

"Keep it down then."

"What a party pooper," Ryan heard Summer whisper—quite loudly—to Seth.

"Heard that." Ryan shook his head and concentrated on driving. To drown out the sound of Seth and Summer, who seemed to be constantly joined at the lips, he turned on the radio.

As they drove into Chino, Ryan locked the doors. It was just a precaution. Driving past a high school overrun with kids smoking and fighting outside, Summer pointed. "I think we should stop here. I'm sure some of these kids know Marissa."

Ryan parked, locked the doors, and the three of them set out to find a kid who wasn't fighting or smoking, and didn't look too dangerous.

They passed by two girls dressed completely in black. Their faces were the palest of whites, and their eyes were outlined in a charcoal black eyeliner.

"Hi." Seth approached the girls, who stared blankly at him. "Do you know someone named Marissa?"

One of the girls shook her head, the other nodded. "Well, do you?" Summer demanded.

The shorter girl, who'd nodded her head, pulled her shirt down a bit. "Who wants to know?" she challenged.

"I do." Summer took a step closer to the girl. "I'm her cousin."

The other girl raised her eyebrows. "Cooper, right?"

"Yeah."

"She lives on 9th Street, I think. Longwood Apartments," the short one answered.

"Does she have any close friends that she might be staying with?" Ryan asked, remembering the words on the rose-colored paper. _I'll stay with an old friend or something. Don't worry about me._

The taller girl answered this time, eyeing Ryan curiously. "Well, there's this one kid, Frankie. They used to be tight." As if to emphasize, she wrapped two of her fingers together. "He lives on Normandy Lane."

"Thanks," Summer replied curtly, not particularly enjoying—okay, maybe a little—the looks some of the guys were giving her. Seth was not enjoying it at all.

"Thanks," Seth echoed. "Bye."

They hurried back to the Range Rover, Seth making sure to keep Summer's hand in his. You could never be too safe around here. They scrambled into the SUV and Ryan turned on the engine.

"Uh, guys?" Ryan asked, after they drove around for a little. "Where's Normandy lane?"

Seth and Summer broke apart from their lip lock. "Maybe we should ask someone." Summer pointed to an old, emaciated man sitting by the bus stop. Ryan pulled over and Summer hopped out of the car before Seth or Ryan could.

"Hi, I'm looking for Normandy Lane."

The man looked up, an interested glint in his eye. "What's it to you?"

Summer placed her hands on her hips. "I'm looking for a friend. Frankie's his name."

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here?"

"I just told you." Summer rolled her eyes impatiently. "Do you know where it is or not?"

"What you gonna do for me if I tell you?" the man placed his hand on Summer's knee. She immediately backed off. "Guess you don't wanna know _that_ badly, eh?"

Ryan jumped out of the car. "Keep your hands off her," he ordered. "Now, tell me where Normandy Lane is."

The man pointed. "Go down the road and take a left on Erickson Road. Then take a right onto Bridle and go down the street until you see the sign for Normandy. Frankie Ramirez lives in the gray house with the yellow shutters on the right."

"Thanks." Ryan handed the man a five-dollar bill, and in turn, the man tipped his fisherman's cap.

They got back into the car and Seth put his arm around Summer, who had a disgusted look on her face.

"Thanks, Ryan. That guy was a sketchball."

"Don't mention it."

"I would've come, babe, but Ryan was already out of the car…" Seth rested his head on Summer's shoulder.

"Sure you would have, baby."

Ryan followed the man's instructions, and soon they came to a battered street sign that read** Normandy Lane.** He turned onto the road and saw the small houses that had definitely seen better days.

He kept looking for a gray house with yellow shutters, but didn't see one.

"Hey! There it is!" Seth yelled, pointing to one of the smallest houses on the street, which was on the left. Ryan shook his head. At least the girls and man hadn't been lying about Normandy Lane and the right house. He hoped it was the right house…

They parked on the street, as the small gravel driveway was occupied by a rusty red VW Beetle, one of those really, really old-fashioned ones. Behind it, a forest green van was parked.

Summer marched up to the door confidently, knocking on the yellow door. There was no doorbell, she noted.

A squat woman with big brown eyes opened the door.

"Who is it, Ma?" Seth, Ryan, and Summer could hear another person yelling.

The woman ignored the voice and turned to the trio. "Can I help you?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, giving each one a quick inspection.

"We're looking for Marissa Cooper," Seth explained, cracking a smile. He quickly put it away when the woman didn't smile back.

"Who are you?" she asked, still guarded.

"I'm her cousin, Summer." Summer refused to smile, not at this woman.

"I'm Seth, Summer's boyfriend," Seth said, trying another smile on the woman.

"Ryan," Ryan offered.

"One second," the woman promised, closing the door. Seth began to whistle, until a slap on his arm from Summer silenced him.

"What was that for?" Seth asked, rubbing his arm.

"Just let me do the talking, okay? Me or Ryan. But you, you stay quiet Cohen." Summer smiled at her boyfriend, kissing him on the chin.

The woman opened the door again. "Come in," she said wearily. She presented Seth with the tiniest of smiles, just a slight upwards arch of her chapped lips.

They followed the woman into the tiny hallway. Summer couldn't help but notice that it was smaller than her walk in closet. She led them down another tiny hallway and opened the door to a bedroom. Marissa was curled up in the bed, and a tall, good-looking boy around their age was holding her.

"Here. You happy?" The woman disappeared back down the hallway, leaving Seth, Summer, and Ryan with Marissa and the boy.

"Oh, Marissa," Summer cried, running over to the bed and hugging her cousin, ignoring the boy, who was looking quite peeved.

"What are you doing here?" Marissa's eyes clouded over, filling up with tears.

"We found your note. I'm so sorry, Marissa. I should've believed you," Summer sniffed.

"I'm sorry too." Seth hung his head.

"For what?" came the barely audible response from Marissa.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer laughed. "I don't know. I just felt like apologizing," Seth enlightened Marissa.

Ryan stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. This guy…was he Marissa's old boyfriend? Brother? Uncle? He had a slight Spanish tone to him, as if one of his parents was Caucasian, the other Spanish.

"I'm Frankie." The boy stood up, letting Summer and Seth crowd around Marissa. Ryan shook the boy's hand.

"Ryan," he said. "You must be…"

"Marissa oldest friend," Frankie smiled smugly. "We've been dating on and off for years."

"Oh," Ryan managed to say, trying hard to hide the shock on his face. So Marissa was claimed? That was fast, too fast. He'd lost his chance. God, he was an idiot.

Mustering up all of his strength, Ryan walked over to the bed, which was sagging slightly from the combined weight of his three friends.

"Marissa," Ryan sat down on the other side of the bed, "I'm sorry."

Marissa said nothing, just stared a little dejectedly at Ryan. Why had he waited so long? And was that it? Was that all he wanted to say to her?

"I know it's only been a day, but I miss you."

Marissa waited.

"I need you…I want to make this work."

Marissa opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She saw the longing look in Frankie's eyes, and Ryan's as well.

Her oldest friend, the one she'd lost her virginity to, and liked for the longest time?

Or, her newest friend, the one she knew she could never be _just friends_ with, and made her heart flutter with anticipation?

**A/N:** Haha, I'm so evil, leaving you hanging like this again! But, Chapter 13 will be up by tomorrow (Thursday) night, and sooner if you guys review and tell me what you think! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I was going to split it in 2 but I decided to give you an extra long treat!


	13. Is She Coming Home?

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 13: Is she coming home?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys inspire me to write…so keep on reviewing! 133 reviews…I'm floored. Honestly, guys, you rock. I never expected to get this many reviews, or have this much interest in the story.

**Benzbabidoll- **yes, the cliffhanger is one of my favorites!

**Emily-** Thank you so much! Hopefully it will get even better!

Carpanthers21- Cliffhanged again! The evil Skinny5s (a.k.a Kira) I've been trying to keep them true to their personalities…for the most part. Obviously, Ryan is a little more outgoing and talkative because he's been there for a while and is very popular. But thanks! 

**Sis2ACesarSalad-** Wow what a long review! Thanks! Yeah, the note…I was going to have them piece it together…but then the chapter just got _too_ long and I forgot. I still might find a way to incorporate it into the story ;) Hmm. You're onto something with the virgin thing, and I'm glad to see that I used the Spanish words correctly, because those are some of the few words I have in my vocabulary, even after 2 years of Spanish. :

**Diablo17-** I know it was a little boring, and I thank you for not just saying "that was amazing" or whatever. The truth helps me write better. Also, this chapter has a bit more action, so hopefully it will be satisfying.

**Iloveben14-**Thanks! And you'll have to read on to find out who she picks…

**C—**Glad you like Frankie. He's not as annoying as Theresa…yet! Just kidding. His role in Marissa's life is going to be different than Theresa's in Ryan's life—lol obviously he's not going to have Marissa's baby…

**S—**You like the Seth/Summer? Great!! I've been trying to put them into the chapters and add…well, no drama…it's nice to have a constant. But more drama concerning them is going to arise in the future.

**Reviewer-**I won't make you wait so long…this isn't long is it??

**Theresa—**Thanks for telling the truth. Honestly, last chapter was kind of a filler, building up to the good stuff. I mean, I can't have Ryan/Marissa fluff in _every_ chapter, then there would be no drama! Lol, I don't know how Marissa could _not_ want Ryan…read on!

**Newportbabe44-** I am evil…just joshin ya. Lol. Thanks for the long review. Yeah, it made me put up Chapter 13 sooner (Thursday afternoon as opposed to Thursday night…)

**Aby-** Aw thanks. Read on to find out…

**Katieshaz-** Thanks. Hope this update was quick enough.

**Sleeping-Lisa17-**Thanks!

On with the story…

"I—I can't deal with this right now." Marissa closed her eyes.

"Fuck this, Marissa. I came all the way to fucking Chino to get you," Ryan yelled furiously.

"Maybe she doesn't want to be 'got'," Frankie muttered.

The two boys glared defiantly at each other, Seth and Summer awkwardly stood by the window, and Marissa huddled under Frankie's blanket, hoping if she stayed there, they would all go away.

She couldn't deal with this.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Marissa announced, pushing back the covers and hurrying past her friends.

She left the room and went across the hall to the tiny bathroom Frankie shared with his younger sister, Nuria, and older brother, Miguel. After hearing the lock click, Marissa opened the cabinet underneath the sink and rooted around until she found what she was looking for.

The silver blades reflected off the mirror. Sighing, Marissa sat down on the closed toilet seat and rolled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt. In one fluid motion she dug into her skin. It stung, just a little bit. She dug deeper, feeling the satisfaction of numbness overcome her. Marissa pulled her dark jeans to her ankles. She made three short marks on her right thigh. For some reason, she always got more satisfaction from her left thigh.

Without thinking, Marissa began to carve into her left thigh. She shuddered as the blood dripped slowly down her leg, tickling her flesh.

Once she felt no more, Marissa turned on the faucet and washed the remnants of her cutting spree away. She studied her wrist. She hadn't cut deep enough for the blood to be gushing, so, with a pat of a tissue, Marissa rolled down her sleeve. Hopefully her blood wouldn't soak through. She saw the blood just underneath the surface on her right leg. On her left leg, she was shocked and fell back against the wall when she saw her handiwork. It was probably the combined loss of blood and pain and the shock that did this.

For on her left thigh, Marissa had carved the letter _R._

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Marissa had lost control. She didn't remember carving the _R._ She didn't remember. And that scared her, sometimes.

She'd cut deep enough into her skin on this leg. The blood was seeping out of the corners of the letter. Marissa bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.

She never cried. She never felt. Before now…

In Frankie's room, there was an uncomfortable silence. Seth had attempted to make small talk and jokes but Summer and Ryan's combined looks of death stopped him. They heard a loud thud through the paper-thin walls.

"What was that?" Summer asked suspiciously. It hadn't sounded like a gunshot…but in Chino, you never knew.

"I think it came from the bathroom," Frankie said, and the four of them squeezed out of his room. Frankie turned the doorknob, but it was locked. "She's locked it."

From the other side of the door, Marissa could hear them pounding and banging. Why couldn't they leave her alone? She needed to do this, by herself. If they knew, they wouldn't let her. And she needed to do it.

She pulled up her pants, sobbing softly. Her sweatshirt hung down past her thighs, so any leakage would be concealed. And she could always blame it on her period. Even though she hadn't gotten it in over four months. They didn't know…they didn't have to know…they couldn't know.

"One second," Marissa called, washing her hands and replacing the cleaned razor under the sink.

"What do you think she was doing in there?" Seth asked Summer.

"I don't know," Summer shrugged. "But I think she fell or something."

Ryan suspected it was _or something_. Something was not right with Marissa. He wanted to help her, he wanted to save her. He wanted to hold her in his arms and assure her that everything would be all right.

They heard the lock click, and Marissa opened the door. She looked as though she'd been crying a little, and her sweatshirt was draped loosely over her body.

"Are you okay?" Summer asked, putting her arm around Marissa. Marissa sniffed, nodded, and let Summer lead her back into Frankie's room. Seth, Ryan, and Frankie followed.

Mrs. Ramirez, oblivious to the commotion, walked in a moment later with a tray. "Who wants cookies?"

"Ma," Frankie groaned, but happily took a cookie. "Thanks."

"Thank you, Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa managed to squeak. The old woman smiled and left the tray on the bed. Once she had gone, Summer turned to Marissa.

"Please come back."

Marissa shrugged. "Why should I?"

"For me." Ryan offered a small smile to Marissa.

"For me." Summer patted her on the back.

"For me." Seth grinned.

"You know you can stay here as long as you want," Frankie cut in. Summer rolled her eyes at him. "What?" he asked. "She obviously wants to be here. With _me_."

"_She _doesn't want to stay here," said Summer.

"Yeah, she does. Why else would she have come here?" Frankie challenged.

"No, she doesn't," Summer spat back.

Frankie opened his mouth, but it was Marissa's tired voice they heard. "Will you two stop it? Did anyone think to ask me what I wanted, instead of assuming it?"

"What do you want, Marissa?" Seth asked.

"Thanks, Seth." Marissa smiled warmly at Seth. "I don't know what I want. But I think coming here might have been a mistake."

"But…" Frankie said, shocked.

"I wasn't done. Frankie, you're my best friend. But I can't stay here and impose on your family. Your mom's got three kids, two jobs, and no husband. I can't do that to her."

Ryan tried hard not to smile smugly at _Frankie, you're my best friend._ But it was hard. Because that meant she didn't like Frankie…at least not enough to consider staying here with him.

"We'd make it work." The poor guy wanted Marissa with him so much.

"I can't…" Marissa said apologetically. "I'm sorry, Frankie."

Seth tentatively took a cookie off the tray. He bit into it, crunching loudly. "Mm, these cookies are good."

"Seth." Summer hit him on the arm. "So, Marissa, where's your stuff?"

"In the kitchen. Will you get it, Sum?" Summer nodded and pulled Seth out of the room with her.

"Um, Ryan?" Marissa said. "Can you leave me alone with Frankie for a minute?"

"Sure," Ryan answered, walking past Frankie.

Frankie whispered threateningly in Ryan's ear, "You fuck with her man…I swear. You better watch your back."

Ryan's fists were itching to connect with Frankie's face, but he controlled himself.

He paused at the doorway, hearing Marissa begin to talk to Frankie.

"Frankie, don't look at me like that."

"I thought you wanted to be here. Why the fuck did you come here? So you could flaunt yourself to me, show me what I want but can't seem to get?"

"I don't need this shit, Frankie. You cheated on me. I don't know why I even came here, it was a big mistake."

Marissa brushed by Frankie, tears clouding her eyes. She shouldered him angrily and walked straight into Ryan's arms. He lurched back from the contact, and then wrapped his arms around her.

They walked into the kitchen, where Seth was eating something and Summer was politely sipping her Diet Coke. They were both talking animatedly with Mrs. Ramirez, who was stirring something simmering in a pot on the stove.

"It was good to see you, Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa called out. "Carmen."

Mrs. Ramirez smiled. "_Hija_, come by anytime. Frankie's always happy to see you. You and these friends. Bring your friends." She pinched Seth's cheek lovingly.

Marissa wanted to tell her that Frankie probably wouldn't give her a warm welcome anytime soon. But she supposed Mrs. Ramirez and Frankie would be having a long talk after she left.

"Let's go." Ryan was tight-lipped. "Bye Mrs. Ramirez. Thank you."

She smiled as Seth and Summer hugged her. "Come visit soon!"

Once the four were safely in the Range Rover, Marissa found her voice.

"Thanks, guys. For coming. I mean it. I guess it was stupid of me to think I could just run away…thanks for giving me something to come home to."

"I shouldn't have bitched at you like that," Summer admitted.

"She can't help it, though," Seth cut in. "It grows on you, after a while."

"Shut up. I'm more than willing to place a sex ban if you keep it up."

"Please, no, for the love of God," Ryan groaned. Marissa was confused. Ryan turned to her, and explained, "Last time she placed a sex ban on Seth, he drove me crazy. And he wouldn't stop sending her gifts, inviting her over…it was a nightmare."

"Hey," said Summer sharply. "If you don't shut up, it's going to be no sex for a month."

"No skin off my back," Ryan muttered, and Marissa laughed.

Seth and Summer began to squabble, and got caught up in their own world.

"Ryan," Marissa began.

"Wait," Ryan interrupted. "Before you say anything…just tell me, do you like, I mean, are you in love with Frankie?"

Marissa was silent for a moment. "Mar—"

She cut Ryan off with her smooth lips. They kissed hungrily, as though they hadn't eaten in a long time, and couldn't get enough of each other. Ryan broke away when a few cars honked impatiently. He was holding up the road.

"Does it seem like I love Frankie?" Marissa asked innocently, as Ryan tried to focus his eyes on the road. When they reached the stoplight, Ryan leaned over and left feathery kisses on Marissa's neck.

She was beginning to feel a bit light-headed, a probable effect of three sharp blades and Ryan's kisses.

"I'm tired," Marissa whispered. Ryan kissed her on the head.

"Go to sleep, Marissa. I'll wake you up when we get home."

Marissa liked that. Home. She had a place to call home. She drifted off to the soothing feel of wet liquid against her wrist.

* * *

Marissa's body was shaking uncontrollably. Tears streamed down her face, and she whimpered occasionally.

"Marissa, wake up," Ryan shook the crying girl. Beside her, Summer was nervously digging her nails into Seth's arm.

She couldn't fight it anymore…they were too powerful. The demons were out to get her, she couldn't stop them. They were coming closer and closer, hauntingly tantalizing, reaching out to her, but she couldn't…she didn't fight them off.

"Stop it!" she screamed, and with one final shudder sat right up.

"Marissa, what's wrong? You were, like, trapped in your nightmare," said Summer. Ryan put his arms around Marissa's waist. "We tried to wake you as soon as we got here, but you wouldn't wake up."

Marissa looked around, she was still in the Range Rover, which was parked in the driveway of Summer's house. She shivered in the California sun.

"Let's go inside. I'm starving," Seth said, starting to walk up the path to the front door. Summer followed suit.

Ryan scooped Marissa into his arms and followed Seth and Summer into the house. He kissed her on the head. "Do you want to go out tonight? Oh, and your jeans are a little damp."

Marissa remembered the _R_ she'd unknowingly carved into her thigh, letting it bleed a deep crimson. Was this a sign? She had no control…did that mean they were meant to be? "Okay," she replied. "I spilled tea on them earlier when Mrs. Ramirez gave me some lunch," she explained, careful not to use Frankie's name. She wanted to focus on Ryan, Ryan, and Ryan, she couldn't get enough, now that they were finally together.

They could hear voices coming from the kitchen that did not belong to Summer and Seth only. Marissa saw Ashley and Neil talking with Seth and Summer.

"How was the trip?" Marissa asked, as Ryan set her down.

"Absolutely fantastic," Neil replied. "In fact, we're only home until tomorrow night. We're going back. Ash wanted to get more clothes, and leave all the stuff she bought."

"Cool." Marissa now understood part of the reason Summer wanted her back in Newport. The elder Roberts were never home, and naturally Summer got very lonely. And it wasn't as though Seth could spend the night _every_ night.

"So Ryan and I are going out tonight." Marissa announced.

Ashley scrunched her surgically enhanced nose. "Aren't you dating Grace?"

"I was…" Ryan answered, "but not anymore." He smiled at Marissa. "I wanted to explore my other options."

"How nice." Neil slung his arm around Summer. "But I wanted to take the girls out for dinner tonight. Marissa will come over after, though."

"Okay. That's fine," Ryan said, with a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

"We should really get going," Seth said, kissing Summer on the cheek. Ryan followed suit with Marissa. "Bye, Mr. Roberts, Mrs. Roberts."

"Goodbye, Seth," Neil said, slapping the boy on the back. "Ryan."

After the boys left, he added, "Those are some nice boys. I don't know Ryan well but Seth is a great catch, Summer."

"Thanks, Dad." Summer couldn't hide the pride in her voice.

"Girls, I picked up a few things for you on our vacation. They're upstairs in your rooms," Ashley told Summer and Marissa.

"Thanks, Ash," Summer smiled, and then turned and ran out of the kitchen. They could hear her running up the stairs. Marissa thanked Ashley and followed Summer.

Marissa opened the door to the guest room…rather, her room. She wondered if Summer would actually get it decorated for Marissa. She'd ask Summer later.

Ashley had picked up a few outfits—translate, several thousand dollars worth—on the trip, and Marissa found her bedspread buried in designer clothes. She sighed, and disappeared into her bathroom to shower. When she was finished, she scooped the first dress off her bed and changed into it. A light blue drop-waisted tube dress, it had a small slit at the top.

Heading back into the bathroom, Marissa checked her wrist. It wasn't too bad, if anyone asked questions she'd say she scraped it by accident. Or something.

Marissa let her hair air dry into its wavy state. She loosely pinned the sides back with a gold barrette lying on her dresser. Four boxes of shoes also lay on the bed, and Marissa found a fancy white sandal-type shoe that complemented her dress.

"Summer, Marissa. Let's go!" Neil shouted from downstairs. Sans purse, Marissa turned the light off and knocked on Summer's bedroom door. Summer was wearing a pale pink halter top and a black pleated skirt with a chain hanging on it. She was teetering in high black Manolos that laced up her legs. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, and she was clutching a black quilted Chanel purse.

"You look great, Summer," said Marissa. It was true. The girl was dressed to kill.

Summer looked at Marissa. "Look at you! You look gorgeous."

"Thanks," Marissa replied, somewhat bashfully. The only time she'd ever been told she was gorgeous was by guys, and only when they wanted to get laid. Which, in retrospect, had nearly always happened. Marissa shook her head. Now was not the time to regret her past.

"Where's your purse?" Summer eyed Marissa arm. Marissa crossed her arms so Summer couldn't see the cuts on her skin. The less attention Marissa brought to her arms, the better.

"I don't have one," Marissa shrugged. Summer's jaw dropped, and she disappeared into her bedroom, returning with a light blue evening purse. It was shaped like a bow, and Marissa didn't think its purpose was to hold more than a credit card, cell phone, and lip-gloss. "Thanks."

"No problem. We'll have to go buy you some essentials," Summer winked.

* * *

"I suppose you girls want to go over to Seth and Ryan's house already." Neil Roberts checked his watch.

Marissa and Summer exchanged glances.

"Go on!" Neil said. Summer kissed her father giddily and pecked her stepmom on both cheeks. Marissa hugged both of them in lieu of kisses. They weren't her parents…she didn't feel a connection with them. At least not yet. Hopefully she'd be staying with them for a while.

Summer and Marissa had taken a separate car, so that once dinner was over they could head on over to the Cohen house. Summer put the key in the ignition and drove away.

"Hello, girls." Kirsten Cohen was holding a pair of chopsticks in hand. She opened the door widely so Summer and Marissa could come in. "Seth's attempting to teach me how to use these." She held out the chopsticks. "Unfortunately, I think it's hopeless."

Marissa giggled, following Kirsten into the kitchen. Ryan was looking bored, Sandy was telling a joke, and Seth was trying to tell a joke too.

"Summer, you look lovely. And Marissa, you look beautiful too," Sandy stopped midway through his joke.

"Thanks Mr. Cohen," both girls replied in unison.

"So why'd you come to see these two bozos?" Sandy grinned, laughing at his own joke.

"Hilarious, dad. Really." Seth turned to Summer. "Ah, but you're right. Summer does look lovely."

Ryan wiped his mouth on a white cloth napkin. "I'm done. Want to go outside?" he asked Marissa.

She nodded and accepted the hand he held out to her. They walked through the dining room out onto the patio.

"You look amazing," he told her.

"Thanks," she replied, kissing him on the lips. Ryan held the kiss until both he and Marissa were struggling to breathe.

"You take my breath away, you know that?"

Marissa laughed. "King of the corny pick up lines."

"Yeah," Ryan leaned in, "But it worked, didn't it?"

Yes, it did. Marissa's lips met Ryan's for a second time. She'd never experienced anything like this. Those fireworks people in love talked about, she finally saw them. And this was their first date. Sure, they'd kissed, but now it was almost as though they were kissing for the first time.

It was special. And of course, all special moments had to be interrupted. A bright light blinded Marissa as she opened her eyes. Was that the moon?

"PDA Police," Summer shouted, as she and Seth jumped out from behind a pool chair.

"PDA?" Marissa asked, raising her eyebrows. How long had Seth and Summer been watching…how long had she and Ryan been kissing?

"Public display of affection," Seth answered.

"You're real funny, you know that Seth?" Ryan said sarcastically. "Ah, screw them," he turned to Marissa and gently sucked on her bottom lip, before moving inside. His tongue sent a spark through Marissa every time it touched hers.

Marissa heard the sound of Seth and Summer fighting over who got to hold the flashlight, and whether PDA was okay or not. She heard a loud splash, and the next second Summer was shrieking, "You're going to pay for this Cohen!"

Marissa and Ryan turned around and saw Summer flailing in the pool. Seth leaned down to help her, and instead she pulled him in. Ryan and Marissa recoiled, not wanting to get wet.

But Ryan had other plans. With Marissa still wrapped in his arms he lunged himself at the pool, sending the two of them splashing into the water.

"Ohmigod!" Summer gasped, "My Manolos!"

Kirsten and Sandy came out and saw Ryan and Marissa pushing each other in the water. Seth and Summer were splashing as well. Well, Seth was splashing, Summer was whining. She pulled off the water-logged shoes with some effort.

"Summer!" Kirsten scolded, "Are those Manolos?"

Summer nodded faintly. "It's _your_ son's fault," she explained. "He pushed me in."

"Seth." Kirsten clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "These are _Manolos_." She waved the dripping shoes in the air.

"I didn't tell Summer to buy them, or wear them," Seth said, and received a slap from Summer, who then dunked Seth. Seth came up spluttering.

"Don't stay in too long," Sandy warned, before heading back into the house. Kirsten took Summer's other shoe and stalked back into the house. "Kids these days…"

Later, Ryan and Marissa were up in his room, drying off. Ryan came out of his bathroom with two large, fluffy white towels. He dropped one on the floor and wrapped a shivering Marissa in the other.

"Do you want a sweatshirt?" he asked, rubbing her arms. Marissa tried to ignore the tiny pinch of pain that jolted through her arm whenever Ryan rubbed below her elbow.

"No. Can I borrow one of your tank tops so I can look as cool as you?"

Ryan grinned and planted a sweet, light kiss on Marissa's collarbone before opening a drawer and pulling out a wifebeater. He tossed it to Marissa, then took another one out for himself.

Marissa stood under the warmth of the towel for a minute, watching Ryan change. He pulled his t-shirt off and revealed a set of well defined abs. He was tan and muscular, and…oh, Marissa mind _was_ wandering. Ryan finished changing, and saw Marissa staring at him.

She smiled. "Can you unzip my dress?" He unzipped it and Marissa slipped it off. She wasn't wearing a bra and all that covered her lean body was a skimpy thong.

"Now, this is a _much_ better view than before," Ryan said, slipping his arms around Marissa. She hurriedly pulled the tank top over her head so Ryan wouldn't notice the gashes on her thighs and collapsed on the bed with Ryan. Luckily, the wifebeater hung past her thighs, and Ryan didn't seem to notice anyway.

They began to kiss passionately, with sighs and moans of content every now and then. Marissa wasn't sure if she was moaning or if it was Ryan. A knock at the door, but neither of the hormone-ridden teens heard it.

Seth opened the door and saw Ryan and Marissa making out.

"See? I told you," he called back to Summer. "This is why they've been so quiet."

He stepped into the room, followed by Summer, and it took three clearings of their throats for Ryan and Marissa to look up.

"Um, hi. Wow," Seth mumbled. "Marissa's in her…um, is it underwear?"

"Cohen!" Summer hit him. "Stop staring."

He covered his eyes with his hands. "Tell me when it's safe to come out," he called cheerfully.

Ryan grabbed a pair of plaid boxers from his drawer and handed them to Marissa. She quickly slipped them on.

Summer and Marissa began to talk animatedly about some funny thing that had happened at dinner. Seth's eyes were still covered. Ryan pointed to Seth, and mouthed _Should we tell him yet_, to Summer. Summer shook her head and began to walk out of Ryan's room, putting her finger to her lips. Ryan and Marissa crept out quietly as well, leaving Seth with his eyes covered.

"Is she decent? Guys? GUYS!"

**A/N:** Wow, really long chapter. I hope you liked it. I wanted a bit more of Marissa's past with her, and a bit more r/m quality time. Hopefully it was enjoyable. Review, please!


	14. Are They Together or Not?

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 14: Are they together or not?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.****

**A/N:** Sorry for the late update, I was in New York because my close relative is in the hospital. I promise a quick update—Chapter 15 will be up later today, or early morning tomorrow. Thanks for all the reviews!

"Hey," Ryan said, as Marissa opened the door. "I brought you breakfast." He pointed to the bag of food in his hand. "And flowers."

Marissa gratefully accepted the long stemmed roses, and opened the door widely so Ryan could come in. "Hold on just a second," she said, when Ryan leaned in for a kiss. She ran up the stairs and into her bedroom, where two open bottles—vodka and Bacardi Razz—were sitting on the desk. She quickly screwed their caps back on and shoved them under the bed. Then she went into her bathroom and brushed her teeth, and swished mouthwash around.

She walked calmly down the stairs, holding onto the railing for support. Not having had _too_ much to drink—at least not in her book—Marissa still wasn't sure when—or if—the effects of the liquor would start to surface.

Entering the kitchen, Marissa bit down on her lip, feeling a slight bout of lightheadedness coming on. Ryan wrapped his arms around her and softly nibbled on her neck. Marissa let herself go in his arms, thankful Ryan was there to hold her up. Hopefully, he'd think she was lightheaded from him, and not alcohol.

Summer walked downstairs, dressed in a jean skirt and halter-top. "Eww, like, get a room," she said, disgusted. "Is Cohen here?"

Ryan shook his head. "He had to go register for that skating tournament this morning, so I'm taking you to school."

"Oh," Summer said. "In that case, Marissa's sitting in the back with me. No way am I going to watch you guys get all touchy-feely this early in the morning."

Ryan grinned and kissed Marissa on the lips again. "Okay, that should tide me over for a little while."

Summer rolled her eyes. "I'll be waiting in the car."

--

"I'll catch you later." Marissa kissed Ryan lightly, giving him the tiniest taste of her sweetness and leaving him begging for more. She smiled at him and walked down the hall to class.

Ryan walked into his classroom, grabbing the only empty seat…which happened to be next to Grace.

"Hi," she smiled too widely at Ryan. "How are you?"

"Grace," Mr. Fink warned, "you can talk with your boyfriend _after_ class."

The students erupted in giggles and whispers. From the back of the room, someone—Ryan wasn't sure exactly who—yelled, "They're not going out. Ryan dumped Grace because she's a cheating skank."

More laughter followed. Ryan shifted his eyes uncomfortably. Much as he despised Grace for what she had done, he didn't want her being the butt of jokes and gossip. She was the first girl he'd ever possibly loved, and didn't want to see her hurt…much.

When the commotion had settled down, Mr. Fink turned to the board and began to write, in big block letters.

THE EGG-BABY PROJECT 

Collectively the class groaned as the dusty chalk words were written. It was the dreaded project, where students were paired up and had to take care of an egg, their 'baby'. They also had to create a budget, and choose occupations from a hat.

"…and Ryan, Grace, you'll be together. Come up and get your baby and careers," Mr. Fink said. Ryan dragged his feet up to Mr. Fink's desk, while Grace bounced up cheerily.

He picked from the hat. His slip of paper read _Movie Star- $13 Million a year._ Well, at least he had a good job. Grace squealed when she unfolded her piece of paper. "I'm a part-time waitress," she wailed. "I make $4000 a year!"

The class laughed. Grace pouted. "At least I have a rich husband. I knew it was meant to be, Ryan."

Ryan rolled his eyes as a few people sniggered.

"Settle down, people," Mr. Fink said impatiently. He began to explain the purpose of the project and handed out a few pages of guidelines and forms.

The bell rang and the students quickly gathered their books and eggs. One kid, Ronnie Parker, grabbed two more eggs and began to juggle. Until he dropped two of them. Lindsay Abele screamed.

"You murdered my baby!"

Mr. Fink whistled loudly and all the students but Lindsay and Ronnie left the room. Ryan waited until Mr. Fink had chewed Ronnie and Lindsay's ears off before approaching the teacher.

"Is there any way I could change partners?" he asked.

Mr. Fink shook his head apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I chose the groups while you and Grace were still going out. But you're capable of doing this project with Grace, Ryan. I know it."

Ryan sighed. "Okay." He walked out of the classroom.

--

Ryan twirled his lock, licking his lips and tasting Hershey's chocolate and Marissa's lip-gloss. They'd split a candy bar for lunch and had ended up kissing under a tree on the quad.

Lunch had never tasted so good before.

"Hey," Summer said, leaning against the lockers, while Ryan twirled his lock even harder. It didn't budge.

"Hi, Sum." Ryan didn't look up. He struggled with his lock, and, admitting defeat, kicked the locker in aggravation.

"Move," Summer ordered. She expertly spun the lock and it clicked open.

"How'd you do that?" Ryan asked. "Wait…where'd you get my combination?"

Summer just smiled knowingly. "I heard about Fink's class."

"Yeah…"

"And I think…it's funny, and so not a big deal, but I think you should let Marissa know. Just so it doesn't get back to her…the wrong way. You know how rumors spread like wildfire around here."

"Okay." Ryan got his books out of his locker. "Gotta get to class. And I still want to know how you knew my combination." As if on cue, the bell rang.

"Tell her!" Summer warned, walking off to find Seth, because they both had a free period.

She walked down the hall and entered the student lounge. Seth was bound to be in there…or somewhere.

Two small, manicured hands covered Seth's eyes. "Summer," Seth groaned, as she began to kiss his neck. He was playing **Ms. Pacman** in the student lounge and was on level 6.

Summer removed her hands and lips from Seth's body, not without pouting. "But Seth," she whined, "I thought we were going to spend our free period together."

"We can," Seth said, focusing intently on the game. He paused for a minute, licking his lips and biting the bottom one nervously. "You can watch me play, you know, cheer me on!"

Summer rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "Because _that's_ my idea of fun." The game began to emit noise and Seth turned around and kissed Summer on the forehead. He whipped his head back around a second later.

"I'm on level seven, Summer!"

Summer stood there, watching, for a few minutes. It was enough. Enough was enough. She wasn't going to waste her free period watching Seth play a video game he had at home.

"I'm leaving, since playing a game you own is _so_ much more appealing than spending time with your girlfriend," she mumbled, walking to the door.

_Five, four, three, two, _Summer counted mentally.

"Wait, Summer!" Summer heard Seth calling her name, his footsteps growing louder. She walked out the door coolly, pretending she didn't hear him.

Suddenly she was spun around by the shoulders. "I want to spend time with you Summer."

She glared at Seth. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really," Seth answered, kissing Summer on the lips. Summer pulled away.

"Uh-uh," she said, grinning while Seth began to mope. "Kidding." She returned the kiss, and looped her fingers in Seth's belt loops.

Mr. Fink walked down the hall. "Don't you two have somewhere to be?" he said, furrowing his brow disgustedly.

"No, actually," Summer told him.

"Well don't loiter in the halls. Go somewhere. You can't be in the halls," Mr. Fink said, and then shuddered at his own remark. Summer and Seth grinned like idiots at each other. Had a teacher just told them to pretty much 'get a room'?

"You have a good day now, Mr. Fink," Seth called after the teacher, who was hurriedly retreating. He wrapped his arm around Summer and began to walk down the hall. They exited the school and walked out to a shady spot on the quad. They sat down, Seth's head in Summer's lap, and she began to idly play with his brown curls.

"You've got gorgeous hair," Summer commented.

"Why, thank you," Seth replied in a girlish, high-pitched voice. "I got it done just last weekend!"

Summer rolled her eyes and kissed Seth's nose. "You look funny from this angle."

"Thanks," Seth smiled. "I am still adorable, though?"

"Of course." Summer rumpled Seth's hair. "Do I look funny?"

"You never look funny," Seth answered, and got another kiss. "I feel like Spiderman."

"Why?"

"You know, that upside-down kiss he had?"

"What a loser…" Summer smiled tenderly, and lay down so her shoulder was touching Seth's.

--

"Psst…Ryan." Ryan looked around to see who was whispering his name—and failing miserably.

Mrs. Douglas was writing notes on the board and most of the class was copying them down. Behind Ryan was Rocky, who was trying to get Ryan's attention.

Ryan turned around, and in a low voice, "What?"

"What's the deal with you and Marissa…or is it Grace?"

"Grace and I are over. I caught her with Mr. Jarrett." Ryan turned around when Mrs. Douglas cleared her throat. The woman cast a stern look in Ryan's direction, then began to write on the board again. "And Marissa and I…we've gone out a few times."

"So is she your girlfriend?"

"Mr. Atwood, please pay attention," Mrs. Douglas snapped, and Ryan turned his head around.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and began to copy down the notes on the board.

Mrs. Douglas nodded curtly and wrote a few more things on the board. Ryan turned back around. "I guess so," he whispered to Rocky.

Rocky grimaced as soon as Ryan's back was turned. "Dude, why'd you have to take over my territory?"

"I'm sorry…but she likes me, Rocky. Don't you get it?"

"Some friend you are."

--

Ryan slammed his locker shut and swung his backpack over his shoulders. He hadn't seen Marissa all day for some reason…and he had this feeling he should tell her about Fink's class as soon as possible. That, and his fear of Summer, propelled him to search for Marissa.

He walked down the hall alongside Nikki, Leah, and a few of Grace's friends…if they were still her friends. He could hear them gossiping—what else was new?

"I heard that Marissa wanted Seth, but since Summer already had him, she settled for Ryan."

"Really? Like, I so thought that she wanted Summer…but obviously couldn't have her!"

"She's had it in for Grace since she arrived. But at least Ryan's not with _that_ cheating bitch any more."

"Who would cheat on Ryan? I wouldn't."

"I wouldn't!"

"It's not fair that _she_ got him though…why should she get him? She's only been here for, like, a couple of weeks!"

Ryan spotted Marissa and his face lit up. He slowed down his pace though, wanting Nikki and her posse to pass before he spoke to Marissa. But they stopped in front of Marissa's locker, where she was gathering her books, and at the same time stopped their vicious talking.

"Hey Marissa." Ryan heard Nikki say. He stopped where he was and listened to their conversation.

"We were wondering…do you want to go shopping with us?" Leah asked. She had long, light brown hair and was impossibly skinny for a girl her height. Being 5 foot 8 and a size 2 was freakishly thin.

"Um…sure," Marissa replied. "But I don't think Grace wou—"

"Grace isn't coming," Leah interrupted.

"Okay," Marissa said slowly.

"Great! We'll go tomorrow after school," Nikki smiled, waved, and sauntered off. Leah and two other girls followed suit, but one girl, Tiffany, stayed to tell Marissa something.

Ryan felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Grace, egg in hand, smiling suggestively. "I was abou—"

"Your 'girlfriend' is busy right now," Grace said coolly. "You can spare a second."

"What do you want?" Ryan ran a hand through his sandy colored hair.

Grace pointed to the egg. "We need to discuss our egg-baby project, hubby."

"Don't call me that," Ryan sighed, but followed Grace into an empty classroom.

Marissa finished talking with Tiffany, who'd invited her to movie night at her house on Saturday. Of course, Tiffany said for Marissa to bring Ryan. Speaking of Ryan, Marissa could've sworn she'd seen him during her talk with Tiffany and her friends. But now, the halls were pretty much deserted, and Ryan was nowhere in sight. Maybe he was in the parking lot or on the quad with his friends.

She heard two people discussing the events of Mr. Fink's class. Something about him mistaking Ryan for being Grace's boyfriend and how they were partners for the egg-baby project…

Marissa walked by a classroom and heard voices, so she peeked into the open door. Ryan and Grace were sitting at a table, and Grace was hovering over Ryan.

"Come on Ryan, it will be good for us," Grace was saying.

"I don't know," Ryan answered.

What were they talking about? Marissa wasn't sure, but it sounded suspicious…

"Baby, we should be together, even the teachers agree," Grace said, stroking Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan stood up so he was facing Grace. Their faces were really, really close, too close for comfort in Marissa's opinion. "Grace," he began. But Marissa didn't wait to hear what he was going to say next. She'd heard enough…

--

"Hey Sum," Ryan said, when Summer answered the phone. "Is Marissa there?"

"Yeah," Summer said tiredly, "I'll get her in a second." Ryan heard her calling Marissa's name. "So, did you tell her? She seemed, like, kind of upset after school. And why didn't you give her a ride home?"

"Um…she left without me?"

"I'll go get her," Summer sighed and put the phone down on the counter. "Marissa, phone's in the kitchen." 

"Hello?"

"Why'd you leave without me today?"

"Why'd you not tell me about Fink's class? And why are you getting back together with Grace?" Marissa spat out angrily.

"Wait a second…I was going to tell you about Fink's class, I didn't think it was that big of a deal so I didn't rush to find you. I couldn't find you. And why would I be getting back together with Grace? I'm with you," Ryan answered, puzzled.

Marissa walked out of the kitchen with the cordless phone and up the stairs. "That's not what I saw—and heard—earlier."

"What are you talking about?" Ryan wondered.

"Don't play stupid—I saw you in that classroom with Grace. And you guys were making up!" Marissa went into her bathroom, opening the cabinet and taking out a bottle of Tylenol. She reached behind the toilet for a small, travel size bottle of shampoo…only there was vodka in there, not shampoo.

"We were _not_ making up!" Ryan retorted. "Why were you spying on me? We were just discussing our project, you know, the egg-baby project that Mr. Fink made us partners for? Maybe if you came to me instead of assuming, you'd know!"

"But you guys were so close…almost kissing. And you were talking about getting back together," Marissa paused, shoved two pills into her mouth, and took a gulp of the vodka to wash it down.

"_Grace_ was talking about getting back together," Ryan amended.

"I have to go," Marissa replied.

"Are you mad at me?"

"So what if I am?" She clicked off, leaving Ryan with a dial tone and a mind racing a million miles a minute. She shoved two more pills into her mouth and crawled to her bed, reaching under it for a bigger bottle of vodka. She washed the pills down with four generous gulps, then two more for effect.

Screw Ryan. She didn't need anyone. Marissa was already alone, as far as she was concerned.

--

"This boat is _so_ unsafe," Summer complained, as Seth raised the sail.

"Yet you still come on it, time after time," Seth remarked, and Summer smacked him on the head. "Hey! Watch it, I'm trying to put the sail up."

"I don't want to go anymore," Summer pouted, pulling Seth down on top of her.

"We…Okay, we could just do this," Seth decided, "But let's go out to the middle of the marina; it'll be more private."

He finished raising the sail and they quickly caught the wind. When they'd gotten pretty far out, Seth lowered the sail.

"Much better," Summer complimented Seth, before pulling him down on top of her again. They began to kiss, Summer running her hands through Seth's curly mop of hair. They rolled over so Summer was on top of Seth, beginning to intensify the kisses. More passionate and more wild, more urgent, Seth lost track of time and whereabouts. Only when Summer sat up did he return to Earth.

"The sun's setting," she said. "We should probably head back."

Seth nodded his head, stole one more kiss, and began to raise the sail again. While they were headed back to the docks, Summer let out a loud "Eww!"

"What?" Seth asked in a bored tone. He was used to Summer saying "Eww!" to just about anything and everything. He turned around when Summer didn't answer and saw a fish flopping around on Summer. "You caught a fish!"

"Get it off me Cohen," Summer screamed, a murderous look in her eyes. Seth lunged for the fish, but it slipped out of his fingers and landed on Summer's face. "Eww!"

Seth couldn't help but laugh but he quickly bit his tongue after seeing the deathly glare in Summer's eyes. He knew he'd be getting hell later. Gingerly, Seth slid the fish off of Summer's body, and pushed it into the water.

Summer spluttered and spit in Seth's face. "Cohen! That was so…eww!"

Seth leaned over and kissed Summer, and made a face. "Eww is right."

"Shut up!" Summer wrapped her arms around Seth's neck and began to kiss him.

"Well, fish _is_ my favorite dish," Seth told Summer, once he'd come up for air.

"Oh, Cohen," Summer rolled her eyes and kissed her boyfriend again.

--

"I don't know what to do," Ryan told Seth on the way to school. Mr. Roberts, making a rare appearance, had shown up last night and insisted upon driving Summer and Marissa to school, before he left on yet another business trip.

"I hate to say it…but Summer was right," Seth grinned. "You should've told her right away. But just keep telling her you're sorry. Eventually, she'll forgive you."

"I don't know…Marissa's different," Ryan tried to explain it to Seth.

"Summer is the hardest girlfriend to please. If I can do it with her, you can definitely do it with Marissa," Seth said confidently. He turned into the parking lot of Harbor and pulled up between a Boxster and a Lexus. "I'll put in a good word for you, if you want."

"Thanks man."

They walked onto the quad, where most of the students were milling about before first period. A bunch of Ryan's jock friends were throwing a football around, and of course the cheerleaders were trying to look cool and casual but really scoping out the guys. Seth saw Summer and waved. "Summer!"

Summer brightened when she saw Seth waving and hurried over to the two boys. "Hey," she gave Seth a kiss on the cheek and Ryan a smile.

"Where's Marissa?" Ryan asked. He was going to have to try and make her talk to him, listen to him. He knew he could make her understand. It was all a big misunderstanding.

Summer looked around. "I don't know. She ditched me as soon as my dad dropped us off. Maybe she had to talk to a teacher or something…"

Seth found the opportune moment for putting in a good word for Ryan. "So, Summer," he said casually, "I was telling Ryan we'd do him a favor and put in a good word with Marissa…"

"And?" Summer raised her expertly waxed eyebrows expectantly.

"I was hoping you could put in a good word…" Seth finished, smiling.

"Okay, but only if you come with me." Summer dragged Seth away by the arm, leaving Ryan standing by himself. His friends were way too perfect for each other.

"Hey!" A voice from behind Ryan. He turned around and saw Tom. "How's Marissa?"

"Good, I guess," Ryan said. He didn't need Tom knowing he and Marissa were in a fight, because it was common knowledge that Tom liked Marissa.

"Good." Tom seemed to be searching for something to say. "So…uh, you guys are dating?"

"You could say that," Ryan shrugged. Were they dating? He wasn't sure at this point.

"Oh," Tom said. "Well, I'll see you in Dobson's class, I guess."

Ryan nodded as Tom walked away. _That_ had been awkward. He walked over to John and a few other guys on the team, and began to talk about sports.

Meanwhile, Summer and Seth were walking around, looking for Marissa. They found her talking to Leah and Tiffany, two of Summer's good friends. Once they were done, Summer and Seth went up to Marissa.

"Were they giving you trouble?" Summer asked worriedly. The last thing she wanted was her friends being mean to her cousin, whom she now liked.

"No," Marissa smiled slightly, her eyes traveling past Summer, "We're going shopping after school. You can come, if you want."

"Good for you! That's okay, I have a date with Seth," Summer said. Wow. Her friends actually liked Marissa? She hadn't even had to intervene! Summer had to give Marissa credit; the girl was good at making friends—and enemies as well.

"So, Marissa," Seth began, ignoring the warning look from Summer. "I have to tell you something important, so please just hear me out."

Marissa crossed her arms. "Go ahead." Her head was still throbbing from last night's drinking and Tylenol binge. She hadn't been able to cut herself, for some reason. She guessed she was no longer capable of that much pain in one night. Had she ever had the capacity to do that much damage to her body?

"Ryan likes you. A lot. And he was going to tell you about Fink's class, but he didn't get to you in time. And he most definitely wouldn't get back with Grace, not after what she did…and especially not after you," Seth told her. Marissa's heart softened a little. Seth was a great guy. Summer was truly blessed.

"I don't know…" Marissa began. "The whole thing just seems fishy to me."

At the word 'fishy', Summer snorted and began to crack up. Seth shook his head. "Long story. Don't mind her. But at least talk to Ryan. He cares about you and doesn't want to lose you…he's barely had you!"

"Okay," Marissa considered this. "Thanks, Seth." She gave Summer a weird, questioning look and walked away, hopefully in search of Ryan.

**A/N:** So this chapter was kind of dull, I guess, but it's leading up to some good stuff! I promise you, there will be a few cute R/M moments and as always, some S/S awwness. Chapter 15 should be up by tonight; I've got it written down and just need to type it up. I also have Chapter 16 written, so that'll be on your screens soon! Sorry if this chapter sucked, hopefully 15 will make up for it! Review, please.


	15. Why Are Things So Complicated?

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 15: Why are things so complicated?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.****

**A/N:** As always, thanks for reviewing. Next chapter I'll do individual thank you's. But you guys are the best, in case you didn't know it! Keep it up!

Marissa didn't spot Ryan until lunch. He was sitting with Rocky, John, Eric, and a few other guys she'd seen around but didn't know by name.

"Ryan," she said, walking over to the table.

"Hey." Ryan's face lit up but his voice remained monotonous.

"Can we talk?" Marissa asked, smiling at the other boys who were saying hi to her. And checking her out as well.

"Sure," Ryan replied, leaving his tray on the table and muttering something to the guys. He put his hands in his pockets and followed Marissa. They sat out under a tree on the quad, surrounded by groups of students eating lunch, laughing, and gossiping. Even with all the chaos around them, Marissa and Ryan would be able to talk uninterrupted.

"I should've believed you," Marissa began, when they'd gotten situated under the tree. Ryan's shoulder was touching Marissa's and she could feel a jolt of electricity running through her body from where they touched. She subtly inched her body closer to his.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," Marissa said, and turned so her face was mere inches away from Ryan's. "Do you forgive me?"

Ryan kissed Marissa on the lips, tasting her cherry lip-gloss and gently exploring the confines of her mouth. She was so smooth and glossy and delicate, he was afraid he'd damage her. Marissa intensified the kiss, cupping Ryan's face in her hand and attacking his mouth.

"I didn't take you to be the aggressive type," Ryan grinned, pulling away from Marissa. It was hard to do, quite honestly. He leaned back in and let Marissa take over. Things were good.

--

Grace spotted Leah and Nikki, two of her closer friends, eating lunch together. She hurried over to the table and set her tray down. It was laden with fruit salad, a Greek salad, and a bottle of water.

"Hey," she smiled ignoring the cold looks she received in return. "Are we still on for this afternoon?"

Nikki and Leah exchanged a look. "Actually, Grace," Nikki said coolly, "Leah and I have plans. Something came up." Leah smiled sweetly at Grace and stood up.

"Come on, Nikki, we've got to go," Leah said. "Bye, Grace."

The two girls hurried off, heads close together. They were already laughing and whispering about Grace, no doubt. Grace sat at their table alone, wondering what could've possibly come up. And then she knew. She'd seen Nikki and the girls talking with Marissa yesterday.

Marissa.

She was invading Grace's perfect, or at least seemingly perfect life. First she'd taken Ryan, and Summer, who was supposed to be Grace's best friend. Not to mention that Ryan had been her boyfriend for ages. And they were supposed to be together…forever. Now, she was moving on to Grace's friends, the superficial girls she ruled the school with. Life was so not fair. And it was so not supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to become the outcast. Never…it was all Marissa's fault.

Grace would get her back, get her good, make her wish she'd never set foot in Newport. It was Grace's throne after all, she couldn't be threatened or bothered by a lowly servant from Chino.

The first item on the agenda would be to break Ryan and Marissa up, since that obviously hadn't worked. Ryan was _so_ upset that Marissa was mad at him, and they were probably making up—and out—right about now.

--

"Marissa, wait up," Grace called, her Prada Mary-Jane's tapping on the linoleum floor. Marissa turned around, almost at the end of the hallway, getting ready to enter a classroom.

Marissa waited while Grace clicked her heels along the floor. "I think we've both got that special Health class today," Grace groaned, trying to play the part of friend to Marissa.

"Yeah." Marissa seemed undecided on whether or not she should be nice to Grace. Apparently she'd decided on neutral. "I think it starts in a minute or so."

Grace couldn't help but notice Marissa's new clothes. They looked like they didn't quite fit right; she wasn't accustomed to wearing expensive clothes, and the clothes were obviously not used to being worn by a girl like her. They didn't look bad…Marissa just looked out of place in them.

Still, Marissa was pretty—there was no doubt about it. And she was thin, thin enough and tall enough to be a model. She definitely could've been one. Grace had always secretly wanted to be a model, but she would never be tall enough, nor did she have that classical look to her.

The two girls sat down in the back of the room, while their classmates chattered excitedly before class started. A short, stout woman with curly red hair came into the classroom, wearing a dark suit and carrying a tote bag.

"Girls, please." The woman called for quiet. "I'm Miss Roster and I'll be teaching this Health class. Every day for the next week and a half I'll be here to answer your questions and ask you some as well."

Grace raised her hand. Since Ryan was there, she could at least spread some rumors around. "What should we do if we think a friend might be pregnant?" she asked, looking at Marissa.

"I would first of all ask the friend, because only she would know for sure if she was pregnant. Then, I guess you would tell an adult, her parents maybe, if she wouldn't. It's a serious matter that shouldn't be kept secret," Miss Roster answered. The girls looked at Grace, who was smiling at Marissa.

"Thank you, Miss Roster, I'll talk to her after class," she said, still looking at Marissa. The other girls stared at Marissa and began to whisper among themselves.

A tall girl who rivaled Marissa in absence of a waist walked up to Marissa after class. "I'm Julie," she extended her slender hand, "And I just wanted to say I'm here for you if you need anything. And I'll get my boyfriend to beat up whoever knocked you up, if you want."

"Thanks," Marissa said, completely and utterly confused. "But I'm not pregnant."

Julie's hazel eyes with specks of green in them opened wide. "You're not? But Grace…she said—"

"Do you believe everything Grace says?" Marissa asked coolly, knowing her point had been made. "Can you really trust her?"

Julie considered this, then broke out into a huge grin. "You're totally right," she declared, "I bet Grace is just jealous because you got Ryan. Who, by the way, is totally hot."

"Thanks…Julie, right?" Marissa said, smiling.

"Yeah. So I'll see you around?" Julie tucked a lock of her pale blond hair behind her ear and walked away.

Grace was standing behind Marissa, out of sight. She'd heard the whole conversation, and, quite frankly, was furious. It wasn't fair that Marissa was getting lucky like that. And why were Grace's friends turning against her?

"Hey Marissa." Grace sidled up next to the girl, who had rolled up her sleeves and was running fingers over bruised red wrists. "What happened?" She innocently pointed to Marissa's arms.

Embarrassed, Marissa quickly pulled her sleeves down. "I fell down the stairs," she offered. But Grace knew the girl was lying. It was so obvious.

"Oh." Grace put her hand on her hip. "So, I'm guessing you heard that Ryan and I are partners for the egg-baby project."

"Yeah," Marissa smiled faintly. She was a little dizzy. Maybe it was the fresh wound she'd created on her leg in between 1st and 2nd period.

"We're actually going out tonight. Ryan says it's to work on the project, but we both know better." Grace winked at the girl. Marissa's eyes flared.

"Really?" Suddenly alert, Marissa leaned in towards Grace. "Well…have fun, I guess."

"I will," Grace smiled knowingly. "I'll call you and tell you all about it, if I'm not out too late. The pier's so beautiful at night…"

Marissa nodded and quickly hurried away. So Ryan had lied to her. It was one big, fat lie after another. She wondered what else he'd been lying about, if he'd told her the truth about anything.

--

"Where are you going?" Summer asked Marissa, twirling lo-mein around her silver fork. Marissa was dressed in a ratty sweatshirt and jeans that looked so old they couldn't even be classified as vintage.

"I want to take a walk on the beach," Marissa said. She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, opening Ashley's liquor cabinet and taking out a bottle of tequila. The woman wouldn't notice if some was missing…at least Marissa hoped not. She'd stumbled upon the cabinet earlier in the day, and had already used it twice.

"Where'd you get those clothes?" Summer called from the other room. Marissa could picture her cousin wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"They're mine," Marissa replied. She felt most comfortable in her own clothes, they were like a second skin to her. Summer's fancy clothes made her uncomfortable, nervous that she'd ruin them. She didn't need, or deserve clothes like that. It made Marissa sick to think of how much a simple tank top cost in Summer's world. Probably more than the price of three tank tops Marissa would buy.

"Oh," Summer said. "Well, have fun."

Marissa let herself out of the house, but not before she took a few more generous swigs of the tequila. Don Julio's, it was fancier and Marissa assumed it would be pricier than the stuff she drank, but it was good nonetheless.

She got into Summer's car and sped off to the pier, driving a bit faster than she should've, especially in her already tipsy condition. When Marissa arrived at the pier she parked and walked onto the beach in the direction of a large, dancing bonfire. A bunch of guys were laughing and drinking.

They all turned around when she walked by. "Hey," Marissa said. She hadn't seen the boys at Harbor before.

"You want something to drink?" one of the guys, a tall kid with light brown hair, asked Marissa. She accepted his cup and chugged it. The guys cheered when she was done.

"What's your name?" another brown haired boy asked.

"Marissa," she told them. The first boy refilled her cup, and she quickly got to finishing it. "What is this?"

"Banana rum and coke," the second boy answered. Marissa sipped it, wincing slightly at the sweet, syrupy rum. It was good, anything was good, anything to get her mind off of Ryan and…that skank.

After an hour, Marissa was almost ready to pass out. She got the guys' numbers written on her arms and stomach. They went to Palisades, so that explained why she hadn't recognized them. She lurched up the stairs onto the pier, and headed towards the Crab Shack. She pulled open the door and immediately spotted Grace and Ryan in the crowded restaurant.

Unfortunately, Grace saw Marissa before Ryan did, and leaned across the table and kissed Ryan. Caught off guard, Ryan kissed Grace back. Marissa saw Ryan, his eyes closed, he seemed to be enjoying the kiss. Very much enjoying it. Hot tears sprung to her eyes and she let out a small yelp.

Ryan opened his eyes and realized who he'd been kissing. Grace. All the while he'd been thinking of kissing Marissa. He heard a small cry and saw Marissa standing by the door, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Marissa," Ryan shouted, standing up. She shook her head at him and ran out of the door.

"Ryan." Grace put her hand on Ryan's. "Let her go. I'm here."

"You're here, but I should be there," Ryan snapped. "I'll see you in school." He quickly strode towards the door.

"Bye, honey. I'll see you later," Grace called after Ryan, while all the other patrons stared disbelievingly at her. She glared at a few of them and they soon turned their attention back to their meals.

Grace sat alone at the table until the waiter came back. "Check, please," she sighed.

Ryan looked from one side of the pier to the other, but there was no Marissa. He took the steps down to the beach two by two, and saw a large bonfire with a group of guys gathered around it.

"You seen a tall, skinny girl named Marissa?" he asked a brown haired boy who was drinking from a plastic yellow cup.

"Nah…she was here earlier, like, hours ago, man," the boy replied, sipping his drink slowly. He was obviously already wasted, and having trouble not spilling the drink. "If she comes back I'll let her know you came…"

"I'm Ryan," Ryan said. "Thanks, man."

He walked back up the stairs, disappointed. Ryan didn't know what Grace had said to Marissa before, but she'd ignored him at the end of the day and didn't answer the phone when he'd tried calling her. All Ryan wanted to do was make things right with Marissa. He really liked her, cared about her.

--

"Seth," Summer pursed her lips nervously. "I have to tell you something, but don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Of course, baby. What's bothering you?" Seth kissed his girlfriend's forehead. She was so beautiful. He would make it all right. Anything. No matter what it was, Seth would fix it for Summer.

"It's Marissa…"

"Is she okay?" Seth asked. Marissa hadn't been in school for a few days. Not since the day she'd seen Grace and Ryan at the Crab Shack. Seth had heard about the fiasco from Ryan.

"Not really," Summer admitted. "I think she's been drinking. I checked my stepmom's liquor cabinet the other day and a lot was missing. My parents aren't even home and I certainly don't drink…at least not during the school week."

Seth put his hand over his mouth. "Have you talked to her about it? Sum, this is serious. You've got to tell someone, or talk to her."

"No, Seth," Summer pleaded with Seth, putting her hands against his chest. "Don't tell anyone, please. I'll talk to her. It's just kind of hard because she's locked herself in her room."

"Okay," Seth said. But of course he had to tell someone in turn…

"So don't tell Summer I told you, okay?" Seth said to Ryan. They were in the student lounge by the **Ms. Pacman** machine.

"I won't," Ryan promised. Seth expertly maneuvered the joystick on the machine. "But I've got to see her. At least try to help her and make her forgive me. Nothing's going right with her."

"I know it's hard, man." Seth patted Ryan on the back while he advanced to the next level of the game. "Look, I'm going to the skate park tomorrow after school so why don't you give Summer a ride home…how does that sound? That way, you can talk to Marissa."

"Good idea."

"Yeah…shut up, I need my concentration."

--

"Hey Summer, get in." Ryan rolled down the window of the Range Rover in front of Summer, who was talking with Nikki and Nikki's boyfriend Alex.

"I'm waiting for Seth," Summer said. She was wearing a bright yellow zip up jacket and a barely there ruffled white skirt. Ryan had to admit, she looked pretty good.

"No, you're not. Seth went to the skate park with a few friends," Ryan told Summer. "Get in."

Summer bid Nikki and Alex goodbye and got in the passenger seat. "Are we going to your house? Because I'm starved and there's, like, no food at my house."

Ryan shook his head. "I want to see Marissa. So we're going to your house."

Summer stiffened. "No…Marissa's sick," she insisted, "she won't come out of her room."

"Well then I'd better see that she's okay. I know she's mad at me, Summer, but I need to see her. And make things alright again."

"Fine," Summer shrugged, "But if she gets mad, I had nothing to do with it."

They pulled up to Summer's house ten minutes later. Traffic had surprisingly been light. Ryan turned off the car and followed Summer into the house. He set his backpack down on the kitchen table and went upstairs.

Knocking sharply on Marissa's closed bedroom door, Ryan pressed his ear against the door. He didn't hear anything, and tried the doorknob. It was locked and didn't budge. Ryan reached into his pocket and took out his wallet, and got a credit card out. He slid it on the side of the door and it opened. Snazzy. He'd learned the trick when he was nine. It was sad, but really came in handy sometimes.

"Marissa?" Ryan called out, opening the door. The covers on her bed were all tangled, and Marissa was clearly not in them. He heard a soft sobbing coming from the bathroom. Gray-white light was filtering in through the closed curtains in Marissa's room, casting an eerie shadow across Ryan's face. He walked into the bathroom and saw Marissa on the floor, leaning up against the toilet.

Her face was deathly pale, and she had a razor in hand. A bottle of Jack Daniel's rested on the tiled floor. There was a fresh trail of blood surrounding her.

"Marissa," Ryan began to panic. "Oh, my God."

He crouched down and looked Marissa in the eyes. She was still breathing, he could feel her faint breath upon his face and smell the strong whiskey.

"Say something," he urged. "Anything!"

Fear in her eyes, Marissa sat there, motionless. Ryan began to shake her. "Marissa, let me know you're okay. Don't do this…don't do this…"

He was close to tears by now. This was his entire fault, sort of. He should've seen this coming. Ryan wanted anything but Marissa to hurt herself. She didn't deserve this. She didn't need to do this. She had him…then Ryan remembered. He'd betrayed her, or at least that's how it had seemed.

"Why are you doing this?" Ryan screamed. He could hear Summer's footsteps coming closer to the bedroom, her shouts worrisome.

"Ryan," Marissa whispered, closing her eyes. Ryan kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

He'd help her…he had to. Ryan didn't want to lose possibly the best thing that had happened to him in a while.

Marissa.

She went limp in Ryan's arms, and he knew that she'd passed out, probably from combined blood loss and too much alcohol.

"I think…I…love…you," Ryan murmured, closing his eyes and holding Marissa close to his heart.

**A/N:** Haha, I'm so evil to leave it there. I hope this chapter was enjoyable. Please review. Next chapter is good, I already have chapter 17 planned out too. I should have 16 up by Wednesday night, so be on the lookout for it!


	16. We'll Get Through This, Won't We?

On the Flip Side 

****

**Chapter 16: We'll get through this, won't we?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N:** OMG! I am so sorry for the late update. I was out of my house for like a week and all of my notes as well as my own computer were not available to me. Anyways, some shout outs to the reviewers, you guys are the best!!

Emily-Sorry for the cliffhanger, but it's what I do best ;) 

_BenIsSexy-_I absolutely love sweet Ryan, but then again who doesn't? And Grace is evil, isn't she? Don't worry, stuff is going to come back and bite her in the ass sooner than later (a la Luke, if you catch my drift…)

_Reviewer-_Yes! Someone got that TJ comparison! I was going to make Ryan drunk but then I thought…I have another idea, so yeah. Lol, thanks!

_Katieshaz-_Thanks so much! I'm always on ff.net when I'm supposed to be studying or doing homework too. Grace is nasty. For now.

_Natalie-_The thing is, Marissa has no reason not to believe Grace…sort of. She knows that Ryan and Grace are partners for the egg project, and that obviously they need to get together. The other part—whether it's a date or not—Marissa wanted to find out for herself, to see if Ryan was a liar. She just had to see. But I totally understand your point—when I went back and read chapter 15 I got what you were saying. Thanks!__

_Theresa-_ Shooting her...nah, I'm not that mean. But I'm not totally against locking her in a closet. Lol. Don't worry. Ryan and Marissa will work out their problems--soon. That is, until a fresh batch of drama heads their way.__

_Sis2AcesarSalad-_ Even though she's happy with Ryan, at least in the beginning, cutting herself is not something she can just stop. With all that's been going on in Marissa's life lately, it's not so easy as 'I have a boyfriend so I will stop doing this to myself'. It just doesn't work that way. She does jump to conclusions too much, I totally agree, but look on the show--there is a little of Ryan and Marissa in her. On the show, both of those characters act rashly sometimes. Don't worry--more talking will ensue and Ryan's going to help Marissa get help. And the 'I think I love you' part wasn't meant to be like does he or doesn't he…it was just Ryan letting himself and everyone know that he's falling for Marissa and could quite possibly love her already.__

_Newportbabe44-_Lol…burning in a bonfire…hmm, I'll have to think about that one. Read my other notes about Ryan's help, etc. The 'R' will come into play soon, and the numbers all over her stomach were by drunk guys to a drunk Marissa. So while it wasn't the smartest thing, she wasn't exactly thinking clearly. The kiss between Grace and Ryan…I thought I explained it but, basically Grace saw Marissa come into the Crab Shack so she kissed Ryan. And he was caught off guard and kissed her back until he realized it was Grace. His mind was so on Marissa that he thought he was kissing her for a second, because she's always on his mind.

_Carpanthers21-_Yep, you're the best, and I'm the evil one! Rhyming now are we? Well Grace will be put in her place soon enough.

_Sanddollar527, Benzbabidoll-_Thanks so much!__

_IloveBen14-_Sorry for the late update. And thank you very much.

_Diablo17-_Please read what I wrote to newportbabe44 to understand why Ryan thought he was kissing Marissa for a second. Thanks!

_Whit-_Thank you…you have no idea how much. That is probably the greatest compliment, saying what you did. Thank you again!

On with the story (sorry for such long responses to the reviewers)     

"Ryan, where are we?" Marissa asked, rubbing her eyes. Ryan put his hand over Marissa's.

"Don't flip out," he said, "but we're at the hospital."

"What?" Marissa stared angrily at Ryan. "I don't need to be in the hospital! What is wrong with you?"

"Marissa," Ryan pleaded, "Please, you have to understand. You passed out, you had alcohol poisoning. I had to take you here. I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"Well that's really sweet," Marissa snapped, "But I don't need your help or concern."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "I care about you, Marissa. I just want to help you get through this."

Luckily, Marissa didn't have time to snap at Ryan again, because a young doctor entered the room.

"Oh, you're up," the doctor said cheerfully, walked over to Marissa's bed. "I'm Dr. Pertly."

"Hi," Marissa muttered. Dr. Pertly didn't seem to take notice of Marissa's less than chipper attitude.

"Now, Marissa, we have some things to discuss." He took out a pen from his pocket and a piece of paper from the folder he was holding. "Do you remember how much you drank yesterday?"

Marissa shook her head. Yesterday's events were quite blurry…she almost remembered Ryan saying her loved her…but that couldn't have been true, he barely knew her.

Dr. Pertly laughed. "You drank a lot. Too much, in fact, enough to get you into the emergency room to have your stomach pumped.

"I guess I didn't realize how much I was drinking," Marissa said softly. "I normally have a high alcohol tolerance."

"Well, missy, you shouldn't be drinking anyway. You're only sixteen. But that'll be our little secret, Marissa. Now, another thing, it's serious. If you'd like, I can ask Mr. Atwood to leave the room, if you'd rather we discuss this privately.

"He can stay," Marissa decided, holding Ryan's hand tightly.

"There are cut marks on your wrists and thighs. Marissa, this is a very serious matter. Cutting is not something we let go lightly. You're hurting yourself, plain and simple. There's no other way to say it. The reasons why may differ from person to person, but it's wrong."

"Well what do you expect me to do?" Marissa was close to tears now. How dare he accuse her of doing something wrong? She couldn't help it, God knows if she could she wouldn't be doing it. "I can't help it."

Dr. Pertly realized how Marissa had taken his words, and began, more gently this time. "I know, Marissa. That's why you're going to get help. You will get past this. Mr. Atwood has assured me he'll keep a close eye on you, and provide a shoulder to cry on. You're living with the Roberts, correct?"

Marissa nodded. "I'm fine, honestly," she said, but she wasn't even fooling herself.

"Mr. And Mrs. Roberts could not be reached, but I left a message with Mr. Roberts' secretary. We'll be discussing treatment options with them once we contact them. For now, you'll be in the hospital for a few more days—just so we can run a few tests and whatnot. Then, we're releasing you, although somewhat reluctantly, to Ryan's family, the Cohens, as Mr. Roberts' secretary has been given permission to handle you. She agreed that it would be best for you to stay with the Cohens until the Roberts come home. And I just don't feel right releasing you if you're going to be alone in the Roberts house with just their daughter."

Marissa nodded again. This was just too much for her to process right now. She was feeling a little lightheaded, probably from the drugs they'd given her in the hospital.

"Oh, and Marissa?" Dr. Pertly said, as he put the paper back in the folder and tucked the pen into his coat, "you'll be meeting with a counselor three days a week, to talk about all three of your destructive habits."

"All three?" Ryan asked. He was only aware now of the cutting and drinking. Was there more? Even if there was, he'd help Marissa get through it. He would, because he loved her.

Dr. Pertly looked surprised. "Why, I'm not really authorized to tell you that. But if Marissa would like to share that information with you, she's welcome to."

"I don't want to tell him," Marissa said flatly. "You can."

Dr. Pertly sighed. "With your permission…Marissa's borderline bulimic and has struggled with anorexia for years. We've got you hooked up to an IV Marissa, because your body is under nourished. Until you can learn good eating habits, we'll be monitoring what you eat very closely. But you'll be told of all the changes you're going to have to make at your first meeting with the counselor. We'll give you a schedule in a few days when you're checking out. Have a good day."

Once the doctor left, Marissa turned to Ryan. "I understand if you want to leave," she said quietly.

"Why would I leave?" Ryan looked shocked.

"Because I'm pathetic, look at me Ryan!" Marissa cried. She did look somewhat pathetic. Her skin was pasty white, she was in a hospital hooked up to an IV. But to Ryan, she was beautiful nonetheless.

"You're beautiful, and definitely not pathetic," Ryan insisted. And it was true. He had never met a more beautiful person, at least not in his eyes.

"But before I came, you had this perfect life. And I screwed it up."

Ryan got down on his knees so he was eye level with Marissa. "My life wasn't perfect until you came along."

Marissa's lips met Ryan's and her eyes fluttered as they kissed. "Oh Ryan…I don't deserve you."

"Shh." And Ryan silenced Marissa's doubts and fears with another kiss. Marissa settled comfortably into the crook of Ryan's neck and began to cover it was a blanket of light kisses. She felt good right now, Ryan cared about her, she was going to get help for her problems. Everything was finally coming together.

When Marissa woke up, she was still breathing in Ryan but really needed to use the bathroom.

"I have to pee," she complained, opening her eyes and seeing Ryan's neck. She kissed it and began to whimper softly. Ryan gently unwrapped his arms from around Marissa.

"Go ahead," he laughed. Marissa whimpered and held out her arms.

"Can you carry me?" Ryan nodded, and swiftly scooped Marissa up into his arms, carrying her into the bathroom. Without a trace of modesty, Marissa dropped her pants and Ryan gasped. She had deep gashes on her thighs, they weren't too fresh, but definitely somewhat new. "Ryan…"

"You did this to yourself?" Ryan seemed skeptical, and certainly upset. How could she do this? He didn't want her to hurt anymore. He swore he'd help her, no matter what it took. Marissa finished and flushed the toilet. She stood up, still sans pants, and buried her face in Ryan's chest. Her back began to heave and Ryan could hear her sobbing, she was trying to be quiet but wasn't doing a very good job. "Shh, baby, it's okay. It's okay to cry." Ryan rubbed Marissa's back soothingly.

She turned away from Ryan and he caught a glimpse of a letter etched into her other thigh. "What's that?" he asked, trying to get a better look at the cut. Marissa tried to hide her thigh but Ryan saw the _R_ carved into Marissa's skin. He gasped again, and felt his face pale. "Marissa…"

"I didn't mean to." Marissa was crying freely now. "I didn't know that I had done it until afterwards."

Ryan stared blankly at Marissa. Quite frankly, he had no idea what Marissa meant. How could she not know what she was doing to herself? He couldn't quite believe her when she said that. Had he caused her this pain, though? Was he the cause of her self-inflicted wounds?

"I swear, Ryan…it's like my body was possessed and once I was done, I couldn't remember doing it."

"Were you drinking?" Ryan asked suspiciously.

"No." And it was the truth, for once. She hadn't been drinking. Ryan took Marissa's hand and squeezed it tight, as if afraid she'd slip away if he didn't hold her.

"I believe you," Ryan said seriously, almost convincing himself. She wouldn't lie to him…would she? She had no reason to lie to Ryan.

"I'm sorry," Marissa whispered into Ryan's shirt, soaking it with her salty tears. "I didn't mean to…"

"I know." Ryan embraced Marissa tightly. His girlfriend was breaking down before him and he didn't know what to do. He would help her, in any way that he could. "You'll get through this."

"And you?" It took Ryan a minute to realize what she was asking.

"I'll be here, with you, to help you get through everything," Ryan promised. He kissed the top of Marissa's head and she lifted her chin expectantly. Ryan kissed Marissa's pale lips, they were chapped but as he licked and nibbled them slightly they smoothed out. She was pale, too pale, and her lips reflected this. "You need some sun, baby."

"Please take me out of here," Marissa pleaded, "I can't stand it in here. I'm suffocating."

"You need help," Ryan told Marissa, "You'll go home when the doctors release you. And then you're going to stay with me."

Marissa seemed to accept this and burrowed further into Ryan's body.

--

"She's sleeping," Ryan told Summer, Seth, Kirsten, and Sandy, who were waiting by the door to Marissa's room. He turned around and looked at his beautiful, pale girlfriend, who was sleeping soundly in her bed. After shedding many more tears, she'd fallen asleep in Ryan's arms and he had carried her to the bed.

They filed into the room, being quiet, so as not to wake Marissa.

"She's really pretty," Kirsten commented. "I never really got a good look at her, but Marissa is gorgeous."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed.

"She looks so peaceful," Seth said, holding hands with Summer, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was dead."

Summer smacked him on the head. "Ow! What was that for, Summer?"

Summer rolled her eyes. "Don't play stupid…oh wait you can't help it! That was mean, and don't think I'll be so nice for a while…" She slipped her hand easily out of Seth's.

Seth turned to Summer. "Aw, Summer…no. Not the ban!"

"What ban?" Sandy asked.

"Never mind. We'll talk about this later, _Summer_." Seth said, looking meaningfully at Summer. The last thing he needed was his parents knowing about the sex ban Summer sometimes placed on him, much less the fact that he was having sex.

They watched Marissa sleep for a little longer, until she began to stir. Marissa opened her eyes and saw her friends and family standing in front of her. "Summer?"

Summer rushed to Marissa's bedside. "Oh, sweetie, are you okay? We were so worried!"

"Summer…I'm sorry…you shouldn't…can't stay alone." Marissa was almost in tears again.

"What are you talking about, Marissa?" Summer was truly concerned. Marissa wasn't making much sense to her. It was up to Ryan to fill in the blanks.

"The doctor has gotten permission to release Marissa tomorrow, but to my family," Ryan explained.

"So…I'm staying alone?" Summer's lower lip started to tremble.

"Sweetie, you'll be staying with us too!" Kirsten to the rescue! She smiled warmly at Summer. "You didn't think we'd let you stay alone in that big old house of yours, did you?"

Summer shrugged. Seth walked over to Summer and kissed her. "Mom, dad, you're letting my girlfriend stay in my house? Sweet!"

Kirsten sighed. "Oh, Seth." Sandy only grinned.

"We Cohens are very sexual beings, Kirsten," he reminded his wife, "But Seth, Summer along with Marissa will be staying in the pool house."

"Don't I know it," Kirsten agreed. Seth made a face.

"Ew, TMI, you're like, my parents!" he pouted jokingly. Sandy patted Seth on the back.

--

"We'll expect you home in forty minutes," Sandy said to his two sons and their girlfriends. They'd just checked Marissa out of the hospital and the four teens needed to go to Summer's house to get clothes for the girls.

 Summer, Marissa, Ryan, and Seth got into the Range Rover, Seth driving and Summer in the passenger seat. Ryan helped Marissa get into the backseat and then went around to the other side. Everyone was quiet for most of the ride, save the sound of Seth's music playing in the background and his and Summer's occasional squabbling. 

Once they got to Summer's house, the girls went upstairs while Ryan and Seth wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

"Don't eat!" Summer warned from upstairs, "Your mom said she was ordering dinner for when we get back."

"A little snack won't hurt us," Ryan called back, opening the freezer and taking out a pint of ice cream. He put it on the counter next to the sour cream and onion chips Seth had found. Seth opened the pantry and grabbed a bag of chocolate-chip cookies. They settled down at the counter and began to eat their 'snack'.

"Dude, mom's going to kill us," Seth remarked through a mouth full of cookie.

"Don't call me 'dude', Seth, but yeah, she'll kill us." Ryan shrugged. "Might as well eat now."

"It's like our last meal," Seth joked, and shoved a handful of chips into his mouth.

Upstairs, Marissa was in Summer's room helping her pack. Summer had already done the same for Marissa.

"The blue jacket, or yellow, or both?" Summer held up two Juicy hoodies. Marissa stared uninterestedly at both.

"Yellow," she replied impassively. Summer took the yellow jacket and threw it on top of her suitcase. She walked over to her bed and sat down next to Marissa.

"What's wrong, babe? You not feeling well or something?"

Marissa shrugged. Her head was spinning, the room was spinning, and she felt vaguely nauseous. But she didn't want to throw up anymore. She didn't want to hurt herself anymore. And she really didn't want to drink anymore. Her life was starting to come together, and she didn't want to break it apart again. It would take a while, but she'd break her bad habits and become a better person.

She would be forever grateful to Ryan, Summer, and the Cohens. They were so willing, so eager to help her that she couldn't help but want to get better.

"Well, when we get to the Cohen's house, you can lie down. And Ryan can bring you dinner in bed," Summer smiled cheerfully. Marissa had had a rough few days at the hospital, and was probably tired of the disgusting hospital food and the uncomfortable twin bed.

She finished packing. "Seth, get up here, I need you to carry my bag…no wait, Ryan, you come instead."

Marissa laughed faintly. "He loves you, you know."

"I know." The boys' footsteps were loud on the stairs. Summer sighed and slung her bag over her shoulder. "Cohen, get Marissa's bag, Ryan get in here." Marissa lay down on Summer's bed and stared up at the ceiling, which, thankfully, was not pink, unlike the rest of her room.

Ryan walked into Summer's room and Summer left the room to go help Seth with Marissa's bag, which, although quite light, was not light enough that Seth was able to handle it with his puny arms.

"Hey," he said softly, walking over to Marissa. Summer's room smelled like flowers and girly candles and whatnot. Marissa's face looked especially pale against the pink of Summer's walls, bed, and various accessories. She was tired, Ryan knew, tired to the bone.

"You ready to go to my house?" Ryan asked, sitting down next to Marissa on Summer's canopy bed. Marissa nodded, and leaned close to Ryan, snuggling against his warm body. She looked up and her eyes met his brilliant blue ones. They kissed, Marissa lazily nibbling on Ryan's lower lip, not really in a hurry to do more.

It was calming, relaxing. In the two or three days he hadn't kissed her, Ryan had only just realized how much he missed kissing her. She made him feel so alive.

"I love you," Ryan whispered, scared at how real the words sounded when Marissa was actually awake, and not half conscious. Her eyes, which were pale just like the rest of her, grew wide.

"Did you…did you say that the other night?" Marissa asked timidly, her eyelids drooped. She rested her head on Ryan's shoulder. She was so, so tired.

Ryan kissed Marissa's feather soft hair. "Yeah," he admitted, "I didn't think you had heard me though. Sorry."

"That's okay." Marissa shifted her head to a more comfortable position. Ryan wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in closer to his body. He ached for her, but now wasn't the time. She was obviously dead tired and needed to rest. He loved her. He really loved her! "We're going to get through this," Marissa said, more to herself than to Ryan. She closed her eyes more tightly and let her mind wander.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed, "We are, aren't we?"

**A/N:** So there you have it! Chapter 16. Did you like it or hate it or think it was boring or what? Let me know! And Chapter 17 will be up by Thursday night or Friday. Sorry about the long wait again!


	17. Things Were Going Great, Please Won't Yo...

**On the Flip Side**

**Chapter 17: Things Were Going Great, Please Won't You Leave It That Way?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.****

**A/N:** Okay, so this update was slightly longer than I promised, but you get the next chapter tonight! Thanks for all the encouraging reviews. Also, instead of the hospital benefit the party is for Caleb, because…well, because he's Caleb. Got it? And I know the cops scene was in a different episode than "The Perfect Couple" but I'm using it here anyway.

**Lala456-** Um, she was in the hospital for three or four days. Something like that. But I didn't want to have the whole chapter be in the hospital…ya know. And thanks so much!

**Emily-**Yeah, I always love reading what you guys have to say about the story, after all, you are what keep me writing!

**Newportbabe44-**Read on…but things are going to look up…sort of.

**Natalie-**Looking back on chapter 15, I'm not so happy with it. Glad this one is more in tune with the story.

**Reviewer-**Only the occasional chapter is going to be darker, so enjoy it while you can! Lol. Well first of all, on the show when Marissa says I love you, Ryan says thank you, and also, Marissa has just come home from the hospital, she's tired, she's on medication…she's not completely there. But don't worry, the words will be exchanged again soon enough.

**Sis2ACesarSalad-**Lol, only because it's me, right? Well I guess I left out the washing hands part but I didn't really think it was important to the story…sorry. Yeah, Marissa has a poor body image, as do most borderline (or full-blown) anorexics or bulimics. But she's going to start getting better, slowly.

**BenIsSexy-**Don't worry, the alone time will come…all in good time.

**Shouldbeblonde-**Aw you flatter me!

**Iloveben14-**thanks so much! Hope this update wasn't too late.

**Carpanthers21-**I explained why she didn't say it back to **reviewer.** Thanks so much, and yes, Ryan's character is "newportified" lol for some reason that made me laugh.

**Theresa-**Me too!

**TheOCisMe-**Chap 17 is out right now. Sorry for the late update…

On with the story!

"Cohen!" Summer wailed, "Hurry up! Your grandfather's party is _tonight_, and I still have to find a dress."

"Coming, dear." Seth rolled his eyes at Ryan and walked into the foyer, where Summer was wearing jean shorts and a light orange tube top.

"I think I'm going to skip the party," Marissa told Ryan, leaning her head wearily against the counter.

"Why? It won't be fun unless you're there!"

"I don't know…I mean, it's a big fancy Newport bash, isn't it?" Ryan nodded, and Marissa continued, closing her eyes. "Well, I'm not exactly Newport material, am I?"

Ryan wrapped his arm around Marissa's shoulder. "Marissa, you can be. All of Summer's friends like you, I like you, my parents like you. Has someone said something to you?"

Marissa shook her head. "No…I just don't belong. I know it."

"Please come, for me?" Ryan pleaded, softly kissing the top of Marissa's head.

"Well…" Ryan cut Marissa off with a gentle kiss on the lips. "Okay. But can we leave early?"

"Uhh…" Ryan smiled apologetically at Marissa. "Not really, because it's on Caleb's boat."

"That's okay."

"You sure?"

"As long as I'm with you, I'll be fine."

"Let's go to the mall. Maybe Summer and Seth haven't left yet, and we can get a ride off of them. Because you need a dress."

Ryan grabbed Marissa's hand and they ran out the door, almost bowling Sandy over. He was wearing a wetsuit and his hair was slicked back…he'd just returned from surfing. Summer and Seth were still in the driveway, and Marissa could see them arguing animatedly.

"Can we come?" Ryan shouted, interrupting whatever stupid fight they were fighting.

Summer smiled. "Yeah, hop in. Oh, and Ryan, would you rather go to South Coast Plaza or Fashion Island?"

Ryan looked nervously from Summer to Seth and back again. Face the wrath of Summer's rage blackouts…or Seth. What a _hard_ decision. "South Coast Plaza," he said easily, and Summer smiled triumphantly at Seth.

"Ha! I told you."

Seth glared, although lovingly, at his girlfriend. "Only because Ryan's _scared_ of you," he pointed out. "What about you, Marissa? South Coast or Fashion Island?"

Marissa really wasn't sure what was better, South Coast or Fashion Island. But since Summer wanted to go to South Coast… "South Coast."

"Nobody likes me. They all like Summer," Seth whined, leaning his head on Summer's shoulder. "Hop in."

Once they got to the mall Seth and Ryan tried to sidle away, telling the girls they needed to do some shopping of their own.

"Oh no you don't." Summer waggled a finger warningly at Seth and Ryan. "Sit." She pointed to a few stuffed armchairs just outside the dressing room.

"Let them go," Marissa said, "Maybe they do have errands to run."

Summer sighed dramatically. "You have so much to learn. Cohen tries this trick every time we go to the mall. Their 'errands' consist of browsing CD's they're not going to buy and stuffing their faces with auntie Anne's pretzels."

Seth rubbed his stomach. "Mmm," he murmured wishfully, "I could really go for one of those cinnamon sugar pretzels."

Ryan hit Seth's arm. "Shut up! You're making my mouth water."

Summer turned on her heel, ready to look for a dress. "You two better be here when we get back," she warned. Seth nodded glumly and sat down in a chair, Ryan next to him.

Soon after, but not soon enough, Marissa and Summer came hurrying to the dressing rooms, each stopping to kiss her boyfriend. They disappeared into the dressing rooms, and an assistant with arms full of dresses came hurrying by a moment later.

Summer came out and modeled her first dress. It was a peach colored cocktail dress with a plunging neckline and spaghetti straps with a pearly sheen.

Seth put his two thumbs up and Summer beamed. She went back into the dressing room and emerged just as quickly. Marissa had yet to come out. Seth didn't like Summer's next dress, a strapless cerulean ball gown.

Summer wrinkled her nose and went back to change into dress number three.

She was twirling in the third dress, a black cocktail length dress with loads of white tulle beneath that flew up into a saucer shape, when Marissa came out in a multicolor Missoni concoction. It was light pinkish purple and yellow and brown and just all-around breathtaking, especially with Marissa in it.

All three of the other teens stared at Marissa, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Is it that horrible?" she asked finally, painstakingly averting her eyes from meeting Ryan's, Seth's, or Summer's. "I guess I'm just not made for these kinds of cloth—"

"Marissa! Summer shrieked, "Are you crazy? The dress is gorgeous, it's perfect, absolutely perfect!"

Ryan had to agree. The dress fit Marissa like a glove, as though it had been created especially for her. He smiled shyly at Marissa and she couldn't help but grin back.

"You look beautiful," Seth said in all seriousness. Summer smacked him on the lips before going back into her dressing room.

Marissa, content with her selection, headed to her dressing room to change back into her own clothes.

Seth and Ryan leaned back into the cushions of their chairs, both praying Summer would find her dress soon.

Marissa closed the door of her dressing room, as she had finished changing, and knocked on the door of Summer's. Seth watched, transfixed, as Marissa disappeared into Summer's dressing room, dress in hand.

His eyes glazing over wistfully, Seth said, "I bet some major lesbian hotness is happening in there as we speak."

Ryan rolled his eyes but he too couldn't help but wonder, although he was almost certain of Seth's inaccuracy.

"Why don't we find out?" Ryan conspiratorially lowered his voice. Seth grinned and stood up, pressing a finger to his mouth. Ryan nodded and they tiptoed over to Summer's dressing room. Ryan stood a bit away from the door; should Summer or Marissa come out he could make a run for his armchair, whereas Seth pressed his ear right up against the door. There was no need, as both of the girls' voices were high-pitched and strained.

"Summer, look at this price tag. I can't afford something like this." In the dressing room Marissa shoved the tag under Summer's nose. Summer inspected it dutifully.

"But I can." $957 was that much for a dress, especially not Chanel and especially not when Summer's father was paying.

"Summer, I can't ask you to pay for this." Marissa words were persuasive enough but Summer was certain by the longing look in Marissa's eyes that her step-cousin loved this dress.

"Look, Marissa, I'm not taking no for an answer. You live with my family and we're going to support you. We, meaning my dad." Summer would let Marissa think she was doing her a favor by accepting the dress. "Please let me buy it for you, it would really mean a lot to me."

"This isn't me, though, Sum. I'm not the kind of girl who should be wear—"

"No!" Summer cut her off. "I'm not interested in your excuses or reasoning. You're getting the dress.

Marissa sighed and hugged Summer. "You are so great," she told Summer who blushed furiously.

"Now, get out and go mack on your boyfriend or something. I need to find my dress!"

With this Seth and Ryan scurried back to the armchairs and had barely managed to look settled before Marissa came out with her _very_ expensive dress in hand.

They exchanged looks as Marissa walked up to Ryan and sat down on his lap.

After a whiled Marissa closed her eyes, until the strident voice of Summer rudely awakened her.

"What do you think?" Summer was wearing a strapless black dress with white polka dots. It cupped her breasts and gave the illusion of Summer being taller than she really was. It was perfect for her.

Marissa quickly opened her eyes. "Oh, Sum, it's beautiful!"

Seth nodded and Ryan did too, trying to stifle yawns. Summer glared at the two of them but said, "This is the one. Let me go change."

Summer and Marissa went up the counter to pay leaving Ryan and Seth snuggled in the armchairs.

"Summer's really a great girl…I mean, she's nice…uh…"

"I know what you mean, Ryan. That was really nice of her in the dressing room."

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes, beginning to drift off.

Someone was tickling Seth's nose. He woke up with a start. "What?" he jumped. Summer giggled and kissed his nose.

"We went to pay for our dresses and when we came back you guys were sleeping. Jesus, we were only here for…" Summer checked her watch, "…two and a half hours. That's not long at all!"

Seth rolled his eyes and followed Summer out of the store, Ryan and Marissa trailing behind them.

* * *

Ryan and Marissa waltzed across the floor. Ryan had been dancing sine before he had learned to walk and Marissa was a fast learner. They'd barely sat down to catch their breath the entire party.

Marissa really wanted a drink but knew she shouldn't get one. She'd promised Ryan she would stop, and she would, just one more drink tonight wouldn't hurt, would it?

A slow ballad came on and they stopped waltzing. Ryan drew Marissa closer to his body and they rocked back and forth, her head resting on his shoulder.

From a table Grace watched her former boyfriend contemptuously. She'd get them back, good. It was going to involve some planning but once Grace was finished with them, the Cohens would forbid Ryan to be with Marissa, if he didn't break up with her already.

She grabbed two champagne flutes from a passing water and chugged them, feeling the bubbles rush to her perfectly styled head.

Seth and Summer were dancing alone, at the bow of the ship. The music trickled over them and enveloped them in a special moment between water and stars.

"Look at the stars, Summer. They're shining for you."

"Cohen," Summer said, "You are the sweetest…the best…"

"It rubs off," Seth said. Summer looked at him, confused, and he continued. "You're the best anyone could ever get and I have you, so your charm rubbed off on me I guess."

Summer kissed Seth gently, nibbling on his lower lip then plunging her tongue into his warm mouth that tasted faintly of the champagne he'd drunk for the toast and, if Summer concentrated hard enough, she could almost taste the cinnamon sugar from the pretzel she'd bought for Seth at the mall.

Seth closed his eyes, cherishing the moment with Summer, as he always did, a mental snapshot in his mind for years to come. He loved her so much and hoped they would have many more nights like these. But now, in the words of one of his all time favorite movies, _The Little Mermaid_, it was time to 'kiss the girl'.

They were thoroughly enjoying themselves, and Seth's hands had begun to wander when Kirsten came up. "Ahem," she said, "I don't want to break anything up…" Seth and Summer looked up and broke apart, embarrassed. "…but I need Seth for a moment. His grandfather wants another toast, with the whole family up on the podium." She shrugged and wrapped her arm around Seth.

"I'll be back," Seth said to Summer, in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation. Summer smiled at the retreating mother and son. Seth was lucky to have a mom like Kirsten; she was successful, happily married, and fun to be around.

Caleb walked over to Ryan and Marissa once the slow song had ended.

"Mind if I borrow my grandson for a bit?" he asked Marissa. "Another toast, you know."

Marissa shook her head as Ryan kissed her—short and without tongue because of Caleb's presence—and walked off.

She could hear them discussing the Newport Group as they headed for the podium, where Kirsten, Sandy, and Seth had already assembled. Once they'd gotten far enough away, Marissa turned and headed to the bar on the other end of the boat. She'd just satisfy her craving a little…

She contemplated ordering a drink, but then decided on something else, something better and something that would last longer.

The bartender was more than happy to give the sparkling young woman in Missoni an entire small bottle of vodka. He winked as she slipped the bottle into a light fuchsia purse Summer had lent her for the evening.

Marissa hurried to the bathroom and locked the door, taking the alcohol and a bottle of Ashley's prescription pills out. Someone knocked on the door just as she began to drink, pumping herself up for the pills. The person began to toss profanities through the door.

There was no time for the pills and Marissa found herself strangely relieved. She took one last satisfying swig before screwing the top on the bottle and shoving it and the pill bottle into her purse.

Opening the door, Marissa was practically bowled over by a drunken Grace. Quickly she hurried away from the bathroom before Grace recognized her, although, in her current state, it was highly unlikely.

She took her place in the crowd and caught Ryan's eye up on the podium. Caleb was talking about his wonderful family and such, and Ryan was staring at Marissa lovingly. Seth's eyes were probably on Summer.

After the long drawn out speech Ryan made his way through the crowd to Marissa.

"For a few minutes I couldn't spot you in the crowd," he said. Marissa shrugged and hugged Ryan as the boat chugged back into the harbor.

"It's crowded here," she said simply. Ryan kissed Marissa's neck and goosebumps rose on her arms and bare legs. She shivered and Ryan draped his suit jacket over her shoulders, and she kissed him gratefully. The kiss intensified as the boat prepared for docking, and Marissa ran her hands through Ryan's hair while he cupped her jaw in his hands.

Suddenly the boat jerked backwards. They had docked.

Grace came up to Ryan and Marissa and broke apart their embrace. She stepped right in front of Marissa and drunkenly slurred, "Ryan, we need to talk." And then she sloppily planted a kiss on his mouth, he could taste the alcohol on her lips and tongue.

Ryan pushed her away roughly but Marissa had already run off the boat. He ran after her, Seth and Summer making their way to the car as well.

Marissa ran off the dock and to the parking lot, tears streaming down her face. Grace had to ruin everything! It wasn't Ryan she was angry or upset with right now, it was Grace. And the way Grace thought she could just kiss Ryan whenever she wanted, even though they were broken up.

Marissa was in the driver's seat, her head spinning slightly, she turned on the engine.

"Marissa, stop!" Ryan ran in front of the car. She backed up to turn and escape Ryan but backed right up into a car.

She began to cry more freely now, as she slowly removed her hands from the steering wheel and let Ryan gently move her into the passenger seat.

On the way home Ryan drove and Marissa sat next to him. Seth and Summer were snuggling in the backseat of the Range Rover, kissing and cuddling and whispering to each other. Ryan turned up the music and Marissa was grateful; listening to the sounds of Seth and Summer was not exactly her cup of tea.

She bent down and opened her purse, which was on the floor. While Ryan was concentrating on driving she slipped the bottle out and unscrewed it, quickly sipping it then replacing the cap and holding it between her legs.

Ryan glanced over just as she was screwing the cap on, and his eyes tinted with anger, but before he could say anything…

Red and blue lights flashes in Marissa's eyes. "Shit," Ryan said, and pulled over. A cop came over and Ryan rolled down the window. The officer shone his flashlight in the teenagers' eyes.

"You kids been drinking? Your taillight's broken."

Ryan shook his head, looked the main straight in the eye to prove the validity of his statement. "No, sir. We were at the mall earlier and when we got to our car someone had hit it."

The officer shone his flashlight on Marissa, seeing her eyes, which had become slightly bloodshot, mostly from the alcohol and partly from her tears. "She was crying," Ryan explained, and the officer nodded doubtfully.

"You'd best get that taillight fixed. I'm going to let you off with a warning," the officer said, as his radio crackled to life. "Go straight home, you hear me?" And without waiting for a response the officer got into his car and drove off, lights still flashing.

Ryan walked over to Marissa's side of the car, his eyes flickering with anger. His temper was flaring up, and Marissa was crying. What a way to end the night. He opened the door and reached between her ankles for the bottle, flinging it far off the side of the highway. They couldn't even hear it crash and break.

Ryan slammed the door shut, and Marissa cowered in the seat. Ryan opened it again and slammed it with so much force that the entire car shook, trembling, just like Marissa.

Without a word he walked back to the driver's side and drove home, slowly feeling his temper subside. He didn't want to yell at Marissa, without words he'd conveyed his anger, shock, and upset.

Ryan let his hand creep over to Marissa's and clasp it affectionately. Without words, she knew that he was no longer as angry. But she knew how disappointed he was in her, she'd almost gotten them arrested.

When they got to Summer's house Ryan kissed Marissa coolly on the cheek and she whispered with vodka-enhanced breath into his ear, "I'm sorry."


	18. We Don’t Want To Spend The Next Year Alo...

**On the Flip Side**

****

**Chapter 18: We Don't Want To Spend The Next Year Alone, But Will We Find Each Other Before It's Too Late?**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.

**A/N: **Thanks for the awesome reviews! I'm so sorry for the delay but I'm back from France and ready to write my heart out. This story is only going to have 5 or 7 more chapters…and I'm already planning the sequel. Oh, and sorry about chapter 18 being posted wrong—I posted it but for some reason the formatting was messed up and I didn't have time to repost it.

On with the story (finally!)

Ryan woke up in the quest room of Summer's house more than a little confused.

Needless to say, Ryan was even more surprised when he twisted his neck to the right, and his eyes found an angelic sleeping Marissa.

Not wanting to wake her from her beauty sleep, Ryan slid out from under the covers but found his right arm wrapped protectively around her slim waist. Sighing, he wiggled it carefully until he had freed it, and could get up from the bed.

He thought he saw her stir when he left, but her eyes remained closed. Ryan crept downstairs, remembering last night's events but not quite so angry anymore. He vaguely remembered tucking a visibly upset Marissa into bed, laying with her until she fell asleep, promising himself that he'd get up in just a minute…so that was what had happened. Except for the getting up part; Ryan's body had forced him to sleep with Marissa. Ha. That was a weak excuse and Ryan knew it. But he didn't care. Seth slept over Summer's house all the time and they definitely didn't just 'sleep'.

When Ryan walked into the kitchen, he saw Seth and Summer sitting at the kitchen table, both reading the newspaper, glasses of orange juice and mugs of hot chocolate along with scrambled eggs and toast at their place settings. Ryan stopped in his tracks, watching the couple; he was amused, to say the least.

Summer and Seth both picked up their mugs, took a sip, and set them down to the left of their juice glasses. Seth slid his plate across the table where it landed next to Summer's crust-less bread. Eyes still in the paper, Summer pulled the crusts off of his bread in one clean sweep, then slid the plate back across the table. Without so much as a nod, wink, or glance, Seth and Summer closed their sections of the paper at the same time and passed them across the table as well.

Both took a swallow of their orange juice, then opened their new papers and began to read.

"Good morning," Ryan interjected into their morning routine, very similar to that of an old married couple. "How are the kids? Rachel in law school already? I hear Adam's just gotten engaged."

Seth and Summer both look up, look at each other, and began to laugh. "Hey, Ryan," they exclaimed at nearly the exact same moment, dissolving into giggles.

Seth clutched his heart and made a face of feigned hurt at Ryan. "We're not naming our kid Adam," Seth told Summer. "Adam's a completely awful name, Ryan. I don't know what kind of a guy you take me for, but…"

Ryan opened his mouth to retort, but Summer cut him off. "And we're not naming our daughter Rachel, either." She glared at Ryan. "When you and Marissa have kids, you're not naming _any_ of them, okay?"

Ryan threw his hands up in the air. "Okay. I get it. Although I do like the name Adam."

"I feel bad for your unborn children already," Seth said in all seriousness. Ryan left the kitchen muttering about grumpy old married couples. "Can you believe him? Is he talking about us?"

Summer placed her hand on Seth's and smiled warmly, a sparkle in her eye. "Who knows? We'll probably be doing this every day for the next sixty years. Kid's got a point."

"You think?"

Summer nodded, reassuring her boyfriend, the love of her life with his mop of dark curls and goofy grin. "I think we've got something…I don't know what…but we've got it."

Seth knew exactly what she meant, even though to most people, her words would sound nonsensical. "What we've got…is love," he announced, " I mean, if this isn't love, then what is? I see you with puffy eyes and no makeup and you've got a mean case of morning breath most days but I stick around…"

Summer wrinkled her perfect nose at Seth, quite the comical sight. "The morning breath, I know of, but are my eyes really _puffy_?"

Seth smiled and stood up to lean across the table and kiss Summer on her forehead. "They're perfectly puffy. I wouldn't have you any other way."

-- A few weeks later--

"So, New Years' is just around the corner," Ryan said, causing Marissa's face to light up. Just three days ago they'd celebrated Christmukkah together, even though Ryan had been holed up in his room with the flu. He was all better now, and ready to celebrate the new year in better health.

Not much else had happened since the night of their almost-arrest. Ryan and Marissa had had a lovers' quarrel about it, but immediately after they'd made up. It was silly to let little mistakes like that weigh their relationship down. And Marissa had promised not to drink as much anymore, and was sticking true to her word—she hadn't touched liquor since that night.

"Summer told me about the party you always throw, since your parents go away and trust you with the house." Marissa snuggled in closer to Ryan. They were on the couch watching Summer and Seth compete in _Dance Dance Revolution_, the mat on the floor and the patterns showing up on the TV.

Ryan grinned, played with his hands a little. "Well…" Ryan played with the unraveling hem of his oldest wifebeater. Kirsten had been on his case for months to throw the cotton tank away, but Ryan couldn't bear parting with it.

"Well…?" Marissa prodded him, taking his hand and entwining her fingers with his.

"I was thinking maybe we'd skip the party…I mean, Seth has Summer to help plan and run the party so maybe we could go to Summer's house…hang out just the two of us? Go out for a fancy dinner beforehand, if you wanted...?"

Marissa's face fell. "Oh. I was really looking forward to the party…I don't know…"

Ryan nodded, not really understanding why Marissa wouldn't want to spend the night with him, just the two of them and the New Year.

--Later…--

"Marissa walked into Ryan's room, where he was busy unplugging his computer and stashing it in the closet. She was wearing a short black Elie Tahari pleated dress, with a fitted bodice and grosgrain-trimmed neckline. From the waist down it was pleated with trimmed sheer inlays. A pair of Moschino suede bow patent pumps completed her outfit, and her hair was pinned and twisted off to the side, ringlets falling in soft patterns on her shoulder.

Ryan was wearing a fitted white cotton t-shirt and jeans. "Hey," he greeted Marissa, who looked stunning. She almost made him want to stay for the party…almost. But he was going to stick with his convictions. They could spend the night apart. It wouldn't be terrible… "You look beautiful."

Marissa walked up behind Ryan and looped her slender arms around his waist. "You're really not going to stay for the party? Summer got me all dressed up and everything." She was obviously hurt, but Ryan nodded. Marissa kissed him on the cheek to let him know she wasn't too mad. "I'm going downstairs to help Seth and Summer move the couch."

Ryan nodded again as Marissa left the room. God…why did she have to smell _so_ good and look _so_ goddamn gorgeous? It was making it very hard for him to leave…Ryan finished packing his computer into the closet and grabbed his leather jacket. He turned the lights off and left his room, hoping it wouldn't be in shambles when he returned after dawn.

Meanwhile, Marissa walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Seth drinking a can of iced tea. "Aren't you supposed to be helping Summer move the couch?" Marissa eyed Seth suspiciously.

He grinned at her, ignoring the questioning look she shot his way. "Yeah," he confirmed simply. Marissa tapped her high-heeled foot impatiently on the kitchen floor. Seth looked away from her, and she sighed irritably.

"Fine," she huffed, and stomped into the living room to help Summer. Summer was laying on the couch in her Y Yigal tank dress, a multicolor dream of turquoise, fuchsia, and coral colors. The front and back were deep v-necks and the shoulders had tied ends. On her feet were fuchsia Stuart Weitzman crocodile slides with a little bow on the front.

She sat up as soon as she laid eyes on Marissa. "Thank God! Seth is _no_ help at all," Summer whined, "He could barely lift his end of the couch, much less follow my directions."

Marissa nodded her head sympathetically, as cousins do, although she found the whole situation rather laughable. Seth was a weakling and his girlfriend had absolute power—and that wasn't just emotionally, but physically as well. She lifted up one side of the couch with considerable effort, and Summer got the other. Between the two of them they managed to move it to Summer's appointed spot.

"Seth, we're done," Summer shouted, "Get your bony ass back in here…I'm not done with you."

"Yes, dear." Summer and Marissa could hear Seth fumbling around in the kitchen, most likely trying to rearrange the china cabinet so he could stall. Facing Summer when he was in trouble was not one of his favorite pastimes.

"Cohen!" Summer resorted to screaming after five minutes and put her hands on her hips. "He is going to get it…he's lucky it's New Year's Eve or he wouldn't be getting any."

"Summer!" Marissa admonished, covering her ears and feeling a rush of red creep up her neck, "I did not need to know _that_."

Summer shrugged. Seth came walking into the room, head down, studying the movement of his feet. Ryan walked in behind him, carrying his leather jacket for the cooler winds of that night, still clad casually in the white t-shirt and jeans. Marissa sighed; she'd been looking forward to this party, to spending New Year's with Ryan. But he was hell-bent on not being at the party this year, and she didn't know what she was supposed to do. Summer and Seth had recruited her to help organize the party and she'd really enjoyed the preparations. But was a party—without Ryan—going to be fun?

The Cohens had left the previous day for their annual New Year's vacation getaway, and the party was bound to get out of control, just as it did every year, according to Summer.

"So, you're really not staying?" Seth asked Ryan, casting a meaningful glance in Marissa's direction.

Ryan shrugged, helpless. He felt bad but wasn't looking forward to being at a party. "Yeah," he managed to say. "I'm gonna go now…maybe go down to the pier or something. Have fun and Seth—if it gets too out of control, call me, okay?"

With one backwards glance at Marissa, Ryan felt his heart twist in his chest and hurried out of his house. He'd go down to the pier for an evening of silent, lonesome contemplation. Marissa watched him go, an increasingly sinking feeling in her stomach. This was not how she was supposed to spend New Year's. Marissa was all dressed up but wanted nothing more than to be in jeans and a tank, out on the pier with Ryan. She'd stay at Ryan and Seth's house though—she had to. Marissa had promised Seth and Summer this.

There was always next year…

Seth and Summer noticed how obviously unhappy their two best friends were about their decisions, but decided to keep their mouths shut (for once!) and let fate play itself out.

There were only forty-five minute until the party, and Seth and Summer still had to set out all of the alcohol and liquors they'd been stashing for over a week under Seth's bed and in his closet.

* * *

"The party's going great!" Rocky yelled to Marissa over the heart-pulsing music, beer in hand.

She nodded and smiled, looked down at her drink—tequila and a mix of cranberry and orange juice. It was drinkable. She hadn't taken a sip yet, remembering her promise to Ryan. It didn't seem right to break it, not on this night and not without him.

"So, where's Ryan?" Rocky looked around, as if he could spot Ryan's head in the crowd of gyrating teenage bodies.

"He didn't want to come," Marissa told Rocky, a little embarrassed. She knew what was coming next. Rocky would ask her if they were still together…why wasn't he here…yadda, yadda. Marissa herself was still asking these questions in her mind. It was New Year's Eve, for chrissakes. What was she doing alone, at this party, when she had an utterly amazing boyfriend somewhere on the pier?

"Are you guys…are you still together?"

Marissa nodded. "We just wanted to spend New Year's in different ways." Rocky nodded his head, and he and Marissa both knew it was completely ridiculous, her reasoning. Couples did not just 'spend New Year's in different ways'.

"Are you in a fight?" Rocky ventured, touching Marissa's arm hesitatingly. She shook her head, not so unconvincingly, although they really weren't in a fight…or was _this_ a fight, a display of power, of sorts?

"You know what…I need to go…I'm sorry Rocky. Happy New Year." Marissa kissed Rocky on the cheek awkwardly, and made her way through the crowd to the patio, thinking she could leave from there. She set her full cup down on the patio, hoping nobody would knock it over.

An extremely wasted girl crashed into Marissa. "Sorry," she muttered, then, seeing that it was Marissa, brightened up.

"Grace?" Marissa stared curiously at Ryan's ex-girlfriend, who was limping. "Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?" snapped Grace, clutching Marissa's arm.

Marissa wrenched her arm out of Grace's viselike grip and started to walk away, shaking her head. She'd tried to be nice to Grace and all she got in return was attitude.

"Wait, Marissa, can you help me?" Grace looked over her shoulder and saw four girls helping another out of the pool. Marissa too looked at the Cohens' infinity pool, where a drenched girl was being helped out of the pool.

"What happened?" Marissa eyed the group of girls attempting to get their friend out of the pool. One slipped on the wet stones and fell into the pool alongside her friend, emitting a scream.

"I…I got into a fight with this girl and I kind of pushed her into the pool. Long story."

Marissa nodded her head. It sounded like one. "So what am I supposed to do? Assuming I'm willing to help you."

"Please," Grace pleaded, "Just take me home, Marissa…you don't know what those girls will do to me if I stick around…please?"

Marissa sighed and opened her purse, checking the time on the cell phone Mr. Roberts had purchased for her use. Twenty minutes to midnight.

"I live like, five minutes away from here."

"Fine." Marissa sighed again. "Let's get out of here." She saw the two girls being pulled out of the water and grabbed Grace by the elbow and dragged her off of the Cohen property.

Once they were in Summer's car—Marissa was holding the keys for Summer—Marissa turned to Grace and, rather coldly, said, "You owe me—big time."

Grace nodded. "You know, you're not as bad as I thought," she said softly, offering Marissa a weak smile.

"Thanks," Marissa replied somewhat sarcastically.

"I mean it…" Grace looked out the window. "I've never seen Ryan happier than he is with you."

That was a lot for Grace to admit to Marissa, and Marissa knew this. "Thanks," she said, this time, sincerely.

"So, where was Ryan? I didn't see him at the party…"

Marissa sighed. "He didn't go. We wanted to spend New Year's different ways…so he went to the pier or the beach or something…"

"Oh." Grace seemed surprised. "You know, they say the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the next year."

Marissa sat in silence as Grace proceeded to direct her towards her house, letting Grace's words sink in. After she'd dropped Grace off, the words echoed in her head.

_They say the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the next year._ Alone.

Marissa didn't want to spend the next year alone. She didn't want to spend the rest of New Year's alone. She wondered if she'd made a mistake, not agreeing to spend New Year's with just Ryan.

Her mind made up, Marissa began to drive towards the pier. Her cell phone rang shrilly and she fumbled to get it.

"Hello?" she said, grabbing a lip gloss out of her purse as well.

"Coop? It's Summer. I saw you leaving with Grace…what was up with _that_?"

"Hey Summer." Marissa unscrewed the top and began to apply the gloss to her lips, cradling the phone on her neck and attempting to drive with her knees. Naturally, she began to swerve all over the fortunately deserted road.

Meanwhile…

Ryan stood about ten feet away from a couple caught up in their embrace. It was New Year's Eve, and there were pairs huddled in the sand on the beach, waiting for the fireworks to ring in the New Year. Ryan, of course, was alone. He began to conjure images of the beautiful Marissa in his mind, wondering what she was doing at the party and if he should go back and spend the rest of the evening with her. After all, there were only—he consulted his watch—eight minutes until midnight. He would just barely make it if he left now…

Ryan got into the Range Rover and quickly sped away from the pier. He was driving down the mostly empty road and saw a car careening down both sides of the road, paying no attention to the solid yellow line. Passing the car, he saw Marissa in it, and was shocked. Was she on her way to meet him? Quickly, Ryan made an illegal u-turn and followed her, honking frantically.

Three minutes to midnight. Marissa heard the car behind her honking and pulled over to the side, thinking the driver wanted to pass her on the one lane road. But the other driver stopped, and she became very scared. Here she was, on the side of the road, a few minutes before midnight and there were no other cars in sight. And another driver was following her, had stopped her.

Marissa locked the doors as Ryan got out of his car. She kept the engine running, hoping she could make a quick getaway if approached.

Ryan walked over to Summer's car and realized that Marissa was scared. Of course she would be. She had absolutely no idea who the other driver was (him) and was probably freaking out majorly right about now. He tapped once, twice on the window.

Thirty seconds to midnight. Marissa cowered in the drivers' seat, too scared to drive away. She was all alone on New Year's Eve, being cornered in her car by a madman. Not exactly how she thought it would all pan out.

Marissa wished she were with Ryan, wished she were preparing to kiss him as the seconds ticked down. Where was he? Where was her knight in shining armor? Would Ryan come to save the day, or would Marissa spend the night exactly how she didn't want to—alone?

Fifteen seconds to midnight. Peeking open her eyes, they lit up, Marissa saw that the "madman" was only Ryan.

Ten seconds to midnight. Marissa unlocked the doors and got out of the car, wrapping her arms around Ryan.

Two seconds to midnight. "You scared me!" she said, and looked up at him, her lips meeting his in a passionate touch just as the fireworks exploded in the night sky, and in their eyes. Ryan gently nibbled on Marissa's lower lip, then pushed his tongue inside her mouth, exploring it, caressing it with his sensitive tongue. When he finally broke apart from the rousing kiss, a perfectly dramatic way to ring in the New Year, Ryan looked at Marissa with an adoring gaze.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Marissa questioned, the events of only a minute before lost in her mind. All that she could think of was Ryan, and his kissable lips, and the way he'd looked at her when they touched.

"For scaring you," Ryan explained. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Marissa responded, so happy she could hardly contain herself. She let out a tiny squeal of delight. Ryan looked deep into her eyes and something within them struck him like a sword.

It was love.

So he opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and let the words come spilling out on their own accord. "Marissa, I love you."

Lost for words, Marissa let her lips do the talking, expressing more with a caring touch than her words would ever be able to.

"I love you too," she managed. Ryan held onto his girlfriend, the love of his life, for dear life. He had finally found her, and was never going to let her go.

The wind an invisible shadow moving Marissa's golden-brown strands in the slightest way, she and Ryan stood against the firework-smudged sky, having found the perfect way to ring in the New Year; together.

**A/N:** So, what did you think of the chapter? Let me know…I hope it was worth the wait!


End file.
